text/Yan Jingyi He Jin
Bipolar disorder also known as bipolar disorder. People with this disease may fall into an emotional "roller coaster" from time to time. The inner pain is "like people drinking water, they know their own warmth". Their risks of self-harm and suicide are far greater than those of ordinary people. From the well-known Van Gogh and Monroe, to Hemingway , Churchill ... Bipolar disorder seems to prefer geniuses, so it is also called "genius disease".
Epidemiological data show that bipolar disorder is mostly high in young people aged 15 to 19, and has the characteristics of high recurrence and high disability rate. The average time from the first onset to the diagnosis is 8 to 10 years, and nearly 40% of the patients were misdiagnosed as depression. For adolescent patients with bipolar disorder, if they take antidepressant medications for a long time and do not have regular outpatient clinics, it is likely to induce mood swings, which will cause circulating attacks, which will aggravate the condition.
The following is a mental journey shared by a bipolar patient, covering the inducible events, treatment process, how patients seek help, and the process of gradual rehabilitation and treatment of
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My first medical treatment route
In the winter of 2019, I studied at a 985 university in the south. My grades were among the best in every semester and I received scholarships every year. I was fulfilled and busy. While internship in the unit you like, he was preparing for his graduation thesis. Although such a life is a bit hard, it is also quite interesting.
The cold wind in winter is getting colder and the weather is getting colder and colder. I feel my head getting heavier and heavier. At first, I suspected that I had bet too much energy on the paper and couldn't wait to make achievements under the wonderful topics of the tutor, so it was difficult for me to continue to be competent for the internship. At the same time, the three or four hours drive from school to internship unit every day also made me feel more and more exhausted. So, I asked the internship unit to end the internship early. I suddenly asked to resign. I felt guilty about the internship unit. Later, I found a formal job and wrote a letter of recommendation. I was embarrassed to contact them and asked them for help.
However, my condition did not improve because of the end of the internship. The weather became even colder, and I felt like a large part of my heart was frozen. The thick ice was pressing heavily on me like pig iron, making it difficult to breathe. A few days later, I began to feel that my vitality has recovered. I was excited, spoke very quickly, had a lot of energy, and had a quick mind. However, if I don’t like it, I will easily get angry and become impulsive. The good times didn't last long, and then I started having nightmares. In the dream, I was killing myself, as if one of them was killing the other. The nightmare was repeated for one day or two days... By the fifth day, I felt that I couldn't hold on anymore and I needed to ask for help.
I started talking to my mother on the phone every day. A few days ago, I told her that my condition was not good recently; later I told her that my condition was not only bad, but also worse than before; then I told her that I saw an introduction to "Biopolar Disorder" on a psychologically related official account. Combined with my childhood experience, I think I may have bipolar Disorder.
Thanks very much to my mom, she is strong enough when I need her. She found Professor Liu Huaqing from the team of experts in Beijing Huilongguan Hospital children and adolescent psychological disorders. Professor Liu looks like an experienced, wise and willing to listen. I think he can always take over me and always pay attention to what I said to him with a very open attitude. Moreover, his attitude makes people feel that he is not only valued, but is also fully accepted. For example, while waiting, I ate half a bowl of peppermint candies in the waiting room, and my mother, who was with me, immediately collapsed when she saw this. She felt that her child had reached a point where he was out of control, but Professor Liu didn't think so. He put the mint matter aside, continued to focus on what I said, checking some details with me. ——Eating so much sugar is indeed an abnormal behavior, but Professor Liu’s ability to take on these makes me feel that I am not an alien here and I can be accepted.
After the diagnosis of bipolar disorder, I started to receive treatment.This time, the medical treatment was very timely, which prevented my condition from deteriorating further, but also left two regrets: First, the side effects of one of the drugs brought to me were very obvious, and I failed to take the medicine on time and in doses, which led to the subsequent manic attack; Second, although Professor Liu is an expert in the field of psychological disorders in children and adolescents, I myself did not know how to discuss my psychological problems, so I only performed simple drug treatment without auxiliary psychological treatment. These regrets have led to subsequent recurrence of the disease.
experiencing the dawn after relapse
When I consulted Professor Liu for medical treatment for the second time, I had already suspended my work and recuperated at home due to the onset of bipolar disorder, and looked forward to returning to work after a "more thorough recovery". However, there are unexpected situations in the world, and under the lockdown of the epidemic, my path to recovery has also been affected. The doctors who follow up regularly stopped their consultations repeatedly, and we were unable to contact us for a while. In desperation, I took the liberty to ask Professor Liu for help again through the Internet. Professor Liu is still so kind and tolerant. He asked about my current medical treatment, medication, daily life and work conditions, and praised me for my "good thinking ability" and "very good analysis and summary". He squeezed out time to guide me through online email that night. He thought my self-exploration ability was very good, and suggested that I receive long-term psychotherapy and enthusiastically recommended a psychotherapist.
