Something happened yesterday, which made me feel that the thinking of depression is really different from that of normal people. I feel a little scared when I think about it now.
This is a fact that my experience yesterday made me more convinced. I am a diagnosed manic-depressive patient. Last night I watched a documentary. It was filmed in the hospital and recorded some real stories that happened to patients and doctors. The reason I have never dared to watch it is that I have always been particularly prone to empathize with the content of life and death, or the relationship between doctors and patients. I was afraid that the more I watched it, the sadder it became, but I still watched it last night.
One of the episodes records the intensive care unit , which captures the real treatment conditions of some critically ill patients. I originally thought that my feelings after watching it would be to feel sorry for the patients in front of the screen, to lament how insignificant and fragile people are in the face of viruses and diseases, and lose resonance, so we should cherish life. But to my surprise, the moment I read it, I didn't have the thoughts I just mentioned in my mind. My thinking made me subconsciously enter that scene, that critical ward, and I imagined myself as a critically ill person. I wrote this memo when I was reading it early last night. I can’t tell you what the specific content is, so I won’t read it.
So this makes me think that the thinking of people with bipolar disorder and depression is really different from that of normal people. It is more extreme, longer-term, and more automatic, like it is deeply rooted in your subconscious and you can't get rid of it. Fortunately, my current condition is stable. The next second I can stop having that thought, I realize that it is actually my condition that is stationed in my body. Over time, it has formed a cognitive thinking pattern, which made me subconsciously have such thoughts. The disease is caused by cognition. Another thing to be thankful for is that fortunately, I just brought myself into that role. I didn’t really want to go. Well, if I were to be brought into that role and that scene with a friend whose condition is not under stable control, it might be really difficult to get through the unhappiness of depression. His negative thinking, negative emotions and ordinary depression, the occasional negative thoughts are different, really different. I have to distinguish my mood.
Finally, I would like to remind all my friends that you must cooperate with the treatment. If you feel that you are in good condition, you must not take it lightly. If you feel something is wrong, you must return to the hospital in time. In addition, as the old saying goes, if you feel that your emotions are not right for a long time, you can't control them, and it affects your normal life, then go to the hospital to have a look. Everyone should be healthy and happy.
