language is a window, or a wall,
they judge us, or set us free.
When I speak and listen,
Please let the light of love shine on me.
——Ruth Bebenmeier
Because the program " Tan Talks Traffic " became popular, Tan Qiao turned from a traffic policeman into a celebrity.
Although the show has been suspended for 3 years, many classic show clips are still quoted and reprinted on major video websites.
Many people around him think he is hot and rich.
However, in some recent media interviews, Tan Qiao told reporters that he did not reach the pinnacle of life like others imagined.
He has no money, and he still receives the basic salary of a Chengdu traffic police team every month, 4600 yuan a month;
He is unhappy. He was diagnosed as a precursor to schizophrenia in 2018 by the hospital, and he was diagnosed with moderate depression in 2019.
From the beginning, he was unwilling to accept his "heart disease", and later he began to actively cooperate with treatment. From Tan Qiao’s experience, we can see that although there are now more and more psychological issues The popularization of disease, but most people still cannot treat it as a "normal" disease, and still have a certain sense of stigma about "depression".
He said: "In fact, this depression is not terrible. The terrible thing is that people around you talk coldly to you, so I really don't want to see them."
Depression and verbal violence
Human It can be said to be the most vulnerable species on earth.
Because people not only need to bear physical harm, but also psychological harm.
Violence on the limbs is explicit and it is easier to be observed by people.Law and social culture have more restrictions and amendments to this behavior.
But verbal violence is implicit, making it more difficult to be aware of, and even more difficult to control and restrain.
Internet violence is a common phenomenon in modern society.
South Korean girl group f(x) member Cui Xueli committed suicide in 2019 at the age of 25;
In 2018, a female doctor in Deyang caused conflicts due to friction with a child in a swimming pool , After the video was exposed on the Internet, it was exposed to human flesh and online violence, and finally he was overwhelmed by the pressure and chose to commit suicide.
In Tan Sir’s interview, although some negative comments he received on the Internet were mentioned, the voices around him most hurt him.
The development of social economy will inevitably bring people's higher pursuit of spiritual life.
And we also need to pay attention to the invisible weapon hidden in the language.
Three common language violence in life
1. Blocking
Have you only brought a child? Didn't we bring it?
When talking about important feelings, people often tell the other person: You shouldn’t think so.
Everyone has brought a baby, why are you the only one who complains? You must have a problem yourself.
Be positive, be positive, you are too negative energy.
This way of expression is actually a kind of mental obstruction, intending to forcefully turn the other person’s thoughts to the direction that one expects, and in the process of breaking, it is easy to make a person feel emotional Get hurt.
2. Jump to conclusions
Now that you have both children and daughters, you are happy and you should suffer a little bit.
Although keyboard man is easier to see on the Internet, it is also very common in real life.
One of the major characteristics of Keyboard Man is that they ignore other people's experiences and situations, and wantonly put some negative labels on a person.
You deserve it. This is all you asked for. It’s because you are too negative energy to get depression.
No one can truly understand and experience the lives of others, and judging others by jumping to conclusions is undoubtedly a sharp knife that pierces the hearts of others.
3. Strike
Don't tell me this, I still have depression. I want to die, I want to die now, don't talk to me about this, do what you should do.
uses a strong attitude to overwhelm the other party with words. In fact, it is also telling the other party:
These words, you should not say them at all.
For depression patients, adequate expression is very important.
A person who often suffers verbal attacks often develops a habit of suppressing his feelings.
When a person suppresses his own feelings for a long time, he will also become more and more aggressive towards himself and fall into a kind of dejected internal friction.
There are some words that can heal a person, and some words may hurt someone invisible.
Most people are aware of the pain caused by physical injury, but they still can't realize the violence in words.
Human society has developed from material civilization, and now it is getting deeper and deeper into spiritual civilization.
To become a person who conforms to the spirit of the times also requires us to pay more and more attention to the emotional needs and emotional value of each person.
Although power can bring honor to people, love can bring happiness to people.
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