1. My buddy was heartbroken, and I advised him: "Your girlfriend should not feel bad!" My buddy asked back, "It was me she abandoned. What's wrong with her?!" I said: "She might cry with joy!" 2. Men have a heavy responsibility, so many men like to smoke a cigarette in the car be

1. My buddy was heartbroken, and I advised him: "Your girlfriend should not feel bad!"

The buddy asked back, "It was her who abandoned me, what's wrong with her?!"

Me: "She may cry in joy!"

2. Men have a heavy responsibility, so many men like to smoke a cigarette in the car before going home and think quietly. Only then will their bodies belong to them. When you open the door and go home, you are the vegetables, rice, oil and salt, your husband, your father, and your son!

Before I got home today, I lit a cigarette in the car, closed my eyes and thought about this life. I was beaten when I took a puff. Oh, are the quality of people who take the bus so poor? Specializes in the face slap! I feel pain

3. I hope you know: swear words are just a language auxiliary word used to help me vent my emotions, and they have nothing to do with my quality! !

4. Love is like chewing gum. It will be dull and tasteless after chewing for a long time, but it will leave difficult traces wherever it is thrown.

5. Male: "I'm a delicious one, you can only choose the same one!"

Female: "I choose you, but you have to buy me delicious ones!"

6. "My boyfriend was beaten so badly yesterday, and I felt so painful when I looked at it."

"Then why don't you help?"

"It's enough to have them, I'm too lazy to do it."

7. "Be my girlfriend."

"No."

"What I want is a sure."

"It's definitely not."

8. If a person can't do anything, it means that the person has been struck to death by lightning.

9. I asked my girlfriend: "What gift do you want on Valentine's Day?"

She said: "Don't want anything, it's enough to have you with me."

"But I want to spend it with other girls." I said.

10. Meetings are the same as installing software. As long as you don’t hold a negative opinion, you don’t even need to bring your brain.

11. Female: "It is irresponsible to say that it is not good if you haven't watched a movie."

Male: "You haven't loved me yet, isn't it irresponsible to say that we are not suitable for each other?"

12. Female: "Men are all liars, unless you admit you are not a man."

Male: "Okay, I admit I am not a man."

Female: "Look, you are a big liar!"

13. Most of the time people who claim to be straightforward are just unwilling to think about the other person's feelings.

14. The real you:

Weight loss: Check in in the ticket circle as fierce as a tiger, and when you take off your clothes, you will see that your flesh is bulging.

Life: Staying up late at night is as fierce as a tiger, and turning into a gopher at work during the day.

wallet: At the beginning of the month, you can only eat dirt at the end of the month.

15. The woman fainted on the scene of heatstroke, and everyone watched coldly to cool him down.

16. We often say "sleep in spring, tired in summer, napping in autumn, and hibernation in winter". In general, the four seasons are like dreams.

17. The word "only" is said from the boss's mouth, which means that you can do three people's work and get one's salary.

18. People’s appearance is divided into two categories: one is born with beauty; the other is born with inspiration.

19. There is a state of love called: See you all. ——Not to see you, and never to part.

20. Men are consumables, friends are necessities, and boyfriends are necessities.

(non-original, reprinted from the vx official account, please call me Xiangjie)