. I always like to be "in a daze", oh no, I'm "wandering around"
. My head is like a small motor with a broken switch. This kind of thoughts and pictures carousel in my mind
Have you ever had such thoughts?
often wonder what I did wrong? Where did you say the wrong thing?
think that the people around you don’t like me, against me?
Why hasn't he responded to me? Do you hate me?
always feel that there is something in the leader's words, and his eyes are meaningful?
After reading it, you might be thinking, "Oh my god, why is every one said me"
Look, you are thinking about
Once there was a study found that we spend 47% of our time thinking with us What I’m doing now has nothing to do with
. I have to say that "crank thinking" does consume a lot of time and energy
but it doesn’t matter
. Then I will talk to you in detail, , why do we think about it, and how Get rid of, escape from the sensitive and suspicious circle
01 Are you thinking about it?
I guess you must have had such an experience before
z7 I didn’t do it. Actually,
Energy is the same as physical strength.
This is why you seem to have done nothing on the surface, but you are still tired.
In random thinking, negative emotions consume a person's energy the most, such as anxiety, sadness, depression, anger, fear...
For example, you are imagining that "confession rejected" is more energy-consuming than "male/goddess also likes me"
This kind of crazy thinking, such as the phenomenon that energy is consumed internally, such as the phenomenon of internal consumption, such as internal consumption, is called internal consumption
z0 I was unhappy with my friends before, and I couldn't help but wonder, is he wrong or am I wrong?
was at the dinner, did I say something wrong? Will they misunderstand me?
Does he love me or not? Why do you send me home if you don’t love me, buy me something delicious, and why do you always reply to emoji when you love me?
broke up with his predecessor, still a little sad, thinking, "What if we didn't go back then, would we not break up?"
There was a verbal error in the speech just now, so embarrassing, would they laugh at me?
In such an emotional circle, you feel that you can no longer think about these messy things. It's a waste of time. You want to study and work, but you find that your brain doesn't follow your instructions!
Don’t worry, let’s first understand the reason for the brain's cranky, which is more conducive to solving this problem.
02 for the reason
Do you know?
There are two kinds of consciousness to control attention
One is conscious, that is, conscious and controllable consciousness
and the other is subconscious, which is not easily conscious and uncontrollable.
is like all kinds of plans we make, and the goals are all under the effect of conscious consciousness. Being in a daze, fantasizing, distracting, etc. is the role of the subconscious mind
such as
Consciousness: Today’s study plan has not been completed yet, so I have to learn quickly
3zz subconscious 3zzzz zzzz : Z2z can't do it, the more difficult it is, the more difficult it will be . Subconscious: I'm in charge of . I'm not in the mood. I want to watch the drama . Conscious: Why doesn't he reply to me? Should be busy? subconscious: can be busy for two hours without reading WeChat? I think he just doesn't care about you Consciously: Is it useful for me to learn this? subconscious: is optimistic that many people have failed. What should I do if I can't get any rewards? When the subconscious mind defeats the conscious mind, we will fall into a state of negative emotions, unable to control emotions, and unable to concentrate on work and study. What about such efficient learning and work as ? I must have guessed that means that consciously reverses defeat and wins and stays in the "C position" state When you are completely immersed in study or work, you enter the state of flow What is flow? When you are immersed in what is doing at the moment or a certain goal, you can concentrate fully on it, fully immerse yourself in it, and enjoy a mental state Recall before you forget to sleep in order to read novels or do other favorite things. When you eat and forget everything around you, you have entered the state of flow Now you know that the essence of cranky thinking is that the subconscious mind is doing bad things, and if you want to get rid of it, as long as helps the conscious mind to be "loved", so as to ensure that we can enter at any time In the flow state , is the thinking clear? So let's take a look, what are the ways to avoid random thinking? Method one: divert attention Now, let’s play a little game zzzz0 You see, the brain is so magical, it will automatically appear in your mind about the outside information As long as the outside information is more interesting, if you don’t pay attention, it will steal your attention More typical example For example, What should you do if you want to coax a crying child? You can make a grimace for him, tease him with a toy, tell him a joke, and the child will be amused in an instant. We know that the child has no "moral awareness" and is restricted by "sensibility". Cry, laugh when you are happy, based on your own instincts , so we can stop the spread of negative emotions in our brains as long as we take out the method to deal with childrenThen you can successfully grab your attention ①: Things that you can devote yourself easily ②: I like things very much, and you will be happy when you touch them ③: Things I have always wanted to do, but have not been written on the small paper zz Stick it in a conspicuous position on the top of the bar. When you start thinking about it, do these things For example, you can easily get into the state of painting when you are thinking about it. Just take out the sketch paper and paintbrush and start your own creation. If you like to watch variety shows, when you are thinking about it, open your favorite variety show and heal yourself or You want to buy a piece of clothing, but you always If you don’t buy it, then go shopping for a set of clothes you like online. Everyone always forgets when shopping . In short, when you realize that you are thinking about your own randomness, look for these three aspects to help you divert your attention. It can help you to a large extent to get rid of the random thoughts Method two, change the perspective The emergence of random thoughts, to a large extent z comes from the angle of looking at your colleague 2zz zzzzzzzzzzzz zzzz z0 Take care of you 03 How to get rid of random thinking
What would you think?