Indeed, in the days after the diagnosis, my treatment was always mainly based on drug treatment, and there was a lack of auxiliary treatment for psychological treatment. There are many related factors. For example, I went to Europe to study for further studies a few months after the diagnosis. There was a time difference with the domestic consultants, and there were cultural differences and language barriers with the local consultants. After returning to China, the effect of drug treatment was very good most of the time, and I also received many opportunities for promotion and salary increase in my unit. I thought it would be enough to continue treatment like this...
While receiving drug treatment, I could clearly feel that my state was stable. At the same time, regular communication with the therapist also made me gradually open my heart. Although it was difficult to hide my tears when talking to the therapist about my childhood experience, I was finally willing to say this experience instead of just enduring it alone. My childhood has passed and I cannot be pursued. I have no ability to change my childhood experience, but how to live with this not-so-good experience and how to live better with this experience is something I can do. Thanks to my therapist for accompanying me on this journey.
Experiences and experiences to share
Combined with the mental journey of seeking medical treatment in recent years, I share the following experiences for friends who have similar situations. I hope it will help everyone recover as soon as possible:
is not shameful to be sick, nor does it mean despair or failure. Anyone may suffer from Waterloo in life, and anyone may suffer from illness. After the diagnosis, I can still win honors such as outstanding graduates in Beijing, high scores in professional qualification exams, and Winning Awards and for my efforts, and successfully completed overseas studies and became an introduced talent. Therefore, you must have confidence in your life and continue to pursue the beautiful things in your life.
Don’t take care of everything yourself. You must learn to ask for help. Never think it is shameful to seek help. I have strong learning and investigation skills. My family has long been used to having problems and asked me to check what to do by myself. But when I start to be troubled by depression, letting me check what to do by myself will only greatly increase my stress and aggravate my condition. Thank you mom, thank you Professor Liu and other medical workers, thank you psychotherapists, who have weaved a powerful protection network for me without hesitation.
Psychotherapy can be late, but don't be absent. Drugs can control emotions and make them relatively stable. But to reduce recurrence in long-term recovery, psychotherapy, including home treatment, is essential.
My first medical treatment was correct, that is, "I am sure it was a problem left over from childhood that led to the current disease." Thinking patterns, emotions and behavior patterns in adulthood are largely laid in childhood, and the iceberg will always emerge one day.In addition, some of the top children's hospitals abroad have the age range from birth to 21 years old, which far exceeds the meaning of the word "child" in the Chinese context. In other words, teenagers aged 15 or 16 and older may have some rejection of the word "child", but when mental disorders occur, they need children's psychiatry more.
works together to cooperate with doctor-patient relationship
After the above patient self-report process, we know that a good doctor-patient relationship is actually a cooperative relationship, where patients empower doctors and doctors empower patients. Patients with bipolar disorder usually have a period of depression when seeking medical treatment, which is very similar to a mere depression attack. At this time, if the symptoms of mania have not yet been shown, it is particularly easy to be misdiagnosed. According to previous data, it takes about 8 to 10 years from the onset of bipolar disorder to the diagnosis. If the family can observe that the patient has potential bipolar disorder, seek medical treatment as soon as possible, which will relieve the patient's pain earlier.
You may have noticed that the patient only mentioned his mother during the diagnosis and treatment process, and rarely mentioned his father. For this patient, while treating drugs, we should pay attention to the adjustment of family structure and family relationships, and pay special attention to enhancing the function of the father. As Hong Kong writer Liang Fengyi said: "When you are afraid, your father is a stepping stone; when you are dark, your father is a light to illuminate; when you are exhausted, your father is a bay of life; when you are hard, your father is a spiritual pillar; when you are successful, your father is an encouragement and alarm bell."
To sum up, for the treatment of bipolar disorder, it is a systematic project:
First of all, the maintenance of the patient's biological rhythm is very important. Children and adolescents will definitely experience emotional changes during the development process, but bipolar disorder can lead to abnormal difficulties in emotional management. Therefore, if the child is suspected to have bipolar disorder, it is imperative to find an experienced child bipolar disorder expert and accurately assess the condition.
The treatment of bipolar disorder includes emotional stability drugs. Parents are worried about the long-term effects of psychiatric drugs. Many parents are understandable for fear that the drugs will have an impact on their children's brain function. But research shows that proper care for bipolar disorder can actually protect the brain from the destructive effects of bipolar mood swings, allowing children to maintain basic social functions.
Because bipolar is hereditary, it is not anyone’s fault to suffer from bipolar disorder. However, good care and attention to the disease can save and improve patient life while improving the quality of relationships within the family. In addition to family and friends, more people in the whole society come to care for, understand and love such patients, so that they can feel goodwill and accept and be embraced in the big family of society, which can promote their recovery faster.
