1. My wife and I have been married for a year. In a few days, my mother-in-law will come to live with us. We were both nervous, after all we are lazy people and haven't cleaned in a year. We pushed each other and in the end no one had anyone to clean up. My mother-in-law came to our house and taught her daughter in front of me: You have to be more diligent when you are such a lazy person! I remember my mother taught me the same lesson last time.
2. I was also very naughty when I was a child, but my grandma always found ways to cure it. When I was 6 years old, I saw an orange juice commercial on TV, and I clamored for my mother to buy orange juice every day. So, my grandma told me: "Orange juice is very sour, and grandma's teeth can't stand it, let alone you." However, I still insisted on drinking it despite my grandma's advice. Then my grandma bought a bottle of orange juice, took a sip in front of me, and then took off the dentures . So, now that I look at orange juice, I feel like my teeth are going to fall out.
3. The first time I went to my girlfriend’s house, my girlfriend’s father frowned and looked at me: “How old are you?” “40!” I answered truthfully. My girlfriend's father yelled: "My daughter is only 23, are you still shameless?" My girlfriend's mother persuaded me: "I think it's good. She is older, practical, sensible, and can take care of others!" I looked at it gratefully. She, she continued: "Look at me, your daughter is one year older than me. My dad was so against it at the time, so we are still living well!"
4. The wife always suspects that her husband is having an affair, taking advantage of her husband's absence. While at home, I peeked into his diary and found ample evidence. After the husband came home from get off work, the wife cried and asked, "Who is your wife?" The husband felt puzzled and replied, "Who else can it be besides you? Madam?" "Humph! You said "It's better than singing, why did you call a person named Curie Madam in your diary?"
5. Xiaomei asked the doctor's best friend: Xiaoli, is there such a disease in the world? The higher the number, the more likely the patient will be. The less you can see it! Girlfriend: Who has this disease? Xiaomei: My husband, every time he goes shopping with me, he can’t even see clothes worth more than 2,000 yuan! Best Friend: I think he has a disease like this. There is a proper name in medicine called stingyness!
6. The Taoist priest taught his apprentice: "After twelve o'clock on Sunday night, ghosts are most active and most dangerous." The apprentice asked curiously: "Is this a matter of yin and yang?" The old Taoist priest shook his head: "No, no, no. , It’s Monday, and you really don’t want to go to work!”
7. The plane crashed, and the boss, the female secretary, and a passenger all clung to a tree on the cliff. But the tree can only bear the weight of two people. The boss quickly said: "Such a big company can't do without me!" The passenger immediately asked the female secretary: "Is your boss good?" The female secretary quickly replied: "Okay!" The passenger then said: "Then why don't you applaud quickly? ?”
