, I talked about a case, and also talked about some parents' ways to deal with such situations. But what are the scenes we often see?
Mom came home from get off work, and the little boy greeted me and said that my mother could play with me for a while. Mom said no, time is too late, mom will have to have dinner. The little boy asked very upset: Why do you want to have dinner? I hate dinner. After hearing this, my mother was very annoyed and yelled: If we don't make dinner, what do we eat and drink at night, and the whole family drink northwest wind!
The little boy did not give up. He was infected by his mother's emotions. He thought that his mother was unreasonable, so he entangled with his mother and made his mother even more angry. In the end, there was a fight. In the end, the child walked aside and cried very aggrievedly. The mother also went to cook with a bad mood, so if you want to calm the child down, instead of rushing over to the child, you can say something, Why not talk to her softly in his ear.
Parents should give their children a good example
Parents should give their children a good example. For example, if a child is always beating, you run to him and punish him with the palm of his hand, hoping to let him know that it hurts to be beaten, or tell him not to beat him. It's useless to do this. It's better to hug her and touch her hand gently. In this case, he will gradually change this habit. Because what he felt was not harsh, what he felt was help, what he felt was loving you, and loving her in the right way.
If you want your child to be calm . You have to learn to be emotionally calm with everyone in your family and cultivate your own inner peace. If you want your children to have a good language . Then you have to speak good language yourself, and don't talk about gossip with him.
If you want your children to tidy up their toys .Then your own things should be neatly arranged.
The child stands and sits and sits. How do you say things? These all started from imitating adults.
If you want your children to be honest and trustworthy, you can't lie in front of them, otherwise the children will not be the same. This is especially sensitive for us adults, because it is easy for us adults to lie in front of children . To cite the most common example, when we are adults with children, when we accompany children, we either read to children, or family members sit together, or do something else. At this moment, the phone rang, and you picked up the phone and found that it was a sales call. At this time, we often blurt out and say without thinking: I’m sorry, I’m in a meeting, or I’m at work.
If you are playing with your child at this time, or telling a story to the child, or talking to the child, then your answer will confuse the child. Because the child can't understand you, the child will think that it is impossible for an adult to tell a lie.
In fact, at this time, we just have to answer truthfully: I'm sorry, I am accompanying my child. This not only avoids lying in front of the children, but also avoids making up white lies, and will not let the children misunderstand us.
If you want your children to think clearly, then you must develop a good plan for doing things, and don’t think one thing is one thing. Don’t always find something wrong when you’re doing it, and then change it to another way. Therefore, the adults around the children are very important, because imitation is one of the most important learning methods for children, and he is imitating what adults are learning.
The imitation of children is divided into dominant imitation and implicit imitation
1. Dominant imitation : This is easy to find.
is what you do, what do kids do? You wipe the table,The child also wipes the table. You mopping the floor, the child wants to mop the floor, this is easier to find.
2. Implicit imitation: is the hardest to find.
What is the kid imitating? She imitated your emotions. If your child is naughty and mischievous, you are secretly angry in your heart, but your expression is indeed smiling, you will find that the child will only continue to be naughty, or even worse, because the child can feel the anger hidden in your heart . So implicit imitation is more important for children. In other words, when we adults face children, we must learn to adjust our emotions.
Recessive imitation will affect the child’s character generation accounted for 70%, and dominant imitation will only account for 30% of the child’s character development .
can also be seen from this that this implicit imitation has a greater impact on children.
The child is doing something wrong. Tell her that this is not right, that is wrong, or this is not the right thing, it is useless. You have to do it in the right way, let the child see the right way, and take the child to do it. This is how sets rules for children.
0 to 7 years old is the basis for establishing good behaviors
Children from 0 to 7 years old look up to adults, take adults as an example, trust adults, because Children between the ages of 0 and 7 are when they trust their parents most in their lives. In the past seven years, children have trusted their parents 100%. In the past seven years, if the way parents educate their children is not too wrong, then basically what parents teach their children to do? What do children do?
Children who are difficult to teach after the age of seven are basically not guided well in the first seven years of their lives, and has not established a good basis for good behaviors.
After the child is seven years old, the older he is, the less he trusts his parents. Basically, the child is not properly educated and guided at the age of 0-12. The education of children basically adopts the methods of coaxing, deceiving, and suppressing. After they grow up, they can't press or scold them. Therefore, the way of educating children has become either cheating or pleasing. As a result, the older the child is, the less he trusts his parents, and he even despises his parents because he hates his parents for doing so.
So, the stage of puberty at the age of thirteen or fourteen, also known as the stage of rebellion, is actually a concentrated outbreak of educational errors in the previous years. From this point, we can see that the education of children at home is actually a requirement for us as adults.
to make a 1% change for children
Then facing children, it is our second chance to learn, that is to say, we adults have to look at our lives again, we Life. How do we arrange our own growth? How to improve ourselves? This is more important.
In fact, for us adults, this is not so much about teaching children as we are self-education. Only when we educate ourselves, children will naturally teach them well.
In fact, in Chinese traditional culture, if you want to teach children well, there is a saying: Children don’t care, they rely on virtue. So what does this mean? It is that we adults should learn the principles of our ancestors' religion, treat people and things, think about being kind to others, and accumulating virtue and doing good.
In this situation, because what we do is to help children establish a correct outlook on life, world outlook and values. So when there are many children, we don’t have to take pains, we always think about how to educate them. In this way, children will imitate our ideas and practices according to the correct behavior of our adults, so they will grow up on their own.
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