pays attention to "heard blue say" , and accompanies you to grow into yourself better.
Speaking of inferiority complex, I believe that everyone will not be unfamiliar with it, just like the psychologist Adler said: "Everyone has a shadow of inferiority." Even if they look confident, or People no matter how prominent their backgrounds are, all have an inferiority side. The key to is that once the level of inferiority is unbalanced or excessive, it will cruelly destroy a person's life and make people become ineffective.
I used to be a "senior inferiority patient". I know all the pains of low self-esteem, such as being negatively depressed, easy to think more, suffering from gains and losses, not daring to express myself directly, afraid of others’ eyes and evaluations, like to please others, fearful of doing things, indecisive, full of my own future Worrying... During the time when
was stuck in inferiority complex, I resisted interacting with girls who were beautiful or capable, because I felt that standing next to their glamorous bodies would make me look even more bleak; I often shrugged off various invitations from friends And gatherings, because I am afraid of losing face and being looked down upon, the circle of friends has become narrower; I dare not express my true thoughts in public, and I am afraid of being "different" and being attacked by others.
If you have also experienced inferiority complex times, or are currently in an inferiority complex, you must understand what I am talking about and what happened to me.
But destiny is not static. No matter how good or bad the foundation is, you must be brave to climb, rather than compromise. So, in my more than two decades of getting along with the tormenting inferiority complex, I slowly figured out its temperament-
inferiority, like a spring, if you are strong, it will be weak, and if you are weak, it will be strong.
The best solution is to use a strong self to resist its harm and influence on you.
When I was soberly aware of this, I spent a long time to overcome the problem of inferiority complex. Fortunately, my efforts were not in vain. First of all, I accepted that I was an "inferiority complex" person, and also learned how to treat "inferiority complex" in a correct way. While learning to reconcile with my true self, I also gradually figured out a set of methods to quickly get rid of inferiority complex and restore self-confidence.
01/Strive to improve one's external image
In this social background where the appearance is dominant, it is difficult for us to use "inner beauty" such pale and weak words to make up for our reasons for not paying attention to external appearances and not acting.
Maybe you would say, don’t be affected by this complicated society, don’t follow blindly, just be yourself. Once upon a time, I thought so too. As long as you have connotations, there is nothing shabby on the outside.
Later, I gradually understood that if a person can manage his appearance carefully, then he must be self-disciplined and demanding of himself. Such a person will definitely not do too much in his career or other aspects. difference.
"How do you live a day, how do you live your life" says: "I have to admit that there is an advantage to looking good. Even if you don’t look good, you must learn to dress up to make yourself look good. Because of the spirit. When you look better, you will have fewer difficulties, even if there are a lot of them, you will be much more advanced.”
In the process of practicing the beauty revolution myself, I deeply understood the truth in this sentence.
Becoming beautiful is by no means an easy task. It requires you to have a strong self-discipline: only by controlling your diet can you control your weight; only by exercising can ensure energetic and beautiful complexion; you also need to understand some aesthetic concepts , In order to find the dressing with , hairstyle and so on that suit your style. If
is a girl, you have to learn how to take care of your skin scientifically, how to make-up, and learn professional knowledge about perfume, underwear, etc., so that you can better choose the right items and be a charming woman from the inside out. This process of
requires a lot of thought, energy, and some financial effort. But its rewards are also huge.
like me. A while ago, I learned how to dress and match clothes with my heart. Now when I go out, people often tell me sincerely: Your clothes are really good-looking, where can I buy them? Even though I wearThey are moderately priced clothes, because they are well-matched and look high-end. Many people think that the price I bought is very expensive.
Believe me, praise from others can really increase self-confidence, bring lasting good mood, and effectively improve self-esteem.
When dealing with looks, we must understand that looking good is given by the genes of our parents, and looking beautiful is created by our own efforts. On the way you become beautiful, it is also a process in which your body and mind are united and transformed. The more beautiful you look, the more respect you can get from people around you. Z1z has revealed a positive message all over your body: I am living with my heart, and I am trying to create beauty.
