Jia Dawenhao's poems are very popular recently. Everyone is discussing them, and I am here to join in the fun.
I won’t go into detail about the artistry of these poems. After all, I’m not a writer, and I’m not a professional at all.
Let me talk about it from a psychological perspective.
"Lang Lang"
Qingqing shouted
My sister is shitting on my bed
Wait for us to run away
Lang Lang has calmed down
holding a piece of shit in his hand
got off the bed
looked like a returning king
A child came over with a piece of shit in his hand. Seeing this scene, how did you feel?
If you are a biological mother and have a nanny at home, and you are not bothered to take care of it, then you may think it is cute.
But most people will definitely hide when they see it. But when the nanny who is serving this child sees such a scene, she is probably ready to kick her. What else is there to talk about the "returning king"?
"My Mother"
I came home from get off work at noon
Auntie said your baby is very powerful
I asked what was wrong
She said: I took them out to play in the morning
One of them peed
At the door of the office, I shouted "My mother, huh"
When the other man saw this, he also peed to the door of the office.
While peeing, he said:
Both of your mothers peed.
Two children, in Peeing in front of someone else's office door, the mother is so happy? The office is not yours.
These are two naughty kids. What they lack is education and lessons. When most people see them, they just slap them in the face.
The topic has come to this, let’s talk about it, why is it that when a child poops and urinates, his own mother becomes very popular, but others only find it disgusting, smelly, and want to hit someone?
There is an underlying psychological logic here:
A person's growth is actually achieved through continuous separation from the mother body.
From the very beginning, a fetus is born in the mother's womb. At this time, the child and the mother are symbiotic, and they are closely connected from the physical to the psychological and cannot be separated at all.
Later, when the fetus matures, it will be delivered. This is the first separation in life. The fetus is separated from the mother's body and becomes dependent on the mother's body through milk and care.
Later, the baby grows into a toddler, learns to walk, slowly explores the world, is weaned, and separates from the mother for the second time.
Then, the child will go to kindergarten and leave his mother to meet his friends. This is the third time he is separated from his mother.
Then, separate beds, separate rooms, until adolescence, the child begins to rebel, both physically and psychologically, must completely separate from the mother's body, completely separate, and become a complete person.
Every separation between a child and its mother is a time of growth. It not only has a more independent personality, but also gets to know and come into contact with the larger world.
In the symbiosis stage, the fetus is completely inside the mother's body, and the only world it can know and come into contact with is the fetus, amniotic fluid , and umbilical cord .
Then in his perception, the world is the x house, and there is no need to distinguish between himself, the world, and others.
In the next dependence stage, the newborn's eyes can only see 20-30 centimeters. This distance is the distance between the mother's face when breastfeeding, so the only world the newborn can recognize and come into contact with is the mother and the breast.
Then in his cognition, the world is his mother, and he cannot distinguish between himself, the world and others at all.
As children grow up slowly, it is not until they are three months old that their eyes can see things within three meters and their heads can stand upright and turn, that they roughly realize that the world is very big.
Other things began to be added to his cognition, and the world continued to expand, but he still could not distinguish between himself, the world, and others. The psychological world was just chaos.
Children's psychology develops slowly. It is not until one year old that they can realize their own existence. At two years old, they can distinguish themselves from the world. At three years old, they can realize that there are others in the world. At four years old, they can know that others will do the same. There are other people's thoughts...
And it takes a lifetime to clearly understand that other people's thoughts are different from your own. We often say "think about me too", which is to remind that person, "Hey, wake up , other people think differently than you do”.
We must learn to think from other people's perspective, put ourselves in others' shoes, and feel deeply. These actually allow us to understand that "other people's ideas may be different from yours."
If you are happy, others may not be happy; if you like it, others may hate it; if you pee in front of someone's door, you are happy, but they are disgusted, because they are not the same person as you.
When Jia Dawenhao wrote these poems about excrement and urine, the children were probably still infants, 1-2 years old, and had not yet entered kindergarten.
During this period, the child and the mother have a dependent relationship and are not psychologically separated, so the child's thoughts are the mother's thoughts, and the mother can also feel the child's feelings.
