If the plane bombs and we are all burned to death and stuck to this seat, your family will find the body according to the seat number, take my ashes back and offer them as an offering, and kowtow to me every day, will you be happy?

On the plane, I met an aunt who occupied my seat. I said, please move, this is my seat.
She pointed to her seat and said very horizontally: "You sit there, I will switch with you."
So I said to her: Do you know? If the plane bombs and we all burn to death and are stuck in this seat, your family will find the body according to the seat number, take my ashes back and offer them to me, and kowtow to me every day, will you be happy?
Then, she sat back without saying a word.

When I get a haircut in my hometown, I stand and bend down to wash my hair. I remember when I first entered college, I went to get a haircut. When I was washing my hair, I just lay down on it. The barber was stunned for a moment, and then said, this is lying down. In order to cover up my embarrassment, I pretended to be calm and said, "I know, I'm used to lying down." Then, I will never forget the feeling of squirting shampoo and pouring it into my eyes...

Supermarket is a place where you can always spend money on useless things. I just went in and bought two electric car seat cushions. After I came out, I found that they were really useless because my car was missing.

I have a deskmate who always tells me jokes, and he laughs every time. Actually, most of the jokes I told him before. It was a difficult time, and I was worse off than dead.

I went back to my hometown and went to the place where my father often played cards. An auntie from my father’s poker friend saw me and yelled: This is XX’s son, he looks like a monkey. My face suddenly covered with black lines, I thought you could talk like that. ! I asked her in surprise: Does it really look like a monkey? Where does it look like a monkey? She said: It’s so similar! It looks like anywhere. I was immediately disheartened and wanted to have plastic surgery! Later I found out that my dad’s nickname was Monkey.

Xingxing’s family runs a tavern. One day, Xingxing finally graduated, and the classmates all gave gifts to the class teacher to express their gratitude. Xingxing gave the teacher a box. The box leaked. The teacher licked it and asked in confusion: What you gave is brandy. "No." Xingxing shook his head. The teacher licked again, "That's whiskey " "No" "What is that?" The teacher was impatient. "It's a puppy!" Xingxing said loudly.

Wedding, Groom: Actually, after I fell in love with you, I also loved many people. . . There was an uproar in the audience, and the bride was also stunned. Seeing this scene, the groom continued with satisfaction: Many people, including your parents, your family, and your friends. . . The audience burst into applause. The bride paused and asked: Does it include my besties?

Son: "Dad, am I your biological child?"

Dad: "Of course, why do you ask that?"

Son: "Because I want to marry the girl next door..."

I was watching a movie in the living room, My wife was eating mangoes and asked me after eating, do you want these clothes washed? I took one look and said: "It needs to be washed", so she wiped her hands on my clothes...

My boyfriend came to the house for dinner for the first time. As soon as he walked away, my brother complained to me: Sister, you How do you find such an ugly boyfriend? Before I could say anything, my father spoke slowly: This young man is ugly, but don't you feel that your sister took advantage of him?