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Author｜Fenghe
_strong_span_strong__strong_span_span10 The first step towards success."Each of us parents hope that our children will be sunny and confident.
But in life, there are many parents worryingly saying, "Children are very inferior."
Children with inferiority, they are afraid of trying, lacking courage and confidence to face various problems...
If the feeling of inferiority goes deep into the bones, it will cast a gray shadow on the child's life.
Children’s low self-esteem is directly related to their parents’ education;
Parents’ improper education methods are the main reason for children’s low self-esteem.
Especially the three behaviors of parents are the easiest to raise an inferiority child.
Parents like to belittle their children
I have seen a story about a schoolmaster girl.
The reason why she became a schoolmaster all the way, in her words, was forced by her parents.
When she was in elementary school, her parents always asked her to take double percentage points, even one point less.
went to high school, even if she took the first place in the exam, her mother would still say to her: "Don't get overwhelmed!" "You're still far away" Have fun teasing with relatives and friends.
After relatives and friends leave, her mother will sink her face and say: "This sentence is too inappropriate! There is no tutoring."
It seems that in the mother's heart, the daughter will never meet her own requirements. , Never praised her, and attacked and devalued her all the way.
An adult girl, beautiful and from a prestigious school, but she is always discouraged from high-quality men.
She is very inferior and thinks she is not worthy of others.
In the end, she chose a mediocre boy to get married.
After marriage, she desperately to please her mother-in-law and husband at her husband's house, but she has no status at home.
Adele Farber, a famous American pediatrician, said:
"Never underestimate the impact of your words on a child's life."
Indeed! The child’s self-perception,Often it is initially caused by the judgment and evaluation of the parents.
When parents blindly devalue, criticize, disagree and blame, their children will lack self-confidence and become inferior.
It can be seen that we must not use our knife mouth to ruin a child's life.
Parents use violence to corporal punishment of children
actor Chen Qiaoen , once because of alcoholism, was "snow hidden" by the brokerage company.
In her body, there are many labels: "Withdrawal, dislike gregariousness, not good at communication, living in my own world."
According to her, she had a low self-esteem to language barrier.
And all of this stems from the "stick education" of mothers since childhood.
did not pass the exam. She would rather go to the cemetery alone instead of going home in front of the tombstone because she was afraid of mother's stick.
I didn't finish my homework, and my mother slapped me in the face, or hit the blood with a dead branch.
heard the sound of her mother going upstairs, which she later described as "like the voice of the devil".
Even before she was 20 years old, she had never held her mother's hand. She dared not be alone with her mother, nor could she communicate intimately with her.
In China, there is a saying that "a filial son is born under a stick", but is this really good?
After decades of research, psychologists found that:
In all body memories,The double attack of negative language and physical abuse can cause trauma that has the greatest impact on people.
Especially from physical abuse in childhood, including slap, spanking, and hair pulling experience, it will deeply enter the body memory, which is the most difficult memory to erase.
These memories will collapse a child's self-confidence, self-love and self-esteem, and a person with low self-esteem is likely to become an adult.
Therefore, as a parent, we do not advocate sticking education to children.
hitting a child with a stick will engrave shame on the child's body and make the child feel inferior.
Parents ignore their children's emotions
In the movie "The Life of the Disgusted Pine Nuts", the pine nuts have not been beaten and scolded, so they don’t have to worry about food and clothing, and they can read books.
But her misfortune is that she has a weak and sickly younger sister.
Because of the poor health of the younger sister, the father used compensatory mentality to pay too much attention and love to the younger sister.
His father is always blind selectively because of his emotional needs for pine nuts.
In order to win his father's attention, Songzi even made faces and made his father laugh.
But after a long time, my father became unhappy, and even Songzi’s "performing" so hard, it was too late for my sister to cough, which made my father moved and nervous.
pine nuts, just in father’s preference and neglect,Become extremely inferior.
Actually, Songzi's father didn't love her, but because of neglect, Songzi had the illusion that he didn't deserve to have love.
She later ran away from home.
until the moment his father died, he was still talking about pine nuts.
But what's the use? It can't stop the pine nuts from starting to abandon their lives.
The low self-esteem brought by this inferiority complex makes her a harvester for scumbags all the way.
Because Songzi was neglected by her father since she was a child, she thought she lacked the love of a man, so she grew up to please men everywhere, even with bruises and bruises.
Because of low self-esteem, Songzi has no friends either.
A Hui, who Songzi met in prison, tried to help Songzi several times.
But Songzi thinks Ahui is pitying her, and regards Ahui's kindness as contempt.
It can be seen that children who have been neglected by their parents since childhood will not get emotional communication for a long time. They will think that they are not worthy of love and will become inferior in character.
Many parents believe that children are introverted, but in fact, children are often inferior.
Excessive inferiority in children is a personality defect.
If parents find their children are inferior,It is necessary to introspect whether you have made the above 3 mistakes.
As parents, if we want to raise a confident child, we must express praise and encouragement to the child, not beat and scold the child, pay more attention to the child's emotional needs, and give the child the best love.
believes that a child who has been nurtured by the love of his parents will be able to plan for the future with full confidence and achieve a more successful life.
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