Recently, a news story is heartbreaking: young dancer and national first-class actor Wang Di died unexpectedly. He is 44 years old this year and has collaborated with Yang Liping " The Spirit of Bird ". It is suspected that depression caused an accident of falling from the building.
Depression is one of the most common mental disorders in the 21st century, and patients are uncontrollably wrapped in a sad or manic mood. Tragedy can occur when they cannot overcome their emotions.
Emotions themselves are rich and colorful. A person’s life is always surrounded by emotions. Good emotions add positive colors to our lives, while bad emotions will bring bad trauma to our lives. So how should we deal with bad emotions?
There is a book called "I Overcome Bad Emotions". The author of the book is Monica Briron, Canada. She is a Ph.D. in psychology. For nearly 40 years, she has been committed to psychological therapy and training for psychological counselors in children and adults.
In this book, the author uses professional knowledge and plain language, combined with people's daily lives, to tell us what positive emotions are, what negative emotions are, and how to heal bad emotions through positive thinking and mental operation.
1. Positive emotions and negative emotions
The so-called positive emotions refer to emotions that are responsible for maintaining a good state of body and mind, such as: happiness, hope, love, recognition, forgiveness, gratitude, etc. It is an emotion that can make people feel comfortable;
And negative emotions are emotions that bring pressure to people, such as fear, sadness, shame, anger, etc. It is an emotion that makes people unhappy.
However, even positive emotions, if they exceed a certain level, will bring stress. Some may even feel extremely nervous after great happiness, arrhythmia or excessive ecstasy lead to mania.
Excessive sadness in negative emotions can lead to depression, and in extreme cases, emotions can also cause mental disorders.
Therefore, we cannot judge the quality of emotions based on negative emotions and positive emotions. Spontaneous emotions are not good or bad, because they come with a purpose.
Positive emotions and negative emotions are actually a kind of balance. When the balance is broken, the original emotions become bad emotions. Bad emotions are not good for people’s physical and mental health, so how should we overcome bad emotions?
First of all, you need to have positive thinking.
2. Positive thinking:
In daily life, we will find that a person's dominant thinking can reflect his emotional state, and emotional state will affect his way of responding to the world.
For example, if he firmly believes that he will not succeed, he will hesitate before taking action. Suspicion and fear make him more likely to make mistakes and fail.
On the contrary, a confident and firm person will move forward without hesitation, keep working hard and keep achieving success.
For example, a sentimental person always stares at the negative side of things, feels that life has no hope and what you do is useless. Then he would go through a series of things that further confirmed his negative thoughts.
On the contrary, an optimistic person can discover the beautiful side of life at any time, and everything that happens to him also continues these beautiful things.
Positive thinking means that we think about the right things and give positive self-suggestions. Especially, having positive thinking about the things we actively pursue will awaken our imagination and let a lot of pain and discomfort in life disappear.
Of course, there are both happiness and happiness on the road of life, as well as setbacks, bumps and pain. Another way to deal with painful emotions is to develop mental operations.
3. Mental operation
Mental operation can truly change our internal physiological state, stimulate new emotions, and replace negative emotions. Its specific working methods are as follows:
1. Reflection
Reflection refers to when emotions arise, we take a step back and objectively analyze all the factors that cause emotions.
For example, when you receive a task, you may feel angry because you feel that you can't do it.At this time, he could first think about what caused this feeling of anger and powerlessness.
analysis can help you find the root cause of the problem and find solutions to the problem. For example, you can report the situation to your leader, adjust the work content, or see what resources can help you complete the tasks.
feels that it can not only guide us to analyze problems, but also help us solve problems.
Through reflection, reason will prevail, and we will be more inclined to solve problems through thinking. During the reflection process, the left brain will process the information sent by the right brain while directing us to work.
2, aware of
Even if we are reflecting, sometimes objective and rational analysis cannot calm us down.
In the above example, if you realize that you are angry so aggressive that it is not proportional to the severity of the incident, you can further promote the mental operation process through awareness.
For example, by perceiving your thoughts and feelings, you may find that you feel angry because you lose control.
Then why do you need a sense of control so much?
noticed it again, and found that this is because you want to make up for inferiority by proving that you are better than others.
The idea that I am not as perfect as others imagine makes me feel disappointed, and anger is protecting myself from the discomfort brought by disappointment.
Once you understand this, you will have more practical expectations for yourself and forgive and accept your imperfections.
When you are more tolerant of yourself, your anger is not so strong.
Through awareness, you will also find that the feeling of powerlessness also makes you feel uncomfortable, and anger is to reduce this feeling of powerlessness.
Why does the feeling of powerlessness make me feel so painful? Because when I was a child, that little self could not comfort the unhappy parents, which caused a sense of shame.
awareness can help us discover the similarities between what we are experiencing and past events, and find that the current emotions are inappropriate to a degree. Analyzing the connection between events can also allow us to look at the present more objectively and reduce overreaction behavior. The purpose of
awareness is to deepen your understanding of yourself.
Awareness and reflection are different. Although both of them take into account emotional considerations, reflection analyzes external factors of the problem.
and awareness is the individual consciously focusing on behavior and external internal driving force.
When conscious, although the individual's thinking is also active, the amount of activity is much less than reflection. The individual's left brain still controls everything, but it is more about processing information from the right brain.
Although awareness can help us understand some seemingly inexplicable reactions, it does not necessarily greatly change spontaneous emotional reactions. Other methods are needed, such as meditation.
3, meditation
meditation makes people clear the mind, restore inner stability, and achieve deep calm. Its impact on stress and physiological manifestations has been scientifically proven and will allow you to overcome pain.
meditation has two forms. One is closed meditation.
phase, that is, one focuses on an object, such as candle flame, sound or one's own sucking, while ignoring other senses;
The other is open meditation. Individuals allow feelings, emotions or thoughts to flow freely without giving them special attention.
Both types of meditation are to calm the individual's inner self, thereby changing the state of consciousness, making it a pure consciousness that does not exist in thinking, and makes the individual's heart empty.
Deep relaxation is not to help individuals recover their already damaged mental functions, but to try to promote the flow of information between the mind and the body, which is necessary to exert creativity and organizational thinking ability.
If meditation can be completed under the guidance of a professional, it will be more effective.
"I Overcame Bad Emotions" is a psychological healing book. It tells us that when facing bad emotions, there is no need to be too entangled and painful. It is better to overcome them than to escape. If you want to understand your own emotions, deal with them freely, and gain physical and mental health, you might as well read this book.