A 1-2 year old child is very happy when she poops on the bed, because she is in the anal desire stage, and pooping makes her anus feel so comfortable.
If you pee at someone else's door, you will be happier. No creature can refuse to affect the pleasure of others. Things in DNA are instinctive.
When the excrement passes through the anus, the child is happy and Jia Dawenhao is happy. This is due to psychological dependence.
Whenever the child poops or pees, she thinks it is so cute, so interesting, so awesome...
Poetry is so popular that she must write a poem to share this happiness.
But others cannot feel this happiness, because others are not independent of their children, and they will only feel disgusted when they see other people's excrement.
Jia Dawenhao's poems come from life and obey instinct. From the perspective of animal attributes, it seems to make sense.
But human psychology is very complex. Not only is it divided into the id, ego, and superego, the self is also divided into the main self, the guest self, and the mirror self.
The self is instinct and desire, and it is the most fundamental psychological motivation for all behaviors as long as a person is alive.
The self is a management mechanism that adjusts a person's behavior so that he can adapt to the real world and avoid being beaten.
The superego is a supervision mechanism that restricts a person's behavior and makes him noble and noble, in line with the morality in his heart.
The self is the mediator that coordinates the desires of the id and the superego emotions. At the same time, it must adjust its own behavior to adapt to the real world, and it must be subdivided into the main self, the guest self, and the mirror self.
I am subjective, what kind of person I think I am, what I want to do, and how to do it.
I am the objective me, what kind of person I am, what I can do, and what I have done.
mirror me is what I see in other people's eyes, what others will say and think when they see what I do.
In the human world, all these "I"s must work together to adapt to reality and be called a "person".
But Jia Dawenhao obviously does not understand this truth. Once the self and are driven, he will do whatever he wants, completely ignoring the self and superego, let alone the guest self and the mirror self.
Her child, 1-2 years old, has all the psychological structure of the id. He pees when he wants and poops when he wants. He is no different from animals. This is normal.
But Jia Dawenhao is not 1-2 years old. If an adult looks like an animal, we will say that this person has a mental state problem and is a person with a mental disorder.
However, she is not the only one with problems. Jia Dawenhao's father, Jia Laowenhao, also has similar obstacles.
Writer Jia Lao is famous in the literary world and has written so many works. Although I don't understand it, I know that his intelligence must be fine, and the problem can only be emotional.
Just talk about Jia Laowenhao’s daughter entering the Writers’ Association. Let’s analyze it:
Myself: I want my daughter to be a professor and join the Writers’ Association.
Self: I am the dean and let my daughter get a degree; I am famous and let my daughter write papers; I have connections and give my daughter professional titles; my methods must conform to the rules of the real world.
superego:none.
tells me: I want my daughter to be a professor and join the Writers Association so that she can find connections, open back doors, and gain fame.
Kewo: I found connections, opened backdoors, gained fame, and made my daughter a professor and join the Writers Association.
mirror me: I didn’t consider it.
Jia Laowenhao's intelligence is very high, and he has no problem adapting to society, but he has moral problems, and he doesn't seem to value his reputation very much.
is not only Jia Laowen, if we look carefully, we will find that many big figures of their age have such problems.
The recent news has been one after another, and there are so many things that have refreshed the three views. Many of the big guys behind the scenes are pursuing profits and breaking through the bottom line without considering reputation, and they have messed up everything.
So have you seen the truth of the matter clearly?
Jia Dawenhao's matter is not about art, ability, or fairness. In fact, in the final analysis, it is a group of people in the cultural circle who have a moral problem.
This problem is not a problem that can be solved by yelling or explaining, but requires reshaping morality to solve it from the root.
I am Hongyi’s mother, a second-level psychological counselor. I like reading and thinking. I have been engaged in education and mediation for more than ten years. I have deep insights into education, mediation, and parenting. I share useful information. If you like it, please click Favorite + Follow Oh, it’s the five-pointed star below the article, so that you won’t be able to find me when you want to read it next time.
