Tolstoy’s unfortunate marriage: "He loves me, but only at night, never during the day."

Tolstoy said: " We are like two prisoners, locked together and hating each other, ruining each other’s lives but trying to turn a blind eye. I didn’t know that 99% of couples live in the same hell as me. Here."

The marriage of this great writer is the most unfortunate kind of misfortune-only "war", not "peace".

Married for 48 years, had 13 children, ran away from home at the age of 82, and fell ill in a wooden house at a small station.

When he died, he was surrounded by reporters, children, and friends, but he refused to see his wife until his death.

The November wind in Russia was bitter. Sophia stood outside her husband's door, her heart colder than the cold wind.

People say "Let's come to couples and old friends". The wife should be the closest person. Why do they make trouble so much?

01. Exchange diary

17-year-old Lev Tolstoy, the 34-year-old Beyers.

To show his sincerity and let his fiancée fully understand himself, Tolstoy showed her a diary of past experiences.

Tolstoy lived a slutty life before marriage, playing with women, cheating, stealing, gambling, and contracting dirty diseases.Promiscuity, alcoholism, violence, and illegitimate children.

He has many women, and his favorite is a married rural woman—Axinia .

The heroine in many of his works is called by this name.

He wrote in a letter to her: "I have never loved someone like this. She is all in my head. I am in pain. When she approaches me, I even feel scared... where I couldn’t see her, so I looked for her. This is not simply a desire from the flesh, but a husband’s feelings for his wife."

The young Sophia saw all this in her diary and was strongly affected The impact.

Tolstoy's behavior made her feel a great sense of insecurity at the beginning of her marriage and suffered from it all her life.

But this habit of exchanging diaries began.

02. The writer’s wife

gave up life outside the city and followed her husband in the outskirts of Sophia.

In the second year, Tolstoy began to write " war and peace ",At the same time, their first child, Sergey Sha, was born.

The wife of the writer is not good to be.

Naboco's wife Vera helps him with letters and financial affairs.

He doesn't like flying, his wife drove him across 5 Dazhou and helped him complete the shocking " Lolita ".

In addition to doing housework and raising children, Xu Guangping also helped Lu Xun organize his works, copy and proofread.

Zweig For her husband, the wife has to collect information, translate foreign languages, communicate with the outside world, and write a thank you letter.

In addition to taking care of Tolstoy's daily life, Sophia also helped him copy the manuscript .

Because his handwriting is too sloppy, only she can understand.

3000-page "War and Peace" manuscript, she transcribed it 7 times.

600,000 words " Anna Karenina ", 400,000 words "Resurrection", also translated his "On Life" into French,Translated the German "Teaching of the Twelve Apostles" and the English "On Baha'i" into Russian.

She is also responsible for dealing with publishers, comparing the mundane matters of royalties, and managing her husband’s publishing business in a sound and colorful manner, which has brought huge benefits to the family.

In addition, she has to manage the manor and take care of the children, which means that she can only stay up late to copy the text after the children are asleep.

If things go on like this, my eyesight deteriorates, and my body goes from bad to worse.

Tolstoy’s friends praised her for her power, but he himself did not appreciate it: “Too smart is an abomination.”

Sophia gave everything to her husband, but did not get anything in return .

Therefore, she is jealous of all female creatures that come into contact with her husband in any form, even male creatures...

is jealous of his lover, illegitimate child, wife of the estate manager, jealous of her favorite sister, female editor , Even men who have good relationships with their husbands.

Tolstoy never appeased this,She was even more hysterical:

crying all night and not letting her husband sleep.

ran away in the middle of the night, lying on the grass and not going home.

Learn from Anna Karenina and go to "Lying on Track".

imitating the heroine of her husband's novel went to death in the mountains.

lay under the road bridge where her husband was going to Chetkov's house, waiting for his carriage to run her to death.

Her husband went to Moscow to visit Chetkov, and when she came back one day late, she took poison.

sometimes she shoots with a toy pistol in the bedroom, scaring her husband that she wants to shoot herself... , Never in the daytime."——Sophia's Diary

Tolstoy's desire was so strong that he slowly faded at the age of 60 or 70.

Sophia pays more attention to spiritual communication.

25 years after her marriage, she wrote in her diary: "Life should have been good without that. But it's a different matter for him."

Tolstoy took his body He has a clear separation from his soul, and has always had a strong sense of guilt towards lust, which caused him to hate himself,Also hated his wife who aroused his lust.

He accused his wife of "seduce" him more than once, even though the actual situation was the opposite.

In terms of parenting, he insists on breastfeeding, refuses contraception and abortion, and believes this is an ethical and moral behavior.

His wife has repeatedly got pregnant with mastitis and is completely unsuitable for breastfeeding. He still insists and accuses his wife of being unwilling to take the responsibility of the mother.

This made Sophia extremely painful.

After 29 years of marriage, she wrote in her diary: "When a woman is young, she loves a man wholeheartedly because she loves her wholeheartedly. Knowing this made him happy. Later, when she looked back on the past, she suddenly realized that this man only loved her when she needed her. She always remembered that his affection became harsh and disgusting at the moment he was satisfied."

Tolstoy cruelly shattered her dream: "There is no such thing as love, only the physical needs of sex and the actual needs of a life partner." "I wish I had read this passage 20 years ago, so that I don't have to marry him."

