Inferiority mentality is not innate. It is gradually formed due to improper self-evaluation. Objectively speaking, inferiority complex is caused by certain personal flaws or repeated failures.
Psychologists believe that everyone has innate physical or psychological defects, and there is an inferiority complex in people's subconscious. The emergence of many psychopathological phenomena is related to improper handling of inferiority complex.
If a child rarely experiences the joy of success, or has never been appreciated by others, his self-confidence will be suppressed and his inferiority complex will become increasingly serious; a child who suffers repeated setbacks and even doubts the value of his own existence will very likely It is easy for them to be pessimistic and disappointed about their future, and they may develop an inferiority complex in the future.
As a parent, the following behaviors may promote or aggravate your child's inferiority complex, so please be careful.
(1) Frequently criticize children
There are still many parents who like to criticize their children, or they criticize more than praise.
Children in early childhood, due to their immature mental development, do not yet have self-evaluation consciousness and self-cognition ability. Their understanding and judgment of themselves often come from the judgment of adults. "Look at you, you can't even hold a bowl!", "You're so stupid! You can't even draw such a simple picture!", "You're so worthless, what are you using your brain for?", these words will have a profound impact on children. Producing a negative psychological suggestion will leave a mark in the child's mind that "I can't do it, I don't have the ability."
Whenever I try something, the first thing I think of is: "Yes, I may not be able to do it, so I might as well not do it."
This leads to the formation of timid, timid, cautious, and indecisive characters in children.
When the inferiority complex is implanted in a child's mind like a root and affects the child's behavior, he is already a child defeated by inferiority complex.
(2) Require children to pursue perfection.
Some parents have high expectations for their children. They will unconsciously convey the message of high expectations to their children through their words and deeds. There are also some parents who beat, scold, or force their children who cannot meet their expectations.
However, children have their own intellectual characteristics, personality characteristics, interests and hobbies. Under such a high-pressure policy, it is most likely for children to develop an inferiority complex. If parents have too high expectations for their children, when they exceed the child's actual level and cannot achieve the goals set by parents or teachers no matter how hard they try, they will experience When faced with repeated failures and setbacks, children will definitely lose their self-confidence.
(3) Compare with other children. A survey by
shows that the number one thing that bothers children the most about their parents is comparing themselves with others.
In order to set an example for their children and stimulate their children to make progress, some parents will compare themselves with other children. In fact, doing so can lead to low self-esteem and resistance in children. Every child has a positive heart. It’s not that the child doesn’t want to work hard, but that he or she cannot achieve the goals expected by his or her parents due to various reasons. Comparing the strengths of others with the weaknesses of your own child not only makes the child feel ashamed and unable to hold his head up, but also greatly hurts his self-esteem. When there are more of these, the children will become numb and their self-esteem will be gone, and they will naturally not seek to make progress.
There are also some parents who ask their children to compare themselves with themselves. For example, they often say, "This time I did worse than the previous few times," or "This semester is not as good as last semester." Some parents often only look at the results and do not analyze the reasons. Why is it not as good as before now? Maybe the current course progress has increased and the difficulty has increased, maybe it is not suitable for the new environment, maybe there are fluctuations due to something, etc. As parents, we should help our children find the reasons and analyze more, pay more attention to their children's hearts, and untie the "dead knots" in their children, instead of blindly comparing and criticizing.
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