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Yu Xiuhua was domestically abused,
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https://www. ml2 let me see the collective dilemma of women
text/Yan Lingyang
1
Last night, poet Yu Xiuhua posted on Weibo that he found his boyfriend Yang Juece suspected of cheating, and then suffered from family violence and was slapped hundreds of times.
As early as July 5, some netizens discovered that Yu Xiuhua had a fierce quarrel with her husband during the live broadcast. Yu Xiuhua said: "You pinch my neck, you hit me, why don't you broadcast live when you hit me?"
Yang Junce said, "I hit you, where did I hit you? You said that I can stand others, you said my daughter is a bitch." I can't stand it. You shouldn't swear, you shouldn't swear, you shouldn't communicate with emotion."
However, Yang Junce took Yu Xiuhua's out of control and showed it to the audience. In my opinion, it was a very serious bullying and offense... It means that this person is not a good person by nature.
This morning, a reporter called Yu Xiuhua and said she was in good health, but was afraid that Yang Junce would go to find her at dawn, so she "had to hide, if she didn't go out, she would be beaten to death." After
, Yang Junce also accepted an interview with the media.
"Forcing someone who loves her to hit someone..."
"If I had no sense when I hit her, if I lost control, she would not be able to post Weibo ."
"If she wants to blackmail me, just blackmail me... step on my shoulder..."
He had no intention of regretting or apologizing for hitting someone himself. How to talk about
? If a man really pinched her neck, beat her and had an ambiguous relationship with other women, it would be really too damn...
No matter how ugly a woman scolds her, a man can break up or get divorced, but he can't hit a woman. Moreover, Yu Xiuhua is also a disabled woman with a more physical weakness.
These few words may be the self-awareness of most domestic violence men.
Hit people by yourself, they are forced to do it.
is still very conscientious, so do they still have to thank you for not beating her to death? You can hit
, but people can't say it out. If you say it, you will step on you and hack you?
Let’s look at people’s attitude towards a couple fighting over marriage and love issues, which is very interesting.
The woman said, "He hit me." The man would fight back and say, "He swears."
Then, the reaction of the onlookers might be: One slap can't sound, neither of them is a good bird.
However, if two men have a conflict similar to this, the onlookers may say: If someone swears, you can hit someone?
The men and women showdowns within the family are easy for people to double standards.
The men's duel, and these people immediately became very sober and objective.
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Yu Xiuhua was 46 years old and Yang Qice was 32 years old. The two met in the winter of 2021.
On January 1, 2022, Yang Junce announced that the two were in love.
In April 2022, Yang Junce and Yu Xiuhua took a set of wedding photos.
I really didn't expect that this kind of thing will be exposed now.
Two days ago we also wrote Yu Xiuhua's story "I think the people who scold Yu Xiuhua are all low-level". I wish she could have a happy marriage.
Although, if this is really possible, it is also a miracle on earth, or even a miracle.
Gods rarely come to the world, so it is difficult for them to leave miracles.
No matter what, the man’s fortune is almost over.
She can afford his traffic and can also recover it at any time.
Yu Xiuhua's mind is still clearer than that of ordinary women when facing such things.
Dare to do things, dare to take responsibility, dare to bet and lose.
I also disagree with words like "showing love and dying quickly".
As a public figure, Yu Xiuhua can form a different check and balance against her partner whether she shows her love or scars.
If you change to an ordinary person, no one knows that he might be beaten to death, let alone use the power of public opinion to punish him.
In addition, Yang Junce was divorced, but I was actually very curious about the reason for his divorce.
Most men and women get married for happiness.
When divorced, women's retreat, way out and possibility of meeting happiness again are smaller than men, but they still have to insist on divorce... just to "no longer suffer".
does not rule out that some women do it, but most women, if you try it, why would they rather pay such a big price to get divorced?
I always think that discrimination against divorced women is wrong, but discrimination against divorced men (especially those who still get divorced after having children) makes some sense.
People discriminate against divorced women, mainly discriminating against poor (because most single mothers are under great economic pressure) ;
. People discriminate against divorced men, mainly discriminating against character (most women with children can tolerate it in marriage, but she still has to persist in divorce, you can choose) .
Everything is not absolute, but that's the case. Discrimination is to improve the selection efficiency. Some people must have been accidentally injured, but most of them are not wronged.
It’s a pity that in reality, divorced women are actually discriminated against, and people are not wary of divorced men.
3
After Yu Xiuhua's incident came out, a netizen said it well: Female poets and talented men mistakenly fantasized about the same sexual privileges as male celebrities, but the patriarchal society did not have the mature craftsmanship of mass production of male muse, male red fans, male lovers, and male wives.
I think this is too true.
You see Shi Tiesheng , his legs were paralyzed, but his wife Chen Ximi met him because of poetry, and then married him and had children. She accompanied him and took care of him for more than ten years without regrets.
Moreover, Shi Tiesheng’s wife has good conditions and looks good, ten years younger than him.
Zheng Zhihua is also disabled, but his wife is so virtuous. After being married to him for so many years, how could he have ever had any infidelity or domestic violence?
Blind singer who became famous with the song "You are My Eyes" Yang Guang , married a beautiful wife and gave birth to a child. The couple is now making money on live streaming, and their wife is his live streaming assistant.
The famous singer sang " Outside the Window " Li Chen , also has disabled legs. She married and had children with her assistant Ai Xiaohui, and is still living a good life.
Is Taiwan's disabled blind singer Li Binghui good-looking? At least it does not conform to the common aesthetic of the public.
How did I pay attention to him? It is Luo Zhixiang used to supplement and help him, so I paid attention to him.