05. " He has no interest in my whole spiritual life"

In spirit,Tolstoy asked his wife to accept his ideas and arrangements.

He is condescending, self-centered, and machismo, and does not treat his wife equally.

Sophia said: "He is one of the geniuses who use his creativity as the center of his life, and the world around him is just an accessory. He has no interest in my entire spiritual life-because he never even disdains. To understand it."

He likes to walk, but he does not want to walk with his wife.

He is ill and his wife takes care of him.

His wife is ill and he does not care.

Sophia had a uterine tumor and had an operation at home. He actually left home and went for a walk in the forest.

The operation was successful. He was not happy but in great pain. He was so "outraged" to see his escaped wife: A terrible thing! One can't wait to die peacefully!"

Sophia's depression has nowhere to be resolved, so she can only find other spiritual sustenance.

She went to Moscow to study music, and she had a close relationship with the dean Sergei Ivanovich Taniev.

Tolstoy was jealous,Write to Sonia: "My dear Sonia: Your relationship with Taniev is not only unpleasant to me, but also extremely painful. After a year, I cannot work or live, but I am constantly suffering. You know it. , I said this to you when I was angry, and I said the same when I begged you. I tried my best, and none of them worked. You did your own way and became even closer. I can see that this relationship will continue to the end. I cannot bear it ."

Sad Sophia was jealous in her marriage, and she was dealing with others, just hoping to attract her husband's attention.

The husband said for a moment that she broke off contact with the man and returned to him.

06. "Must run away"

is not a good husband, and Tolstoy is not a good father.

's eldest son was born with insufficient milk, and his wife wanted to find nurse for help, but he strongly opposed it.

Because he sympathizes with the peasants and fears that his children will have no milk.

He is very misogynistic and discriminates against women.

He once wrote: "A woman’s true face is,They are mentally weak people, this is not cruel; treating them equally is cruel. The absurdity of our lives is because women are difficult to do. "_Span3span

The eldest daughter Tanya is in love, and he thinks she is irresponsible, like a ghostly obsessed person who loses her mind, is equivalent to locking herself up and throwing the key out the window: "I can't understand how a pure girl could be I want to get involved in such a thing (referring to marriage). If I were a girl, I would not get married anyway. Love is a sentiment that is neither noble nor healthy. "_Span3span

The second daughter, Martha, got married. He said that getting married is the least promising behavior for a woman: "Martha is married, and I feel sorry for her, just like people regret that a thoroughbred horse was dragged to carry water. same. "_Span3span

's little daughter Sasha looks plain, and he says she is ugly.

Gorky commented on him: "He likes talking about women very much, but he always has the rough tone of Russian peasant women. Attitude is a kind of stubborn hostility. There is nothing he likes to do more than to punish them. This is a man's revenge for not getting the happiness he deserves. _Span3span

In his later years, he and his top disciple Chertkov discussed that they would abandon the noble life, distribute the land to the peasants, and plan to publish the copyright of all works, which aroused Sophia’s opposition.

do this,It is tantamount to cutting off the family's financial resources, which will cause Sophia and her eight adult children to lose food and clothing, and she naturally refuses to agree.

Sophia was not willing to blame her husband, so she aimed her at Chertkov.

He is Tolstoy's most important and closest person, and this position is something she longs for in her life.

is also to fight for the inheritance of her children. Four months before Tolstoy's death, in front of everyone, she publicly accused him of being gay, saying that Chertkov was his lover.

To prove this statement, she took out Tolstoy’s 23-year-old diary: "I often fall in love with men.... Diakov is one example. I will never forget that we rode on a sleigh that night. Leaving Petersburg, under a sled blanket, I really want to kiss him, I really want to cry. There is a kind of love in this."

Tolstoy was extremely angry, and wrote in his diary: "Life is better than death."

One month after the 48th wedding anniversary, Tolstoy ran away from home again.

At that time, he was 82 years old, unable to withstand the severe cold and aging, and fell ill at a small station.

Sophia arrived at the station, but Tolstoy refused to see her.

Before he died, he left this last word: "I'm afraid I'm going to die.... It's difficult.... I'm going to a place where no one is disturbed.... Escape!... I must escape!"

07. What she wants,Never get it

Tolstoy is a great writer, thinker, and philosopher.

Its literary and ideological achievements are the precious wealth of all mankind.

But in marriage, he is very irresponsible.

said she wanted to abstain from sex, but she repeatedly made her pregnant, 22 years, 13 children, and did not care about the life or life and interests of the children.

The youngest son died, and his wife was distraught, but he never offered a word of comfort.

I am jealous of my wife and other people, but I go out to hunt for pornography, including his wife, friends, juniors and even relatives.

hates women, but personally says that there is no woman without peace.

agreed to make a public diary, but prepared for a fake transaction, hiding the real in the boot and depositing it in the bank.

Before his death, Sophia said: "I have lived with Leo Tolstoy for 48 years, but I don't know what kind of person he is. "

's husband is negligent And absent father.

She is a hysterical wife and a widowed mother.

others envy her because of Tolstoy’s eternal beauty,She didn't know that this was not what she wanted.

Just like Zhen Huan said: “What the concubine wants to do this day, what the concubine wants, but never get it.”

She dedicated her life to her husband, what she wanted, I never got it.