02/Use the "Zhou Harry Window" to show yourself appropriately
Recently, I applied for an offline course on the topic "Public Expression". In class, I found a lot of introverted and taciturn classmates, most of them have a deep inferiority complex. They are self-closed, unwilling to show their inner thoughts, and do not like to take the initiative. They are more passively waiting for others to communicate with themselves, and even deliberately avoiding communication with others. There is a saying in
: “A truly free person can refuse an invitation to dinner without an excuse.” Many related psychological studies have shown that the more a person deliberately hides himself and does not like to associate with others, the harder it is for others to walk into him In his heart, his interpersonal relationship is more dangerous. And a person's mental health is inseparable from the support of good interpersonal relationships.
There is a theory in the field of psychology called "Zhou Hari Window". This theory assumes that there are four areas of self-knowledge:
open area: the part that you know and the people around you also know.
Blind spot: about yourself, the part that others know, but you don't clearly realize.
hidden area: the part that others don't know about yourself, but you know about yourself.
Unknown area: the part that people around you don’t know about yourself.
The author of the book "Appropriate Self-esteem" said: As long as a person's "open zone" expands, his self-esteem will increase.
Increased self-esteem means that a person's self-confidence is increased, and one is further away from the entanglement of inferiority.
Before, I was also a severely self-enclosed person. I closed my circle of friends all year round. I didn’t want to express or interact with friends. As time passed, I seemed to be a transparent person. No one knew what my job was. How has it grown over the years. I have no influence in the circle of friends, and no one remembers me.
Later, an elder said to me earnestly that young people must know how to show themselves and behave appropriately. Now everyone is very busy and there is no time to get to know you personally. If you can take the initiative to let everyone see your highlights , Your growth, what you are doing, others will know what you lack, and when you encounter difficulties or need to cooperate, they also know how to help you or how to cooperate with you.
Now I already know how to run my own circle of friends, know how to properly display my concept of life, and boldly tell everyone what kind of life I want to live, what I am studying, what kind of goals I want to achieve... those Friends who have not been in contact for many years are gradually resurrected in my "circle". My display attracts friends who are also working hard and seeking change.
Therefore, please remember: In the "Zhou Hari Window", try to slowly transform your blind zone, hidden zone, and unknown zone into open zones. Then more and more people who understand you will appreciate You will have more and more people, and you will be able to find close friends and establish long-term and stable relationships.
03/Try your best to develop your own specialties
It’s really important to have specialties. It can boost your self-confidence one hundred and eighty degrees!
Really, as long as you pay attention to life, you will find that people with specialties look particularly confident, cool and attractive! For example, those who are engaged in art singing and dancing, those who are good at speaking, those who are good at photography or are good at making money...
But one thing to note is that this specialty of is different from that you just use it as a tool for making a living. It must be something you really love, and if you do it well, it will bring you a great sense of accomplishment. .
For example, I started to learn writing systematically this year. Although I haven't gained much benefit, my writing level has finally improved. In the process of writing, I felt very at ease in my heart, and a firm belief emerged from the bottom of my heart. From that moment on, I knew that writing is my armor and hiding in it can heal many wounds.
is no longer the same as before. In some cases, I have to fill in the "specialty" in the form. I look at the form and scratch my head. What else do I know besides working diligently? At that time, dissatisfaction and attacks against yourself will rise in your heart, and you will feel that you can't do anything or can't do anything well, resulting in a strong self-disgust.
has strengths and confidence. is now going out to make friends and need to introduce myself or something. I can proudly say that my hobby and specialty is writing. Because this is what I love and is also on the road of building a good one step by step, this has become a source of my confidence.
/I heard the conclusion from Blue/
There is a sentence in "Shawshank's Redemption", "When one day you can tell your suffering with a smile, it means you are mature. Z1z" Same, if you can be in public Telling your own experience of low self-esteem also proves that you have accepted yourself and become more mature and responsible.
Finally, I would like to encourage you: the best self-confidence is to trust yourself unconditionally, to trust yourself to face all unknown things, to respect yourself, and to look upon yourself. I hope you and I can become more confident selves. Never give up the passion to live.
[Original is not easy, plagiarism must be investigated. The author @听见蓝说, a lifelong dream practitioner who loves to write, chopping wood and feeding horses, writing and practicing. The growth is endless, and I am willing to be a fellow traveler with you. 】Z3z
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