01 Based on my memory, Xiao Ming was highly myopic. He wore glasses as thick as the bottom of the beer bottle, but he kept making trouble. One day, when he went home, his nose was swollen and he didn't wear glasses on his nose. Grandma asked, "What's going on?" "I had a fight wit

01

Xiao Ming highly myopia, wearing glasses as thick as the bottom of a beer bottle, but he keeps making trouble. One day, when he went home, his nose was swollen and he didn't wear glasses on his nose. Grandma asked:

"What's going on?"

"I had a fight with someone."

"Where are the glasses?"

"Put it in the bag."

"How to fight with someone without glasses?"

"It's like this. Before the fight, I looked at the opponent carefully, and then I took off my glasses and hit it with my memory!"

02 Erguotou 's power

It is said that an American, a Japanese, and a Chinese are arguing about which country's wine is so good. It is said that the wine in their country is very good. After three days and three nights of struggle, I finally decided to use mice for experiments.

The first mouse drank American whiskey, staggered for ten steps, and then fell down. Americans are very proud!

The second mouse drank Japanese m wine , staggered for five steps, and then fell down. The Japanese are even more proud!

The third mouse drank Erguotou, a famous Chinese wine, and walked more than ten steps. Finally, it returned to its nest.

Japanese and Americans were about to laugh at the Chinese when the mouse came out of the nest with a brick and shouted, "Where is the cat?" "

03 Conversation with

Elementary school...Mom, when I grow up, I won’t get married anymore. I will always be with you.

Junior high school...Mom, when I grow up and get married, I still want to live with you.

Middle school...Mom, when I grow up and get married, I will come back to see you often.

University...Mom, when I grow up and get married, I will come back to see you.

When you get married...Mom, when I get married, I will come back to see you.

When you get married...Mom, don’t come to me after getting married...Mom, don’t come to me if you have nothing to do.

04 The driving is too deep

The chief physician was furious: "This is the third operating table you broke this month, Mr. Smith! Please don't cut the knife so deep in the future! ”

05 County Grand His Holiness

New County Mayor sat in the car and asked the driver: "Why is there a 'rabbit' on your car window? "When the driver saw it, it turned out to be a sign of exemption for road maintenance.

County magistrate regarded the word "Dao" as the word "Rabbit". The driver was embarrassed to explain it clearly, so he joked: "I hope the car will run faster. "

County Magistrate nodded, "Good idea. "Reply to the secretary; "I saw the public security bureau's cars running too fast. When I went back, I posted a turtle in their car and told them to run slower. ”

06 博取

Four boys took a taxi to school every day.

One day, a boy said: “The exam is going to be taken this morning. As long as we are late, we don’t have to bring it. "Then how should we tell the teacher? "Another boy said: "She will definitely be angry." We have to find a good reason. "

So the four boys thought about it. After a while, a boy said, "We talk about how about the taxi tires explode? "Good idea! "The other boys cried and said, "Let's just tell the teacher." ”

When the four boys arrived at school, the exam was over. “Why are you late? "The teacher asked angrily: "Do you know that the exam has ended for an hour? "The taxi we were riding had a flat tire." A boy said. The teacher

thought for a while and said to them: "Okay, forget it." I'm not a petty person. You are sitting in four corners of the classroom now. I'll give you a piece of paper. All you have to do is write which tire of the taxi is blown. ”

07 The police and the drunkard

The bank was robbed, and a priceless necklace was lost in the safe. The police did not find the suspect, but only found a drunkard lying in the hall, so they interrogated him.

The police put the drunkard's head in the bucket for a minute and asked: "Where is the necklace?" "I asked again in the water. After repeated several times, the drunkard couldn't hold on anymore and shouted: "Stop! Stop. Stop. Find another diver to find a necklace. ”

08 Crying husband

Three people died and went to heaven. When they arrived, St. Peter asked the first person if he was loyal to his wife in his lifetime.

This person admitted that he had done two things wrong. St. Peter said he could only get one small car. St. Peter then asked the second person if he was loyal to his wife, and the second person admitted that he had done something wrong. St. Peter said he could get a midsize car.

The third one told St. Peter that he was loyal to his wife until his death. St. Peter praised him and gave him a limousine. A week later, three people drove out at the red light and they all stopped.

Two people from a compact car and a medium car saw the man in the luxury car crying and asked him: "You have such a good car, why are you crying?" The man said: "I just saw my wife. She only stepped on a small pulley."