It is estimated that many young parents have similar experiences. On the first day of their children entering the kindergarten, they really feel bad. Seeing their children staying in school, they are absent-minded and restless. The first day of entering the kindergarten makes many parents feel deeply anxious.
This is a typical separation anxiety caused by children going to kindergarten. When the child grows up, he will leave his family and walk into society and campus. The growth of a child means separation for parents, and separation from the family and separation from parents are an important step in growth. If we cannot deal with the anxiety and various worries and fears caused by separation in time, it will subtly affect the children's adaptation to school, resulting in the entire learning and growth process, because this is his first step into society and the starting point for his independent study and life.
When you enter the kindergarten,
Generally speaking, the previous week is the most difficult, but you can see the children's daily progress. In about a week, your baby can participate in activities normally. Although you still miss your mother when you come to the kindergarten in the morning or before going to bed at lunch. In about two to three weeks, most children can adapt to kindergarten life.
Parents adjust their mentality and relax
Parents must first adjust their mentality: believe in kindergartens and teachers. Instead of worrying whether the child cannot sleep well or eat well, such anxiety will be passed on to the child and make the child fear the kindergarten.
Gentle and firm
Once you decide to send your child to kindergarten, the attitude of parents should be gentle and firm: Mom loves you very much, but you have to go to kindergarten. In the early stage, you can take your child to familiarize yourself with the kindergarten environment and read the kindergarten-related picture books. On the day you enter the kindergarten, you can bring familiar items to the child: photos or plush toys. You can also promise the child to pick him up in advance in the first week and give him a hug. But don’t let your child go to kindergarten because of his crying. Especially those raised by ancestors, the child is reluctant to let go of his child when he cries, and then asks for leave. After two days, he cries again, which is not conducive to adapting to the kindergarten. Also, don't sneak away, don't coax the child.
Understand the child's situation in the kindergarten in the correct way
When the child enters the kindergarten, parents can ask questions to the teacher or check the kindergarten's home contact book. The kindergarten will also take the initiative to explain the child's situation to the parents, but it is best for parents not to ask questions immediately as soon as they see the child, which seems particularly anxious. There was a child who adapted slowly than ordinary children. Later, when he chatted with his parents, he realized that the child’s grandmother was very worried. Every day when the child returned home, the mother would call the grandmother in front of the child to report whether the child had cried today and whether he looked depressed. Parents are so nervous that they are facing a great enemy of kindergartens. This anxiety of parents will of course be transmitted to their children, further causing their children's tension.
Make your child firmly believe that going to kindergarten is his responsibility
When the child cries at home and doesn't want to go to kindergarten, if you are sure that this is just a reaction that the child is not adapted to, you can take it calmly. During the admission period, mothers can spend more time with their children and have more physical contact and comfort with them, but they must not coax the children casually and say, "Okay, okay, we won't go to kindergarten tomorrow." Mothers can briefly explain to their children: "Baby is growing up, it's time to go to kindergarten, just like mom going to work." Then divert the child's attention and no longer discuss the issue of going to kindergarten, nor do they delve into it in depth. Such an attitude will make the child realize that the mother's determination cannot be changed by crying. This way of handling can shorten the time for children to cry and reduce the pain for adults and children.
Establish an intimate relationship with the teacher and peers
Parents can tell the teacher in advance what their children like. If some children like reading, the teacher can calm down by telling stories with her. If you know friends enter the kindergarten together, it can also help relieve anxiety about entering the kindergarten. Under the comfort of the teacher, there are fresh activities to attract children. Once the child establishes an attachment relationship with the teacher and has new friends, the child can quickly adapt to kindergarten life.
Anxiety symptoms in the school are coping with
1. Severe crying
Every day when I come to the school, I cry and make a fuss when I hold my mother hard and don’t let go. After entering the classroom, I lie on the ground, kicking and kicking the teacher who came to help him.
This type of child is most common in the early stages of entering the kindergarten. Generally, crying lasts for a long time, and the longest one takes about three weeks to gradually adapt.
Parental countermeasures
Eliminate negative mentality, insist on sending children to the kindergarten, communicate more with teachers, and understand the children's situation in the kindergarten.
Pay attention to language orientation when communicating with children.
Don’t ask some questions with negative hints, such as
“Did any kid hit you?”
“Did you cry today?”
“Can you eat in kindergarten?”
…
This will strengthen the child’s separation anxiety.
should pay attention to guiding the children from the front, such as:
"You got a little five-star today, which is great!"
"You are playing the slide with your children today, and you are very happy, and you can still play tomorrow!"
to help children build relationships with teachers and children.
2. Follow the crying type
Although the child came to the kindergarten, he did not cry. As soon as I arrived at the door of the classroom, I heard other children crying, and immediately started crying.
Generally speaking, this type of child is more obedient at home, so even if he is not very willing to come to kindergarten, he still comes obediently. But as soon as he heard other children crying, it immediately resonated and he started crying. This type of child is generally adapting quickly. As long as there are no crying children next to him and have novel toys, they can divert their attention.
Parental countermeasures
Communicate with the teacher and ask the teacher to play the role of the mother so that the child can feel as normal as the mother is around him, and eliminate the child's anxiety.
