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Text: Shili
Illustration: From the Internet
Some people say that the current marriage is very strange, it seems that it is not a combination of two people, but an exchange of interests, to give a very simple example, a man wants to find a beautiful person A woman or a woman with a high degree of education, and a woman wants to find a man with good financial conditions.
So when they see the opposite sex that meets their conditions, they will want to contact them. As for whether the other person is suitable for them, they seem to have never thought about it. This phenomenon of
is actually very common in life. It is no wonder that everyone has a certain fear of marriage. After all, in some people's ideas, marriage seems to have deteriorated.
Compared to using marriage as a bargaining chip, women's performance seems to be a bit more aggressive than men's.
In real life, we often see a strange logic-a strange logic from women. For example, if you don't take advantage, you will suffer. If you don't get the advantage, you will stick to it. This kind of thinking is indeed a bit confusing and puzzled.
To give a very simple example, a woman asks for a dowry, and a man does not want to give the dowry, or gives less, just a process. In this case, the man either did not give the dowry or gave a little dowry, but Women have absolutely no expressions.
Anyone can see at a glance that women are absolutely not at a disadvantage, but there are still women who feel that this behavior is just a post.
If you don't take advantage, you will suffer. If you don't get the advantage, you will be inverted. You have to get something from marriage to balance. Women with this kind of thinking, can marriage really be happy?
Luo Miao is 27 years old this year and has been married for two years. She and her husband are considered to be married rather than married, because they are both only children.
However, they are not only children from big cities, but only children from small cities. They met when they were in college. They were just classmates at that time. Later, because of work, they got in touch again. After some setbacks, they decided to be together.
They didn't want to return to their hometown, they wanted to stay in this big city and work hard, and let their children win at the starting line in the future, so they decided to buy a house in this place.
Everyone knows how expensive house prices are in big cities, so both parents decided to contribute. In the end, the husband’s family paid 500,000, and their family paid 300,000. They paid for a house and wrote about them. The names of two people.
As for the decoration money, the couple earned themselves. There was no gift or dowry. They got married like this and they have a very happy family.
Two years have passed, and they have been doing very well. The baby was taken by grandma and grandmother at first. Now she can jump and run away, so they hired a nanny and they can see the baby when they get home every day. Both of them have jobs, and their incomes have been increasing over the past two years. They both graduated from very good universities, and their future is promising.
Luo Miao is very satisfied with her life. She is also satisfied with her marriage. She is very fortunate that she has met her husband, so she can have a happy family.
can be said by some of her relatives, that’s another result. Many people say that Luo Miao is an upside-down post. Luo Miao is worthless, because there is no betrothal gift when he gets married and he buys a house with the man’s family. It's too uneconomical, too bad.
Luo Miao gets very angry whenever she hears such words. She didn’t say much because of all kinds of emotions. After all, everyone is relatives, but when she went back to her hometown some time ago, she heard another relative say this. .
probably means that her husband’s family is really cost-effective to marry a daughter-in-law, and there is no need to give a bride price, and even the house wife’s family has to pay part of the money.
Luo Miao said very angrily, "What are your three views? I don’t have a gift. I paid for the house, but I didn’t suffer. If I didn’t take advantage, I didn’t suffer. What kind of logic is this? Isn’t it marriage? In order to find someone to live with, is it just to take advantage of the man?"
She left her relatives speechless in a few words, but then again, in the minds of some people in their hometown, they really think so. The main reason is that families with daughters will speak loudly when they get married. Either ask for a big gift, or ask for your name on the real estate certificate.
No matter what kind of request, you must get it, otherwise you will feel that your daughter has lost.
In this society with many boys and few girls, many girls’ requirements can be met. After all, families with sons also hope that their son can get married, so even if the woman’s request is somewhat unreasonable, they can try their best to satisfy .
But Luo Miao is very uncomfortable with this kind of behavior. She feels that this kind of behavior is fostering some bad habits. Although she herself is a woman, she still feels that marriage should be based on equality.
The reason why two people get married should be because they love each other, it should be to be able to be together for a long time and build a happy family, not to get something out of this marriage.
If you think about getting benefits from marriage from the beginning, then this kind of marriage is naturally impure. Once impure marriage, how can you get a happy ending? Luo Miao has witnessed this matter firsthand. of.
She has a friend who married for the man's betrothal gift. It is said that the man's family gave a gift of 180,000 yuan, but the two of them did not love each other. After about five years, the man has achieved great success in his career. , So he took the initiative to file for divorce.
Everyone thinks that men's behavior is very excessive, but who has investigated the whole thing, from the beginning, they have no feelings, and they are all together because of the exchange of interests.
If this is the case, now that men have achieved success in their careers, they are naturally reluctant to make such an exchange, or in other words, can exchange for a better partner, so they decide to leave.
We do not advocate this kind of behavior, but we should understand how this kind of behavior is caused, everything has a cause, if it is not because she herself regards marriage as a bargaining chip, she has to get benefits from marriage and hurt the other person’s heart , How can we get such a result?
The real meaning of marriage is not to ask for, but to pay.
Many people don’t understand this truth, so they never get happiness from the beginning to the end, or even if they get it, it is only short-lived. After all, no one wants to take their own happiness. Exchange, or treat marriage as a transaction.
If you just want to get what you want from marriage, then you have to think about it from the other side's standpoint. If you were him, what choice would you make? Would you fall in love with a woman like this?
If you want a happy marriage, you must know how to give. Only when both spouses contribute to the marriage and put themselves in the hands of each other can they stay together for a long time and build a happy family.
Why do some people stay together for two or three years and eventually have to separate? The reason is that their starting point was wrong from the beginning, and they have never regarded marriage as a lifetime event.
They got married not to want a family, but to get a certain benefit from this marriage.
In this case, marriage is no longer a marriage, but a transaction, and all transactions are inherently unstable. The two people who go because of you will eventually get separated by profit. This is the simplest truth.
hopes that everyone can understand this truth, and in the future, can learn to pay, everyone must remember that marriage is not a bargaining chip, nor is it a way to change life.
Marriage is to find someone you love to live with, and then build a happy family. Only in this way can you be happy.
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Today’s topic: "Do you think it is right"?
