In real life, if we observe carefully, we will find that everyone has a sense of gain and loss. They don’t care so much about things that are easy to get, but they will always be obsessed with things that cannot be obtained, and stubbornly believe that “the things that cannot be

In real life, if we observe carefully, we will find that: everyone has a sense of gain and loss, and they don’t care so much about things that are easy to get, but they will always be obsessed with things that cannot be obtained, and stubbornly believe that " what cannot be obtained" Things are the best. "

In this regard, as early as the 1920s, the Soviet psychologist Zeigarnik came to the conclusion through a memory experiment: "People are more interested in things that have not been processed than those that have been processed. Things are even more impressive. ”

For example, after completing a certain subject in the college entrance examination, the candidates will discuss the most unfinished questions as soon as they leave the examination room, or the questions that they are hesitant about, rather than the questions that were successfully completed.

Another example is that you had a crush on a girl when you were in school. Every time you mustered up the courage to confess to her, but at the critical moment you gave up because you were afraid of being rejected. As a result, you will still think of her from time to time after several years.

Another example: after get off work, you may not remember how many tasks you completed that day, but you are always worried about the tasks that have not yet been completed, thinking to yourself, "This task was not completed today, and I have to rush it tomorrow." Otherwise the leader will criticize me for my low work efficiency."

Zeigarnik believes, "The reason why people forget the completed work is because the motivation to complete has been satisfied; if the work has not been completed, the same motivation. This left a deep impression on him. ”

In fact, if this happens for a long time, it will cause people to have obsessive-compulsive disorder, so that they can ignore other things and cannot accept the emergence of new people and things, making life into trouble.

So, how to avoid the negative impact of this psychological effect? We might as well deal with it from the following aspects:

First, formulate a clear work schedule.

Before we start a work, we can make a work schedule first, listing what to do on the first day and what to do on the second day... Set a clear completion time for yourself and work according to the schedule.

For example, it usually takes a month to design a catalog. The first week's work task is to organize the list and process the pictures; the second week's work task is typesetting and design; the third week's work task is to proofread and modify it. The task of the fourth week is proofing, checking whether there are any problems with the color, whether there are any errors in the text, whether there are any misprints, etc. When all the problems are gone, the next step is to send it to the printing house for printing.

Second, change your paranoid attitude and learn to give up.

Not everything in the world will follow our mood, and not everything can be obtained. Therefore, if we encounter people and things that we really cannot get, we cannot force ourselves and let ourselves fall into paranoia, and we must learn to give up.

The process of giving up may be painful, but we must understand that " a tough melon is not sweet ", no matter how delicious and beautiful it is, don't dwell on it if it doesn't belong to you.

Only when you let go will your mood be relieved, and then you can pursue other beautiful people and things and start a new chapter.

Life is short. In the process, we will experience many people and things and discover countless beauties, but not all people and things will make us feel good. There are too many things that we will never get in our lifetime, but we can’t get them. We can just appreciate things from a distance, and there is no need to keep dreaming about them.

Third, cherish what you have now and look forward to the future.

People's desires are always endless, but if we want to live calmly and comfortably and get inner satisfaction, we must control our excess desires and know how to cherish them.

Cherish everything you have now, such as a stable job, parents who love you selflessly, a lover who supports you, smart and lovely children, etc.

Forget those illusory things, live every day down-to-earth, and look forward to a better future. Only then will we feel that the world is beautiful and everything is the best arrangement.

Things that are not available are like stars in the sky. We just look up and appreciate them occasionally, not to mention that they are not necessarily the best.You must know that there is no best in many things in the world, only better. If we always eat what is in the bowl and look at what is in the pot, then we will never be satisfied. On the way forward, we may also lose the watermelon and pick up the sesame seeds ——The gain outweighs the loss. ”

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