On December 24, 2020, the "Peking University student Wu Xieyu's mother-killing case" that caused a sensation across the country entered the court hearing. For the first time, Wu Xieyu, who has an AB background, "candid" his mental journey. In the eyes of everyone, Wu Xieyu is perfect. Not only does he have excellent grades, he can also get along with the classmates around him. How could a child with high IQ and high EQ become the devil who killed his biological mother? A sentence from Li Meijin, a professor at the People's Public Security University of China , may be able to explain it all: "Although he has a high IQ, his heart is empty, so empty that he has no soul."
Behind Wu Xieyu's seemingly perfect appearance, there is something With an empty heart, he could not feel the meaning and value of his existence. Xu Kaiwen, deputy director of Peking University Student Mental Health Counseling Center, once mentioned a psychological disorder in a speech - hollow disease. According to statistics from Xu Kaiwen, Peking University freshmen, including undergraduates and graduate students, 30.4% of them hate learning or think that learning is meaningless, and 40.4% of students think that living and life are meaningless. The most extreme thing is to give up. Own.
Excellent Peking University students actually have the tendency of "hollow heart disease"? Many parents find it incredible.
So what exactly is hollow heart disease?
Hollow heart disease refers to a psychological disorder caused by defects in values, that is, there is no clear goal in life, low mood, feeling that study and life are meaningless, no hope in life, no motivation, feeling very confused about life, and being physically and mentally exhausted. Hollowing out, etc. This is the most common phenomenon of hollow heart disease.
Professor Xu Kaiwen mentioned in the lecture: Most of the children suffering from "hollow disease" are children who study well. Many of these good children in the eyes of others don't like to talk. They are always immersed in their own world, communicating with themselves. They strive to become good children in the eyes of their parents and meet their parents' academic expectations and satisfaction. Many students are forced to pick up books under the supervision of teachers and parents, forcing themselves to remember boring and unintelligible knowledge. They don't have what they want in their hearts, and everything is forced into their hearts by others. of. When they passed the college entrance examination and entered university, they found that after leaving the controlled life, their hearts were empty. They have no ideals of their own. After fulfilling the expectations of their parents and teachers, they no longer know what they want to do. There is no goal in the heart, no motivation, and it becomes an empty soul with no interest.
The fundamental reason why children suffer from "hollow disease" lies in education. Now our education only focuses on children's scores and only talks about scores with children. This is true for school education, and so is family education and . Focusing only on the results of the test papers, while ignoring the cultivation of students' real interests, hobbies and ways of thinking. Children are stuck in boring exam-oriented studies, with no connection to the real world, no more outdoor activities, and not enough friends. The final result is that children are lost in reality. Many children have been infected with "hollow heart disease", but their parents are unaware of it!
How to help children get rid of the clutches of "hollow disease"? Parents might as well do this.
1. Give children a full life experience.
Many parents nowadays require their children to do nothing else as long as they read the book well. So the parents have arranged everything, but the children don't know how to do anything. In fact, the more parents protect their children and provide them with thoughtful and meticulous services, the stronger their sense of powerlessness and meaninglessness will be. Because you are helping him in his life, you have become the protagonist of his life. Once you are not around, he will lose control, and his depression and restlessness will follow him.
Children need to experience their own life in a real way.Parents should stop arranging their children's lives and give them the sovereignty of life. Let three-year-olds eat and walk alone, six-year-olds sleep independently, eight-year-olds pack their schoolbags by themselves, and ten-year-olds help their mothers wash their clothes. Clean the room, so that 12-year-old children can decide how to arrange their own summer vacation...
2. Create a healthy and harmonious family environment.
Children’s growth requires a healthy family environment. If the family atmosphere is warm and harmonious, and family members care for each other and have sincere feelings, children will easily become independent and emotionally rich people. Love is the sunshine and dew needed for the growth of children's spiritual strength. With the love of family members, children's hearts will be filled.
3. Create a sense of accomplishment beyond academic performance.
Parents should help their children develop a variety of skills other than learning, so that their sense of achievement no longer relies solely on learning. Whether it is sports, handicrafts, painting, or music, as long as it is something the child likes, accompany and encourage him to persist, so that he can experience full fun in it, so that while being nourished by art and sports, they can also increase themselves. Confidence and sense of worth in multiple areas.
4. Encourage children to make friends.
Children need partners to grow up. Friends made before the age of twelve are called "faxiao". The budding relationship between boys and girls before the age of twelve is called "childhood sweethearts". We all know that the relationship between "faxiao" is the most sincere and strongest. We We also know that the feelings of "childhood sweethearts" are the purest and most beautiful. They are the protective forest and the fragrance of birds and flowers in the spiritual world of children. A child who has friends will not easily become disgusted with life. The comfort and encouragement between friends will make him understand that he is a valuable and cared for person. In the process of communicating with others, he will feel the warmth and resonance, and he will cherish life more and love life.
5. Pay attention to the growth and enrichment of children’s soul.
The spiritual growth and enrichment of children requires reading thousands of books, traveling thousands of miles, broadening their horizons, and improving their realm. It enriches the child's inner world and increases his good feeling about the world. Parents should bring their children to read more, ancient and modern, Chinese and foreign, historical reality, eyes see the world and see others, the soul will be enriched, the thoughts will be profound, and the emotions will be delicate. You should take your children to travel more, so that they can broaden their horizons and see the beauty of the world.
Parents should start from now on, don’t just focus on the scores, give the child’s life back to himself, let the child experience the world more, let the child experience the joy of growing up, and keep “hollow disease” away from our children. !
