can find before marriage, don't just see it after marriage.
"My First Half of Life" wrote such a sentence:
"Marriage has nothing to do with love. People always think that marriage happens naturally after love matures, but they don't know that marriage is just a way of life."
Marriage is different from love. This determines that not all couples suitable for love can become happy couples.
After all, when two people decide to fall in love, the issues to consider are nothing more than whether they like each other or not, including when they are in love, the issues to consider are where to go on a date next time and what clothes to wear on a date.. .
But in marriage, the issues to consider are different.
The issues to be considered in marriage include whether two people are suitable for living together, whether they can get along with their families after marriage, whether they have consistent living habits, and so on.
These issues are the key to determining the happiness of two people's marriage. After all, marriage is a way of life, not a continuation of love.
Therefore, some problems after marriage should be discovered before marriage, so that they can be avoided.
And in love, there is really a simple way to solve the problems that two people will encounter after marriage—try to live with each other.
01.
When living together, it’s easier to see each other’s attitude towards marriage.
The process of being in love is actually the process of looking at each other with colored glasses. Because of the distance between two people, they cherish the time together. Will not show the true self.
is like an average couple when they are dating. Few girls go on a date without makeup or tidy up, and few boys are too casual.
However, although the beauty produced by this distance can maintain the freshness of love, it may lead to insufficient understanding of each other, and even thinking of each other too well.
is like when a girl is in love, her stomach hurts and her boyfriend reminds her to drink hot water, and her uncomfortable boyfriend will accompany her, because the time is short, that person is willing to behave like this.
But when two people live together, many things may change, and you will have a different understanding of the other person.
may have said that the person who asked you to "drink more hot water" after living with you also asked you to drink more hot water, but just said that he didn't even want to pour a cup of hot water.
includes when living together, maybe that person will cherish your contribution at first, and then become more and more casual, taking your contribution as it should be.
At this time, many people may think that not living together is the way to keep love fresh.
But if two people really want to get married, these things will be discovered sooner or later. Does that person treat you as a lover or as a nanny? Does he want to take care of you or want to be taken care of by you? Only when living together Will find out. The
method of finding problems in advance is not only suitable for girls to observe whether their spouse really loves themselves before they want to get married, but also for boys to observe whether their spouse is really suitable for living with them.
Marriage is not a play house. Some mistakes can be discovered in advance, and it is better than being unable to change.
02.
can live together to prove that two people are really suitable.
remember that there is a saying:
"It is easy to fall in love because the facial features are obvious; it is too difficult to get along because the three views are hidden."
will What makes two people feel unsuitable is not only unsuitable in the general direction, but mismatches in many small details can also make them feel very tired.
Take the consumption concept as an example. When in love, boys feel that it doesn’t matter if they spend a little more money. After all, dating is not a daily appointment, and two people do not meet every day.
But after living together, if girls are still unwilling to give, and always feel that boys should support themselves, it may not be acceptable for convenience.
includes two people in a long-distance relationship. If one person wants to sleep, the other person will only say "good night".
But when you really live together, when you sleep at different times, wake up at different times, and have different living habits, it is difficult to live on because it is too tiring to get along.
is like some time ago, a reader friend asked me: I have been with my boyfriend for two years, and lived together for three months. What should I do if I suddenly feel that it is not so suitable?
Originally, when two people met, there were too many things to say, and it was easy to get along with each other. After
really lived together, her boyfriend played games every day after work, which made her lose hope for her boyfriend a little bit. In addition, when her boyfriend was unwilling to clean up the mess at home, she just felt very tired.
So, the two people who used to say nothing but have nothing to say at home. When girls are reading, boys are playing games, while girls are doing housework, boys are still playing games.
originally wanted to persuade her to communicate with her boyfriend. She said, “Forget it, it’s really unsuitable if you don’t live together.”
actually feels like this. How long can two people go is not in love. How love is when there is time, but when there is contradiction, how irreconcilable the contradiction is.
When you really can't stand the shortcomings of your partner, you can't say that the other person is not good, but it can prove that the person is not suitable for you, at least not suitable for living with you.
03.
remember that in "In the Mood for Love", there is a classic line saying:
"I never thought that marriage is so complicated, and I thought it would be fine for one person to do well, but two people are together, just oneself It is not enough to do well."
Whether it is in love or after marriage, the relationship between two people cannot be achieved by one person no matter how hard they work.
When you think that if you give a little more, the relationship can be maintained, you may feel extra tired when you continue to give; when you think that when you bear a little grievance, the relationship will remain the same, you may feel constantly When you are wronged, you will especially want to leave.
When the thought of leaving becomes more and more intense, the end of marriage is to divorce. This is the best solution when two people are "not suitable".
However, a breakup is always better than a divorce.
Therefore, if you love someone, don't be too naive. After living together, you must judge whether the other person is suitable for you. Living together for a period of time is also a way to avoid many problems after marriage.