When leaving the kindergarten every day, I deliberately guide the children to play with cheerful and lively children, and use the positive factors of my peers to infect and motivate them.
3. Nagging
. Children don’t cry or make noise when they come to the garden. They sit quietly on the small chair, but they don’t choose toys and don’t play with the children. Every one or two minutes, he would nag to himself: "When will mom come to pick me up?" Sometimes he would pull the child next to him and say, "Stop crying, mom will come later." After a day, he would always repeat these sentences countless times. Children like
are generally introverted and obedient, but they do not feel close to kindergarten, so they always look forward to going home early. As long as your home and school are properly coordinated, you can adapt to the kindergarten in one week.
Parent countermeasures
At the beginning of the kindergarten, parents try to pick up and drop off their children on time every day, so that their children can accept and get used to the kindergarten's daily routine, and at the same time they also trust their parents.
After receiving it, he played with him for a while, so that he felt that his parents still cared for him.
Encourage and praise the positive changes of the child, so that he can feel that he can gain a kind of confidence and happiness that he cannot obtain at home in kindergarten.
4
physical discomfort
After entering the kindergarten, children often have headaches or stomachaches, and they also urinate their pants every day, but the symptoms disappear immediately as soon as they get home. Children like
often have some of their own living habits before entering the kindergarten. Once their behavior is restricted, they will feel nervous and uncomfortable, and psychological anxiety will cause physiological reactions to a certain extent. When I got home, my psychological anxiety disappeared, my physiological discomfort immediately stopped.
Parental countermeasures
Don’t worry or blame the child. First, you must determine whether it is caused by physiological or psychological reasons, and then think of corresponding solutions.
communicate frequently with the teacher to give the child enough comfort so that he can accept some rules in the kindergarten.
cannot make the child think that "as long as I say I feel uncomfortable, I can go home."
5
Contradictory
The child was very happy when he came to the kindergarten, but after his family left, he hid in the corner and cried secretly. One day, the child was sick and couldn't come to kindergarten, but he cried and made a fuss at home and insisted on coming to kindergarten. Children like
are very strange in their performance, which reflects their contradictory psychology. On the one hand, I am interested in the fresh environment of kindergarten, but on the other hand, I cannot stand leaving home. This contradictory psychology will make it difficult for them to control their emotions and appear capricious. This type of young children overcomes anxiety for a long time, usually lasting for three weeks or more.
Parent countermeasures
Do work to stabilize children's emotions in advance, divert his attention with topics of interest to fade away separation anxiety.
Take the initiative to chat with your children every day and express great interest in kindergarten life, so that the children can feel the parents' attention and appreciation for him.
Don’t blame the child when he loses his temper, and give him the opportunity to vent his temper.
6
hunger strike type
The child looks very weak and doesn't like to talk. Every day when he comes to the garden, he sits aside and crys, and ignores anyone, and doesn't eat when he eats. I almost had a "hunger strike" for nearly a month. Children like
look very individual. They often use "extreme" means to achieve their goals at home. They will "repeat the same trick" in kindergartens and use "hunger strikes" to "protest", hoping to leave the kindergarten as soon as possible and go home. This type of young children is the most worrying type of "separation anxiety" among parents. It is difficult to adapt and it takes about a month.
Parental countermeasures
Step by step, you can negotiate with the teacher whether you can take the child home for dinner first, and then send it back.
Please ask the teacher to deliberately arrange for him to play with cheerful and lively children, and use positive factors to infect and drive him.
insists on sending kindergartens every day without wavering. Parents should not give up just because their children have taken "extreme" behaviors, and give them off intermittently and not, which will only extend the time for children to adapt.
After entering the kindergarten
When entering the kindergarten
1) Overall, it is a positive, specific, affirmative language, such as:
"The baby was able to eat by himself in kindergarten yesterday, which was very good, and today it must be possible";
"Mom will definitely come to pick you up at the earliest after school";
2) There is no command, negative, and intimidating language, such as:
"You have to listen to the teacher and study hard";
2) You can't fight with children";
"If you are disobedient, your mother won't come to pick you up!"
3) If the child is resistant, reason well,
" Mom is going to work so that she can buy delicious food for her baby."
" Baby played with XX in kindergarten yesterday, let's go to play with him today."
Don't make up the facts to comfort the child: the mother has been waiting outside the kindergarten gate, very close to the baby, and comes in to pick up the baby when school is over. This illogical explanation cannot comfort the child, and it will also make the child even more puzzled about why he goes to kindergarten. He cannot play with other children in the classroom and think about coming out to find his mother.
When I left the kindergarten
1) Tell me encouraged, affirmative, and positive language, such as:
1: The baby didn't wet his pants all day today, he looked like a big child!"
2) Don't talk about negative, negative, and critical language, such as:
"Did the teacher hit you? Did the classmates bully you?"
3) Find more specific topics that children can easily answer, and focus on the details of their kindergarten life, and ask less broad questions:
What have you done in kindergarten today? For such problems, young children usually show a confused expression. It is recommended to focus on specific details. It is recommended to use "guess" to start the topic and use positive words to describe the content. For example: Let mom guess, you have done a lot of interesting work today, right? Talk about children’s friends, new friends they make, etc. For example: Baby, I found that there was a child who seemed to like you very much. He came over and held hands with you. What is his name?
