I'm sorry, mother, that year when you came to Jinan to see us, one night I was very drunk and a few comrades took me to my unit. The unit was a military hospital. I was given an injection in the hospital to sober up. I remember that the tube used for the injection was very thick.

I'm sorry, mother, that year you came to Jinan to visit us. One night I was very drunk, and several comrades took me to my unit. The unit was Military Hospital . I was given an injection in the hospital to sober up. I remember to get the injection. Boss, the hospital leader sent someone to call your daughter-in-law to come and take care of me. It was so late and dark, and people were coming and going. Mother, must I have scared you that day?

Mother, ever since your eldest grandson grew up to be as old as me when I was drunk, I have truly realized that parents care about their children all the time, and my body, which grows every day, has never left me for a moment. Over mother. In the morning, my mother watched me leave home to go to work. In the evening, my mother sat at the door waiting for me to return home from work.

Twenty-six years ago, on the first day of the fifth lunar month, the Dragon Boat Festival will be held in a few days. You didn’t want to stay in Jinan anymore and rushed me to buy a train ticket to go back to my hometown. It was a hot day, so I borrowed a tricycle for grocery shopping from the unit canteen and pulled you around the barracks courtyard. The trees in the courtyard covered the sky with thick shade. I urged you over and over again under the cool trees. My daughter-in-law followed me and called me mom over and over again to persuade you, but you didn’t listen.

At eight o'clock that morning, we got on the air-conditioned train home. There were not many people in the train, and it was clean, tidy, and bright. You and I were sitting across the table. You were in very good spirits, your back was straight, and your eyes were shining. , the two of us talked a lot, there was a train, there was a sentence in my mind that I remembered, you said, Fourth child, one day I will die, please remember to wind more paper for me! I didn't let you say such words at that time, and I didn't take these words to heart.

Back home, you walked into my eldest brother's house, and your heart seemed to be much more at ease, but your cough and breathlessness became a bit severe again. I stayed at home for another night, and early the next morning, I had to When you returned to the army, you were lying on the kang, lying flat on your back. I approached you and said, "Mom, I'm leaving. I'll take leave and come back to see you in a month. You need to be well." You agreed softly and tilted your head to look at me. I walked out of the west room door, the hall door, and the courtyard gate of my eldest brother's house. I looked back three times with each step, my eyes filled with tears.

For a whole month, who knew that this farewell would actually be a permanent farewell to my mother. On the first day of the sixth lunar month, my mother passed away. When I received the call, I was so flustered that I broke through the dark night, with dew soaking through my trouser legs. I ran all the way to you, and your daughter-in-law and your eldest grandson who had just entered elementary school couldn't keep up with me. When I got home, the yard was full of people. I went to you and held your hand. My hand was so cold. The aunt beside me said, don't cry, fourth son, don't drop your tears on your mother. Suddenly, I burst into tears. My dearest mother in the world is gone, my most vulnerable mother is gone. The mother who warmed my cotton-padded shoes in the winter is gone, the mother who fanned me with cattail fans in the summer is gone, the mother who was reluctant to eat an orange and broke it into several pieces to share with my grandchildren is gone. The mother who spanked me hard with a broomstick, scolding me for doing something wrong and not studying hard and telling the truth. While spanking me, she asked me if I would change. The mother who never liked good food and good clothes is gone.

After that, I shouted to my mother, I laughed with my mother, I bragged with my mother, I told my mother that I was wronged, but my mother never paid attention to me again.

I heard from my eldest brother that when her mother was dying, she always said "four, four" and sometimes pointed out the window. I don't know if she meant death or hanging on the fourth child of Jinan...

Mother, I'm sorry, the fourth child said I would see you again in a month, why didn't you wait for me even a day?

Mother, I'm sorry, I came home late.

2022.5.6 11:50 am

1 o'clock number Mo Mei