I feel sad when I see a woman in this life.
A lot of mothers, housewives, or professional women I consulted with have signed up for psychology.
Everyone has an expectation hidden in their minds. When I learn to interpret my psychology, I can change that man.
The result has been completed?
Every time I come to consult, it’s like this: How was my husband doing today? I know it’s because his original family lacks love and attention, but I learned too lightly. I can't heal him now, he still hasn't changed...
! ! ! !
Chen Haixian, a famous doctor of psychology, told a joke.
A writer wrote a book called "How to change your wife". How to change your wife? This book is particularly popular and sold hundreds of thousands of copies in just a few weeks.
Later, when the writer read the book, it was bad, it printed the wrong print, and the title was written incorrectly. It was not How to change your wife, but "How to change your life", how to change your life.
So I quickly contacted the publishing house and changed the title of the book.
As a result, the title of the book was changed back, but sales volume fell sharply, and only a few books were sold in a few months.
So, in close relationships, everyone is keen to change others and does not want to change themselves.
has no attraction to changing yourself.
So many people study psychology and want to do it. Change another person. Gradually, they learn more and more and more before they realize that it is impossible. Let alone change others, they can’t even change themselves.
The most important thing for couples to get along with is not to change the other person to what you expect, but to write down your rules and standards.
is within the standard, you can no longer find any reason for the other party.
Especially if you don’t study psychology for a few days, everything is said to be his childhood trauma.
I have been so tired lately. I always hear some sisters say, "My husband and my boyfriend's childhood are so miserable."
He abused me because his father abused him...
Whenever this happens, I want to shout in my heart, stop! ! ! !
Don't make reasons for his shit behavior.
No matter how miserable his childhood was, it was not a reason to treat you badly.
The reason why he treats you like this is because of your permission.
When you feel that the other party is stepping on your bottom line, when you feel disrespectful. The first thing you want to say is not! What you should do is resist, and, leave.
If you continue, and you choose to continue without paying any price, the message you pass to the other party is: You can treat me like that.
At worst, I just cried a few times, and I just cursed angrily.
How people treat us has always been based on our standards.
In close relationships, you must not make excuses for others' bad behavior.
Their childhood and their original family are their responsibilities.
A mature, adult man, they need to organize themselves, or seek help or experience it.
In short, it is their responsibility to turn yourself into a complete self and then enter marriage.
His reason can only be to let us know, but not an excuse to forgive us. Because trauma was not caused by us, there is no reason to bear the sequelae of his trauma.
Once you find that the other party is perfunctory, lie, cold and violent, and has different values, choose to leave and don’t hesitate.
Give up the Virgin Heart advocated by your parents and those around you, protect yourself, set boundaries, demand respect and love yourself.
