text/Learning is the treasure of the body
, the well-known psychologist Wu Zhihong said: "There is only one kind of success in life, that is, to live your own life according to your own wishes."
However, living according to your own wishes is not one An easy thing.
Because it requires courage, both the courage to make a choice and the courage to refuse.
Today’s article, let’s talk about how to live your own life.
1. We can only be responsible for our own choices.
Everyone’s life will be a little unhappy, including sense of meaninglessness, feeling of being forced, and various feelings of emptiness, etc. But we must know that these are not created by past experiences. Nor is it caused by others or society.
For example, because of the neglect of childhood parents and the extreme lack of love, some people will not deal with the current relationship, and become depressed. They feel that this is all brought up by the original family; for social reasons, there are not many books and the income is very low. Life has no meaning and value. I think this is caused by external factors, but in fact, these are the results of our own choices.
In other words, as an independent person, everything in life now, whether it is beautiful or ugly, is our own responsibility, because we always have the right to choose.
As the individual psychologist Adler said: "The inferiority complex is just an excuse" because they themselves have no courage to move forward.
From this perspective, those who say they can’t live according to their own wishes, to a large extent, lack the courage to make choices, because some people use themselves to live well enough to make excuses for not working hard. .
2. We must learn to respect our own feelings
People often say that people have two ways of living, one is to live for others, to meet their expectations, and to revolve around the feelings of others; the other is to live for oneself and meet their own needs , Revolving around their own feelings, but many people are the first way to live, because they lack the courage to refuse.
In other words, they are used to follow their parents’ feelings since childhood, and obtain love by satisfying their parents’ expectations. When they grow up, in order to be recognized and affirmed by others, they rarely pay attention to their own feelings, and always follow the ideas and ideas of others. Evaluation is mainly because they are afraid of losing the attention of others.
After all, they just can't be themselves.
American-born psychologist Rogers believes that the so-called oneself is the sum of all past life experiences of a person.
If we are passively participating in these life experiences, or the result of other people’s will, we will feel that we have not been ourselves; on the contrary, if these life experiences are the result of our active participation and our own choices, we will It feels like being yourself.
can see that whether we are ourselves, our own feeling is the key. To be yourself and live for yourself, you must learn to respect your own feelings.
3. The so-called success is to live your own life.
Teacher Wu Zhihong said that if we want to live happily, the most important thing is to nurture this feeling-"I can realize my inner wishes in the external world".
At this time, if you want to do whatever you want, just do it. You want to be the kind of person you want to be. You can live your life like this.
First of all, we need to know what we want to do and who we want to be.
In other words, many people do not "success" because they themselves do not know how to live.
From this perspective, thinking about "how to live" is the first step.
In fact, it is to find the meaning of one's life. Here you can refer to the three ways that Frankel gave in the book "The Meaning of Living Life": one is to create a certain job or engage in a certain career; the other is By experiencing something or facing someone; the third is a positive attitude taken when enduring inevitable suffering.
In short, it is to find the person or thing that you care about most. Everyone can live their own unique mission and life meaning that others cannot replace.
Next, we must dare to refuse and muster the courage to live for ourselves.
When we know why we live, we are likely to encounter obstacles, such as opposition from family members, or restrictions on our own conditions, etc., and we need to have the courage to face it.. On the one hand,
dare to speak for yourself and respect your inner choices; on the other hand, you have to take action to improve yourself and really make changes for "success".
Life is short, focusing on yourself, daring to try and make mistakes, focusing on the future, and seeing the power of time, these all require courage to bear.
As Teacher Wu said: "Everyone comes to this world to live out himself."
Once again, we must realize the importance of our feelings. The feeling of
can be understood as a person's spiritual embryo.
In other words, if the spiritual embryo of each life is fully developed, it will become himself.
Maybe many people live according to the will of their parents when they are young, and their feelings are often ignored, but it doesn’t matter, because as adults, we have grown up and have the ability to live according to our own feelings. So, from now on, we will value our own feelings. Feel, protect your feelings, so that you can nourish your spiritual embryo.
Of course, living according to your own wishes and living your own life is not an easy thing. You will experience various pains during this period, but don't forget that it is worthwhile.
Socrates said that life without scrutiny is not worth living.
But in my opinion, a life without seriousness is not worth examining.
hope that we can all live earnestly and live our lives.
End of this article
Thank you for reading
