Reader Question: Hello General, my cousin will rise to the second second, since the junior high school, it has been living in school. It is independent, cheerful, versatile, and has a good relationship with parents.
will arrange psychological evaluation after high school. As a result, there is a mild depression tendency. The class teacher in the high school class repeatedly asked her mother to talk, and felt that she had depression . But I didn't dare to mention it. I said, "Every time I want to eat with her, I drink and drink it. Whenever I am with the school and her own problems, my sister is bursting, so I cry and roar."
cousin feels that they don't understand. After I caught the side and asked her depression, she smiled and did not continue the topic.
I know my sister's life:
1, classmates: can talk with anyone, each meeting will take the initiative to say something interesting between my classmates;
2. In terms of love: she made a boyfriend in the first year of high school, She said that the main task at present is learning, and she did not want to love in love;
3. In terms of learning: I have asked her a few times or what difficulties in their studies. In the art test, I took her to listen to the lesson, but she felt that she couldn't persist;
4, life: I and she belongs to people who do not have a strong family belonging. She wants to leave her hometown in the future. I just want to know what is living in other places, but her parents still want her to be with her. These are what I have talked about and she expressed.
I want to talk to her recently, but I do n’t know where to cut in. She can chat shallow now and talk a little deeper. I hope to know where her point is, is there really any difficulties and problems. I hope the general can give some ideas, thank you general.
General Cousin seems to have no problem. Even though psychological testing has a tendency to depressed, it is likely to be excessive and temporary emotional state.
I have a doubt about the "evaluation" of the class teacher. This is more like the Rosentear effect . The head teacher understands the psychological test as a psychological test. Judging her.
"I think she has depression" is also a bit irresponsible. First of all, she has no professional qualification. Feel "?
is just the opposite. A few places you mentioned, such as the cousin will take the initiative to tell you the interesting things in the school, as well as wanting to be in the arts, and falling in love, all show that she has expectations and goals in life and maintains interest. The characteristics of the opposite are the essence of depression is not unhappy, but lacking vitality.
is the one who does not want to talk about her studies and the so -called "her own problem", but you remember your student days, especially adolescence, whether you are unwilling to talk to people, annoying, this has nothing to do with depression.
is not proved to prove that the cousin is not depressed. In the specific situation, you must go to a professional clinical psychological clinic for a differential diagnosis. I just reminded that is like this. Gloomy The tendency, so I put on the color glasses unknowingly, do you think the cousin has a problem?
and when you have this "expected", you will want to "in -depth" communication technically, try The premise of communication has lost the foundation of the cousin's trust and being frank to you.
If you want to communicate because you care about her, rather than trying to find out if she has any problems through communication, then go talk to her. And you have to know that you have neither a foundation in psychology nor an education background, and your "discovery" may not be correct. It's better to calm down and just have a chat between two sisters.
If you want to know her more deeply, of course you have skills. Don’t always ask, how are you? Do you have difficulty studying? Are you happy? These problems will cause the cousin to be "vigilant", which means mobilizing her psychological defense mechanism .
The easier way to get her to open up is to start with your self-disclosure.
You can share with her your living conditions when you were her age. Even if you start with very superficial topics such as chasing stars and complaining about teachers, you can get closer and wait for her to feel that you are related to her. When communicating in the past, she may be willing to take the initiative to share her thoughts with you.
Please pay attention to my wording, is a matter of concern, not a problem. If you hold a hammer in your hand, it is easy to think that everything is a nail. Put down the hammer first, OK? #Focus on depression# #Psychology#
General Guo, Beijing Normal University Master of Psychology, National Level 2 Psychological Counselor , Han Han [ONE] Popular author, author of books "You are still a stranger to yourself", "The world prefers you who heal and enjoy yourself".
