"Book of Rites" writes: "It is not polite to contact; it is not polite to come and not."
China is a country of great human sentiment, and it is also a country of etiquette.
But everything is mutual, and it is even more difficult for people in middle age. Some unnecessary gifts are really unnecessary.
Favors are greater than debts. If you don’t know how to refuse, whatever courtesy you can do will make your life worse. When you need help, you will find that there is no one behind you. In middle age, you can only rely on yourself .
Sui Li was originally a tradition. Relatives at home, friends who walked close to each other, there are celebrations and celebrations. Everyone is willing to be there and give each other face, but today's Sui Li has long since changed its taste, and some have become tools for collecting money. It became an occasion for comparison.
It’s not easy to make money. It takes minutes to spend money. People in middle age should keep their money bags. If you don’t follow the gifts, don’t follow it, because if you spend some money, it doesn’t make any sense.
is just for the gift of making money.
is also very particular about holding a banquet. Not everything is worth holding a banquet. The person who calls is usually his own. People who walk closer are not for making money, but just to make their own people feel happy. Picture a happy.
But nowadays, some people hold banquets every other time, and those who are familiar and unfamiliar will call over, obviously just to make money.
My cousin is such a person. In this year, he has hosted three banquets, one for his birthday, one for the birth of his son’s second child, and one for his granddaughter’s first birthday. Every time at the banquet, relatives are all The complaints were full. After all, the relatives who came to pay the gift money were not too small, but the quality of the dishes at the banquet was worrying, and there was no decent return. Uncle
usually treats other relatives’ courtesy, is to hide if you can hide, but if you can’t hide, you just pack two hundred, but when it’s your turn, you call it all the time, no matter whether you are in normal or not, it is obviously bad intentions. , Just to make money, in this year, he made at least 30,000 or 40,000 just by catering. When
encounters such a gift, no matter your relatives, classmates or friends, don’t just follow along. It’s just a trick. You don’t have to spend too much money, so why bother to get angry.
Gifts from classmates and friends who have lost contact for a long time
We will meet a lot of people along the way. We have classmates and friends. But just getting acquainted doesn't mean that the relationship is good. More often, only a few, most classmates and friends are left. It's just a nodding acquaintance.
People still rely on fate. People who get closer are of course courtesy and affection. But for those who are drifting away, don't force it anymore and adapt to the situation.
When you meet long-lost classmates and friends, it’s really unnecessary to give you invitations. You know that the future intersection between you is zero, and no matter how much money you pay, it’s just a waste of money. Don’t I'm sorry to refuse, but he shouldn't have called you.
usually disappears. When there is something in your family, even if he hears about it, he just pretends to be stupid. Now that he is going to have a drink at home, he thinks of you. Does this treat you as a fool?
reciprocity, the most important thing is friendship, since the friendship between each other has long been dissipated, don't show up for face anymore, just by refusing to follow the ceremony, keep the necessary boundaries.
Don’t understand the courtesy of relatives
relatives were originally related by blood, this is very close, but now some family relationships have long deteriorated. Some relatives ask for help when there is something at home, but when other people have something, they show extreme indifference.
My cousin is such a person. The cousin is very strict. He only walks close to the relatives of his mother-in-law, but he is indifferent to our relatives, and doesn't have much contact with his own sister and younger sister.
Usually when relatives in the family want to give gifts, the cousin always pretends to be stupid, letting grandpa uncle simply follow 200 is enough, but relatives in the family, no matter who holds the banquet, the gift to return to grandpa uncle is more than two hundred. After all, Grandpa Uncle is an elder, how could he really want Grandpa Uncle’s money? Cousin
has been hiding behind his uncle and grandfather like this, pretending to be deaf and dumb to our relatives, but when his son wants to have a banquet, he does a special deal, calling people everywhere, and the relatives in the family don’t see it. My cousin is used to doing this,It was only because of the face of the uncle and grandpa that he reluctantly went to the banquet. The relatives in the
family know that there will be any banquets at the cousin's house in the future, and they don't want to go anymore. This kind of rituals that don't know how to communicate with each other and don't know how to pay are really meaningless. When
meets such relatives, even if you have suffered a loss once, you will keep your money bag in the future and don't be taken advantage of.
The gift of despising your friends
When I was young, I always like to make friends. After all, there are many friends and many paths, but people in middle age have long understood that it is better to rely on yourself. Only self-improvement can gain a foothold. .
Sincere friends know how to treat you kindly, and will help you when you are in trouble, making you unforgettable for a lifetime, and some people are your friends in name, but in fact they are just plastic friendship. I look down on you in my heart, and being with you always blows you up.
Don't take it anymore. If you have such a friend by your side, just stay away. Why give him a chance to bully you? If you look down on your friend's courtesy, even if you are casual, people will think that you are pleased, will not appreciate you, and will not change you.
Obviously the relationship between the two people is very ordinary. He usually attacked you and ridiculed you. When I was going to have a banquet, I thought of you. Either when you were being taken advantage of, or just trying to embarrass you, you shouldn't mix it up. Just stay away.
There is nothing to be embarrassed about. When you are middle-aged, you will find that it is more important to cover your money bag. There is no need to go with such gifts.
When people reach middle age, it is a time to give up and leave. Don't be bothered by favors. Some gifts are actually unnecessary. It is more important to keep your money bag.
is not to make you a miser, but obedience is also a matter of people. It is worth the time to come and go. If you have a necessary gift, you still have to follow it. But if you have a gift, just refuse it.
