In the previous article "Autistic children do not listen to instructions? Code these 9 improvement methods quickly!", we learned how to conduct targeted intervention training when children do not listen to instructions.
So what is the root cause of the problem of children not following instructions? Why are they always disobedient? In addition to the children's own problems, parents' wrong instructions are also the key to the problem.
Avoid these misunderstandings, and the child will listen to you more!
1 Why do children always "disobedient"?
1. Adults hinder children from exploring the world
Children are curious. They have never come into contact with many things. When they see new things, they will touch, touch, smell, and play with them. In fact, they are passing the information obtained from the senses to the brain through these activities, thus developing a certain understanding of these things that they have never seen before.
But from an adult's perspective, children's movements are often unsafe, so parents of often block some of their children's behaviors, which creates the command .
The child’s own behavior is supported by the desire to understand, but he does not do it by following the instructions of his parents without any natural motivation. So between the two, children will naturally choose to do what they want, which has become what parents often call "disobedient" behavior .
What should parents do in this case?
In the teaching process, we emphasize more on what children should do, rather than not doing what they should do. For example, when a child plays with a socket, we cannot say, "Don't play with this", we can say, "Go away from that thing." Children may stuff some small stones into their nostrils, and we often stop them from saying, "Don't stuff things into their nostrils", so we can tell them, "You can take this thing to play with."
2. Learning by following instructions will make children feel difficult
The learning process is actually a process of obeying instructions, but the content of learning is often content that children don’t know yet, so children will find it difficult and want to escape, “disobedient” The behavior happens naturally.
At this time, if parents do not insist on letting their children "obey (do tasks)" in order to avoid their children's behavior problems, disobedient behavior will be strengthened.
3. "Observant" behavior is difficult to obtain natural reinforcement
For example, . We ask ordinary children to wash their hands, and they will know that they can eat delicious food after washing their hands. This is a natural reinforcement . However, children with autism have to spend a lot of effort to complete the washing hands and , and washing hands and eating delicious food cannot be associated with each other, so this lacks such natural reinforcement, so it will be difficult for children to follow us. instruction.
We can strengthen children by making visual prompts, such as: establishing a connection between card display, washing hands and eating.
4, "Look at the dish"
At the beginning, the instructions issued by the parents did not make the children execute. Later, the children will find that they can do whatever they want to do, so they will choose not to listen to the instructions. .
When a child comes into contact with a teacher, the teacher usually strictly requires the child to complete the instructions. When the child finds that his "tactics" in his parents in the past are not very useful, he usually chooses to follow the teacher's instructions. Therefore, children can also "see the dishes", which is why children do not listen to parents but listen to the teacher's instructions .
One day, parents suddenly realize that this cannot continue, but the long-term accumulated strengthening history is difficult to change. And many times, when a child cries, parents will easily give up.
In this case, parents must first be determined to change. After issuing instructions, children must complete them. Assist them at appropriate times, and reward and strengthen in a timely manner after completion.
2 What are the common misunderstandings when issuing instructions?
There are still many misunderstandings when parents send instructions.
1. Repeat commands (null instructions, changing instructions)
This is a common misunderstanding.
For example, after class, the child is playing on the lawn in the playground. When the parent calls the child home, he will say, "Come here, come here, come home, come here quickly, we are leaving." But the parent shouts over and over again, but the child will say, Will not respond to parents.
So, these instructions issued by parents constantly repeating are called short instructions .
Another one is the changing command .
is still the example just now. Parents may say at the beginning: "Come here, we are leaving after school." But the child did not listen for the first time. The parent meeting continued: "The class has been over, the teacher is going to pack up and leave, we are going to go back "The parents will explain to their children that although the same is expressed, the instructions issued are changing. The information the child hears is different every time, and he does not understand which instructions the parents give. Instructions like
refer to changing instructions.
2. Sentences are too long and too complicated (not in line with the child's proximal development area)
Sometimes, parents will overestimate their children's abilities, and the instructions issued do not conform to their children's current abilities.
For example, parents say to their children, "Please help me get the red cup on the table", but at this time the child cannot tell where the table is and what red is. Perhaps they have not mastered their nouns yet, so we started to join. Modifiers and prepositions. , then this instruction is more complicated and does not conform to the child's proximal development zone .
If the instructions we issue are outside the child's ability, he will have no way to execute the instructions.
3. More verbal assistance than physical assistance
When we find that our child cannot execute instructions, parents will assist him.
For example, if a parent asks his child to help put the cup on the table, but the child does not do it, the parent will provide assistance at this time and add some modified words, such as saying to the child, "Help me put the cup on the white cabinet on the left." ”.
In fact, this is a situation we often see. When the person receiving the instruction cannot find something, we can describe the auxiliary in detail. However, this premise is that we can execute these language information, so it can become our auxiliary.
But for the child, parents have added a lot of modifications, which is difficult for him to understand. Therefore, this is not an auxiliary for the child, but a kind of other interference that prevents the child from grasping the key points.
In fact, this situation is that there is more verbal assistance than physical assistance, which means that there is insufficient physical assistance. We can just hold the child's hand and put the cup on the table, which is an appropriate assistance for him.
4. If you don’t strengthen it in time,
When parents ask their children to do something, when they finish doing it, many parents don’t strengthen it in time, and sometimes they don’t even praise it.
For example: Sometimes children call dad, parents usually just simply agree. However, autistic children cannot integrate into such natural conversations. It is not just a simple agreement that the children will be very happy. Parents can say slightly exaggeratedly: "Dad loves you", "Come here and let me hug you", "You asked me to eat something delicious", etc. We need to strengthen the children more effectively, because some simple behaviors cannot be strengthened to the children's .
Or, when we want to take the child out to play, they will wear shoes. For ordinary children, activities after going out are a reward and do not require additional reinforcement. But for autistic children, they need to strengthen them in time after they put on their shoes, and every instruction they execute needs to be strengthened. Only when is strengthened and done in time can the child develop a habit and better execute the next command .
5. Inappropriately call the child’s name
Many parents often call the child’s name, which is also a common misunderstanding.
It is not that you can’t call it, but that every time parents call their children, they often need him to do something or scold him.For example, "Xiaohao, why did you get your clothes dirty?" "Xiaohao, why do you want to play in water?" "Xiaohao, please help me get a bowl!" and so on.
In fact, in the early days, many teachers also made such mistakes, which were to use names to gain children's attention. As a result, the children found that every time I followed you, I always asked me to do things.
This is like when we are in class, the teacher may ask us to answer the question as soon as he calls me, so we don’t want to be called. Autistic children will also have the same mood, or they will directly choose to ignore them next time. Therefore, it is inappropriate to always associate the name when we issue instructions.
Then under what circumstances can we call it?
can first be called when something is good, and then we will add some neutral commands to in , such as handshake, hug, etc. In other words, don’t call the child by name every time he asks him to do things, or asks him to do things, just call him first to get his attention.
6. Test your children frequently
Children have recently learned to say "Good auntie". In order to show off their children's progress, some parents will frequently let their children show their newly learned skills to others. In the end, when the child kept saying "Auntie, bye", his eyes had already run away.
When a child with autism finally masters a new skill, parents often let him show off in life. The child will eventually get bored and then stop doing it.
Showing out your child’s progress to others, or always testing your child to remember this skill, is also one of the common misunderstandings of parents . The new skills children learn can be used to generalize in life, but don’t overdo it, and do it under appropriate circumstances.
When we pay attention to and master the details of these instructions, children will be more willing to listen to our instructions, and we can all become "magnificent" parents!
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