Do you think psychology is only for treating illnesses? No, it can also tell people how to become a more complete person and how to face adversity in life; how to feel happiness and loneliness; how to accept the good and bad in life...
In life, we are familiar with modern psychology , psychiatry, etc. give us the impression that people with mental illness are treated more by focusing on physiological brainwaves , neurotransmitters, and restoration of diagnostic states.
However, the essence of human existence in real life is still that anxiety, pain, trouble and joy are intertwined and hidden together in our lives.
"Invitation to Existential Psychology" is a book about existentialism written by Bo Jacobson of Denmark and translated by Zheng Shiyan. The author cites many existential examples and explains how we should meet this specific challenge in life.
In existential psychology , it is not only used to diagnose mental illness, but also emphasizes the differences between humans and animals.
On page 2 of this book, the author tells us that existential psychology is also a branch of psychology. It studies how everyone deals with the so-called "big problems in life." So it captures the feeling of life itself, rather than classifying it into some systematic classification.
And I only gave three examples, let us take a look together.
1. Loneliness has always been a required course in life
Someone said: "There are three realms of loneliness. Mediocre people know loneliness. There is no way to get out of loneliness; those who are motivated are willing to be lonely and savor loneliness; those who are outstanding are brave enough to be lonely and transcend loneliness. "
Therefore, whether it is socially, physically, or mentally, modern people often feel lonely, and sometimes they are immersed in painful loneliness. middle.
In " Into the Dust " which I just finished watching recently, Ma Youtie and Cao Guiying, who were disliked by their families, finally got married and got together after being introduced by a matchmaker. This encounter made the two people who were originally lonely finally have something to rely on. But just when life was getting better, Guiying died.
After watching this movie, I can’t calm down for a long time. Although no one can accompany anyone to the end, loneliness is really painful, but people must endure loneliness in the end.
Life comes and goes, we get together and leave, life and death are all out of our hands, so loneliness has become the norm. So we also have to get used to loneliness, because loneliness is a required course in life.
1. Only by saying goodbye to death anxiety can you reconcile with death
Owen Yalom said: "No one can die for others." But death here is excepted in wars and accidents. But this does not mean that our death is taken away by others, because no one can remove death from others.
In the book, the author also tells us three theories of death anxiety. Among them, Kandelau's theory: "Death Anxiety and Death Desire" clearly states that both are components of modern people's relationship with death.
Because when faced with death, many people avoid death at all costs. We can also see a lot of attention to death in movies and news.
And Kandelau believes that we should not adopt a negative and condemning attitude towards this. In fact, death anxiety has many aspects: one person may worry about what will happen after death; another person may fear the pain of death; a third person may fear the separation caused by death, etc.
Then according to the differences between these death anxieties, Kandelau lists two main sources: the first is that the person's life may not be fully realized (i.e., the value of one's life is not realized). The second source is the predicament of modern man's insecurity. This kind of anxiety is more determined by a person's familiarity with the external environment.
From these two sources, if we realize the value of our own lives, we can avoid the anxiety caused by death. But eliminating the insecurity dilemma seems a bit difficult.
So at this time we have to learn to make peace with death. Because we all know that people will die one day, this is inevitable. Therefore, human life is a life facing death (that is, living toward death).
1. Find the meaning of life based on our values
Do you often hear people around you say why you are alive? And I will constantly reflect on the value of my life and think about what is most important.
Recently, a topic about the meaning of life with more than 20 million views was posted on Douyin : Since all life must die, then what is the meaning of life? Answers in the comments section varied. After the video ends, I tell people that the meaning of life is that when you have experienced frustration, despair, and loss, and see the truth of life clearly, you still love life, never give up on yourself, never stop, and make yourself better. strong!
Is our existence meaningful or meaningless? Does life have a purpose? Existential theorists also have different views on these issues.
The book Sartre and some humanistic psychologists emphasize that we must make choices among primitive chaos. Because existence is a vacuum everyone must construct for himself the meaning of life. Sartre and others emphasized the importance of making firm choices, while Frank believed that a person's life goal is not an arbitrary choice.
From an existential perspective, the search for meaning is a basic characteristic of human nature.
And a person's search for rich meaning includes two aspects: learning to cherish what already exists and learning to enjoy the sensory pleasure and emotional experience in life, etc., and the other is recognizing and appreciating that there are things in the universe that are more important and more important than oneself. Great things.
The former is easier to achieve immediately than the latter. All in all, a life worth living is meaningful. For me, it is important to me to always think about what is important to me? What makes my life more exciting and worth living? This can give meaning to our lives. So the meaning of life is different for everyone, and everyone should find the meaning of their own life.