One is: "Why does he disrespect people? You are rude, do you despise me?"
The other is: "He may have too many things and didn't pay attention to me"
Then, for example,
you send a message to a friend What do you think if you haven't received a reply for two hours?
One is: "Why does he ignore me? Does he treat me as a friend?"
The other is: "He may be busy, but he is not free now"
These two different perspectives will bring two kinds of perfection Different emotional experiences
What should we do?
Use the perspective of others to look at problems (others can be your friends, your idols, your teachers, and your family)
When many people analyze painful experiences, is easy to start from the perspective of self and they will reflect How the incident happened, this is to replay what happened, but it will make us more painful
and if we look at the painful experience from the perspective of a third party (bystander perspective), can often reconstruct our own experience It can provide new perspectives and ways to interpret events. Why does it happen when you reflect on the event? Instead of how it happened
, the conclusions obtained are naturally different, and the emotional experience is also different.
For example,
You find that there is something in the leader's words, and the look in the eyes is profound. Did I do something wrong? Then I started all kinds of endless imagination "
from the perspective of the beholder". I think too much. If it is really something I did not do well, just try to improve. You can’t change anything by just thinking. It’s better to take action to improve your ability to work."
And in real life, friends tell us about his troubles. In most cases, we think "This is not a big deal." ", but my friend feels very painful and frustrated
. This largely depends onDifferent from our perspective, , when you jump out of your own perspective, imagine what would happen if my friend, my idol, encountered such a thing? What kind of view will you hold?
When you do this, you will find that the big things of sesame mung bean are not worth sad at all.
Method three, heal the past, fear the present, worry about the future thoughts
z zz0 Regret the past: "If I didn't do that, the result might be different" "At the beginning, if I worked harder, I might be admitted to graduate school" fear now: " What should I do?" "This thing is too difficult, I don't want to do it" worry about the future: "I don't have money now, what can I do later?" "Z2z ... Although we know that no matter whether it is regretting the past, fearing the present, or worrying about the future, it is meaningless, but we still unconsciously enter the negative emotions So what should we do? The reason why we regret the past is mostly because we think that if we can go back to three years ago, we will not have the same choice as before But do you find that people are always changing and growing from the perspective of the problem It is also constantly iterating the cognition of three years ago, of course, it is not as comprehensive as your current cognition For example, three years ago, you hated reading, hated learning, and spent every day in the game and when you experienced something Things, you realize the importance of learning, you become hardworking, and you are motivated . There needs to be a process . Many people always regret it, thinking "If I worked hard early, it would not be what I am today." Even if you go back to the past, nothing will change, because that was your best wisdom at the time, the decision you made In the past, you made the choice based on your past knowledge, dear, please forgive the past The reason why our own is worried about the future is because the future is uncontrollable. We don’t know what our future is like . Is it useful to worry about it? Can worry make the future better? Obviously not and what we need to know is that has created our present in the past three years, which can no longer be changed, and our efforts now will achieve our future. is now controllable, instead of thinking about something meaningless , It is better to grasp the present now and create a wonderful future! Method four, increase the dimension of life Don’t let yourself have only one dimension of life Everyone’s life is multi-faceted, with family, family, love, love, 2, zzzz... Only focus on one dimension, then whenever there is a little movement in this dimension, your world will be shaken around , for example, we don’t really understandThose love brains, without men, die every day because they put all the dimensions of life in love. For a while, I put all the dimensions on the exam preparation, almost zero social, also I don’t take the initiative to contact my family members. I spend my time every day listening to class and brushing the questions. You may think this is very good. But the problem is, if I have some problems with my studies and fail the exam, I It feels like my whole world has collapsed. Maybe you will ask "As for?" At