Text | Zhixu (Fushu columnist)
I have read a sentence: "Anxiety will not eliminate tomorrow's sadness, but will only consume today's strength."
In this life, people will encounter countless ditches and obstacles every day, producing varying degrees of anxiety.
Once you fall into a state of anxiety, it is like stumbling with your left foot over your right foot. Before you take a step, you are defeated.
If you want to cure anxiety, the best way is to find a specific solution and move forward step by step, and the anxiety will naturally disappear.
The best way to cure anxiety is to force savings, deepen your ability, and quit comparing.
Forced savings
2022 is coming to an end, and there is a hot topic on Zhihu: How much money have you saved this year? The answers in the
comment area can be described as mixed.
There are young single aristocrats showing off their unrestrained life, spending money every month;
There are also people who lament that it is not easy to support a family and save money in middle age;
However, the most favorable comments are still those who show the amount of their savings.
As the saying goes: "If you have food in your hands, you will not panic in your heart." Having funds in your card that can resist risks is the greatest confidence in life.
Recently, I received a message from my colleague Xiao Zhong, "Can you lend me some money to make a living?"
Looking at this message, I couldn't help but sigh.
Xiao Zhong is a well-known exquisite girl in the company. She takes a taxi to and from work every day. When she is tired from work, she orders an afternoon tea to reward herself. She travels around during holidays and spends extravagant food and clothing, which attracts the envy of everyone.
However, the epidemic suddenly struck back, the company was shut down, and all employees were on vacation.
At first, I could see Xiao Zhong’s exquisite nine-square grid photo in the circle of friends. After a few days, there was no movement until today when I received a text message from her to borrow money. After asking,
found out that Xiao Zhong’s glamorous life came at the expense of moonlight. When he had a stable job, his monthly income was good and more than enough to support himself.
Nowadays, I am resting at home and have no income. The landlord is calling for debts, and Huabei and credit card bills are also calling for payment. The pressure of life is coming. Seeing that the day is approaching to pay the rent and repayment, Xiao Zhong, who is strapped for money, has no choice but to talk to his colleagues and friends around him.
Fortunately, Xiao Zhong is usually a kind person, and everyone also donated money to help her tide over the difficulties.
Afterwards, Xiao Zhong said with emotion: As the old saying goes, "carry an umbrella when the weather is sunny, and bring dry food when you are full." From now on, you must save money every month. In this way, you will never want to experience the scene of asking people everywhere and saying good words to borrow money.
Franklin said: Two people with empty pockets cannot straighten their waists. Why? Because I will ask for help!
We work hard to make money and save money, not just because we love money, but to live a more calm and practical life.
The adult world has its own sufferings, but money can solve 80% of the sufferings, and saving money is one of the important means to resist these sufferings.
With a certain amount of savings, we will no longer worry about food and clothing for the whole family, and can more calmly appreciate the little happiness in life;
We don’t have to compromise all day long. We can have the right and freedom to say “no” and give priority to what we love;
We can also sleep peacefully when a crisis comes, stay with our families, read and study, and turn crises into opportunities.
Compulsory savings can not only clear away all the troubles in life, but also turn it into a "fixing needle" in our lives. When the core is stable, everything will go smoothly.
Deep cultivation ability
Inamori Kazuo wrote in "Fighting Soul" that by pouring energy into one field and drilling deeply, you can understand the truth of life and understand the vast world and its myriad phenomena.
We don’t need to be proficient in everything or a decathlon person. The precious thing about life is to find the field that you really love and are good at, and make persistent efforts.
won the Golden Bell Award some time ago. Taiwanese actress Hsieh Ying-hsuan won the Golden Bell Award for her outstanding performance in "Heaven on the Fourth Floor".
takes stock of the roles she has played over the years, which are both consistent with her age and outstanding in each of them.
She only started to show off her talents in middle age. She knows that only by polishing her acting skills can she gain a place on the screen.
In order to improve her acting skills, she likes to stand on the street and observe passers-by. When she meets people who are different from her, she will observe the way others speak, become familiar with other people's tones and timbres, and understand the logic of how others interpret things;
See it well She will collect the videos in folders by category, and use her spare time to imitate and learn other people's wording, sentence-making habits and tone of voice;
All the focus in life revolves around the word "performance", even if she goes out to meet new friends, it is because it is beneficial to performance.
It is precisely because of her continuous professional development that she has gradually moved from being ignored to supporting roles and leading roles, and from theater actors to movie queens and TV queens.
Really powerful people know how to work hard and work hard, focus on improving themselves in one field, and then reap the fruits.
There is a famous "short board effect" in psychology. However, with the continuous development of society, the traditional "short board effect" will be replaced by the "long board effect".
Because when you tilt the barrel, you will find that whether you can hold more water depends on your longboard, which is your best skill.
Only when you identify a certain field, work hard with ingenuity, and continue to develop your longboard skills can you get unexpected surprises.
Quit Comparing
I have seen such an impressive sentence:
No matter which level you go to in life, there are people below the steps looking up to you, and there are people above the steps looking down on you.
Many of the pains and troubles in life are because we blindly compare ourselves with others and forget to enjoy our own life.
The great writer Mark Twain said: Comparison kills all happiness.
Peking University Talented woman Liu Yuanyuan shared a short story:
One day, the king gave the wise man a difficult problem:
"If I draw a line on paper and you are not allowed to cut the line in any way, how can I make the line shorter?"
The answer is unexpected - draw a longer line next to the original line.
When Liu Yuanyuan read this story, she was in college. It was the most inferior moment in her life. After hearing this story, she burst into tears.
She lamented:
"It turns out that it is precisely because of the longer line for comparison that the original line is defined as "short". It is precisely because we compare with others that we define ourselves as poor, stupid, and ugly with low self-esteem.
If there is no long line for comparison, then this line is just a normal black straight line. It has no so-called long and short;
If we do not compare with others, we are just normal ordinary people. We have advantages and disadvantages. The more we compare, the more we waste our lives.”
I agree very much with Maupassant ’s words: If people can be firm in what they think in their hearts, don’t compare, don’t blindly follow, don’t be influenced by others, and focus on living their own little lives, they will be much happier.
It's like long-distance running. Everyone has his own rhythm, but the pace is different. In the end, we will all reach the end.
Some people choose to run fast at the beginning, and some people choose to run slowly until the end. Sprint, and some people run the entire race at a constant speed.
We don’t need to rush to compare speed with others, nor do we need to envy others’ achievements. Only by finding our own rhythm can we reach the end of the road in life.
There is an impressive point in the book "How to avoid anxiety ":
"Anxiety is like the flu and can happen at any time. ”
Most of the time, what we are anxious about is not the thing itself, but the understanding of the thing. Stepping over the past is the only way out.
Forced savings, only with money in the card can we live with peace of mind and move forward calmly;
Only by deepening our ability and improving our structure can we achieve steady and long-term progress, which is irreplaceable;
If we give up comparison and keep to the rhythm, we can stabilize our emotions and wait for the flowers to bloom.
May we continue to practice, strengthen our hearts, and relax. Feel life, take your time, and encounter a better tomorrow.
About the author: Zhixu, the columnist of Fushu, a member of Fuxiaoshu, explore the meaning of life with words with you , this article: Fu Xiaoshu, your best friend, the book "Good Life" is now on sale. The copyright of this article belongs to Fu Shu. No reproduction is allowed without authorization. Any infringement will be prosecuted.
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