He was blind when he was one year old, and later his parents died. He started to be a beggar for two years at the age of 12 and practiced good musical instruments.
html When he was 114 years old, he entered a blind massage parlor with the help of his uncle and made a living.
Later, I met the blind man who was singing in Tamsui, Taiwan. The two hit it off and debuted together.
Li Binghui's wife Yahui is a healthy person and looks good.
Li Binghui fell blind and fell into a cleft testicle after a performance. His wife accompanied her to treat it.
The couple once appeared on the show together. His wife said that he had a difficult life after a stroke, and she also wanted to run away from home.
However, please note that she just "thinks" and has not put it into practice - a normal woman may have countless times when she finds a husband who is not disabled.
I think the experience of "a disabled but talented and rich man" and "a disabled but talented and rich woman" in terms of marriage are too different.
You see Hawking . Earlier, his first wife took care of him for decades of dressing, eating, going to the toilet, and sleeping. The two raised two sons and a daughter together.
Hawking's first wife married and had children even though she knew that Hawking had ALS , and after marriage, she gave up her doctoral degree in order to take care of Hawking.
However, after Hawking became famous, he fell in love with the married nurse who took care of him and divorced her first wife.
Of course, before this, the relationship between the two had already died in name only.
Hawking's first wife was very hard to take care of the whole family. Later, she had a right-hand man, so it was rumored that Hawking's third child was (actually his) , whose first wife made him "father" him.
The first wife has faith, and Hawking is an atheist, and the two have a big disagreement in this regard.
After Hawking got married with a nurse, there were news that a nurse abused him. He tried his best to deny it, but he and the nurse later divorced.
His ex-wife ignored her past grudges and took him back to take care of her until he died.
Hawking's second marriage also lasted for 11 years.
At that time, Hawking was no longer very active and even lost his language function.
Although he is rich and can hire a nanny and a nurse, his life still depends on the care of his second wife.
Look, a rich disabled man, whether it is a first marriage or a second marriage, is quite well-behaved and will take care of him, at least not cruel.
If you are a rich disabled woman... the chance of meeting a bad man will be much higher.
Most likely, women find talented and rich men, and most of them can be content with themselves and live a good life.
Men are not good, men will think: I am so wronged when I find a disabled person. No matter how rich or talented she is, she cannot make up for my grievance.
4
Last night, I was watching Yu Xiuhua's gossip, and the comma asked me "Who is Yu Xiuhua", and then I told her her story.
Comma says: Oh, it’s too troublesome to find a man, why doesn’t she find a “female boyfriend”? Women are much more friendly.
I thought to myself: Your mother thinks this is the case, but we are all generations who have been delayed by our sexual orientation.
Of course, this is just my joke.
I think Yu Xiuhua's dilemma is also the dilemma for all women to choose a spouse.
What she really admires is people like Li Jian . Before
, netizens mocked her for wanting to eat swan meat, but she also explained: If Li Jian understood me, he would know that love poems were not written for him.
Li Jian in Yu Xiuhua is an image similar to the "sister" in Haizi .
It’s a pity that Li Jian has only one.
is as intelligent as Li Jian and has almost no man who is a low-level and low-level version of Li Jian in terms of conditions.
I always feel that Yu Xiuhua's external conditions are not very good, but she has a high-level soul.
As a woman, Yu Xiuhua longs for love, so she can only be low-at least on the intellectual level.
What determines whether two people can continue for a long time is not the match of these external conditions, but the match of the intellectual level.
So, Yu Xiuhua's tragedy is not unique to her, but to women.
Some netizens said: Even if a woman is one level higher than a man in class, once she establishes a marriage relationship with the man and goes to bed, this ordinary man who is originally a lower level will instantly feel that his status has improved and may even begin to look down on women.
I thought about it based on the cases around me, and it seems that this phenomenon is really happening.
Cinderella will most likely always be grateful to, admire the prince, and even feel a little inferior when marrying the prince.
She will become the prince’s virtuous support with the gratitude of “his class has leap because of the prince”.
If the gray guy married the princess, then from the moment he became the prince consort, his inferiority will no longer exist.
For a long time, let alone a princess, even the queen has to endure him and give in to him.
Wu Zetian Wait until Li Zhi died before she could stand up to the public and become the emperor, and she has real talents.
The male pet that Wu Zetian raised just slept with her and wanted to rebel before she could die.
This kind of self-confidence of men is really innate and self-taught.
A considerable number of women who lose love and divorce will reflect on themselves and correct themselves.
A man who has lost love or divorced will only a few people do this, and most people will think: I am right, the next one is better.
has the word "resentful woman", but there is no "resentful husband". After all, it is because these men have nothing to complain about.
When the relationship continues, it means that he is sorry for others, and that they need to "tolerate" him. After the relationship between
ended, they had nothing to reflect on.
I think this is a structural and systematic problem, and it has no solution.
We can only comfort ourselves: there is no love, so worry comes from no love, so fear comes from no love; if we are separated from love, there is no worry and no fear.
If you still long for love and still pursue love, then good luck. Even if you don’t have good luck, I hope you can accept the loss and make the best of your life.
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Author: Yan Lingyang, born in the 1980s, emotional columnist, author of the new feminism, member of the Chinese Writers Association. He has written the best-selling books "Those that make you suffer one day will say it out with a smile", "May you let go of the past and deserve the future", "May you have a journey and a way out", "I am divorced", "The world with you is not lonely - an alternative interpretation of Jin Yong's martial arts novels" and children's picture books "Mom's House, Dad's House". With 13 years of experience in finance (management) and is currently the founder of a cultural information consulting company in Guangzhou and the co-founder of a cultural media company. Born in Lijiang, Yunnan, now living in Guangzhou. Welcome to follow the WeChat public account: Yan Lingyang Weibo: Yan Lingyang ~