the beginning, I will answer you "as for" , because at the beginning, there was only an exam in my world. My life will be ruined. Once think about it now, the really ridiculous exam is just a small dimension in life, as well as occupations, interests, hobbies, social interactions and other dimensions so, we will try to increase Other dimensions of life For example, if you are in love with , don’t forget to hang out with your friends. If you’re tired of studying, you should develop a hobby. Life and entertainment are very fulfilling. Don’t forget to contact your family more , Don’t let your life have only one dimension, at least two . The more life dimensions you have, the more stable you are, so that you will put the time of cranky thinking on another fulcrum instead of dying with yourself Method five, no Confrontation, accept the existence of cranky Maybe many people will be surprised to see this title but you know what? When people try to control themselves not to think about something, they think more The experimenter once did an experiment, he told 17 college students, "You can think about anything, but don't think about the white bear" Usually, it is difficult for them to think of the white bear, because their brains are full of emotions, entertainment, and examinations. However, whenever they try to think of other things, their thinking will involuntarily return to the white bear . This is for most people. How difficult it is to say "I tried my best to think about other things besides the white bear, I thought and thought, so... um... um... hey, look at this brown wall, it looks like It’s like... whenever I try not to think of a white bear, I actually always think about it", One subject said , such as . Have you ever had it? When you encounter an upset, you work hard You restrain yourself and don’t think about it. As a result, the annoying thing is like "rooted" in your brain, lingering , like . You watched a horror movie, and when you sleep at night, tell yourself not to think about it. Horror movies that make your scalp numb, but the more you control you, the horrible pictures will reappear one after another You want to try to get rid of this annoying thing, but he flies back like a dart Explaining the many failures of modern people The more insomnia patients want to fall asleep, the more awake they find themselves The more a lover wants to forget a person, but the more they can’t forget Worried people try to get rid of anxiety, but fall into difficulties again and again Fantasy Why is this? and "don't think" is related to the instruction This instruction is divided into two parts: , one part to let yourself not think about it, this requires self-control and consumes a lot of energy and energy. This process is called "operation" Then look for evidence to prove that I did not think about it, but was thinking about something elseThings, it runs automatically, without consuming a lot of experience. This process is "monitoring" and . When "monitoring" searches for banned content, it will remind people of the target they are looking for. is like . People who always can’t help leaking secrets The waiter who tries hard not to overturn the plate is most likely to get the sauce on the shirt. The "monitoring" was originally meant to remind you not to do this, but it caused it. The subconscious mind attaches great importance to this matter Neuroscientists point out that the subconscious mind of the brain keeps thinking about prohibited content. As a result of doing this, you will think of feeling or doing what you are trying to avoid So how can we get rid of this What about this dilemma? Give up self-control. When we no longer control those unwanted thoughts and emotions, they won’t bother you. This is a bit contradictory . It’s like you are broken in love. You can’t forget, and if you can accept yourself to think of him, it will reduce the possibility of you thinking of him. The more you suppress negative emotions, the more likely you are to become depressed. Frustration Let it go and live in peace with negative emotions When you no longer confront your own thoughts and emotions, you will have more freedom I really like it when I think a lot of things like z7, zz0 Before going to bed at night and before getting up in the morning, I think about many things. I think nothing more than "my own past, present and future, as well as other people's attitudes and opinions about myself, and some problems in interpersonal relations" but nothing has changed. I wasted time and energy, thinking about some meaningless things Life is still the original life, the relationship is the original relationship Instead of , it’s better to put the time of cranky thinking on yourself, be strong yourself, and be diligent yourself. When it gets better and better, naturally I will no longer worry about the bigger things like sesame mung beans I have to make a hundred million How can I have time to think about these things? Right?
