Q1
After a colleague becomes a lover, there is no passion. Is
wrong to regard the warmth of a colleague as love?
My former colleague and I have a good opinion of each other. He is two years older than me, but he has never been in a relationship, and I have had a failed relationship before. I just want to find someone mature enough to treat me sincerely. After he confessed to me, we spent a month together, but I felt that he didn't care about me very much. I want to end this relationship, but I am worried about missing him. I want to give this relationship more time. I am also very scared that it is not love between us. Maybe it's just that we have been single for too long and mistaken the warmth between our colleagues for love. So for this relationship, should I continue?
A
First of all, you can ask yourself, does this relationship meet your requirements for love? Obviously, you have already answered this question in your question, and the answer is no. But you are questioning yourself, because in your opinion, feelings are better than none. I am afraid that this kind of thinking will not bring you happiness. As for the choice of feelings, my advice will always be: Ningque not overrun. When you realize that there is a problem in this relationship, you should follow your heart, make a timely break, and never have any expectations for a man who doesn't care about you.
99% of the men in this world can't fit you perfectly. So love is a Sudoku game, and each grid has only one correct answer. If you are sure that the person in front of you is not suitable for you, then get to know more men until you meet the one who really suits you.
Q2
What if there is no "right to speak" in the relationship? Boyfriend
is a constant chatter. Once I start talking, I don’t want to stop. I can’t get in at all. The phone conversation between two people becomes a unilateral speech. Is this a serious problem?
A
Everyone has his own way of communication. Maybe he just likes this way of continuous output, or maybe he doesn't realize that this way of communication is causing you trouble. First judge what kind of situation he belongs to.
When you are alone with him, you can tell him directly that your communication is his unilateral output, and you have no chance to express yourself. If he is surprised by this and decides to change himself, then this becomes a great opportunity to increase your emotional intimacy. But if he does not respond to this, it means that his requirement of his partner is to be able to listen to him all the time. Then in your relationship, your needs are inconsistent with each other, which is a very serious problem. The answer lies in your heart. Maybe you need and deserve a partner who treats yourself equally.
With love,
Your Joy
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JOY Chen Yu
Chinese-American businessman
Former Deputy Mayor of Los Angeles
International Elite CE0 Headhunter
Best-selling author Author:
"Don't Get Married Before 30"
"Take Advantage of the Situation at 30"
