Students often ask the teacher this question. What should they do if they find that a man has betrayed him, but there is no definite evidence in hand?
From the teacher's past case consultation experience, I found that many wives will fall into a misunderstanding after being betrayed, and directly run to question the man: "Why did you betray me?"
But on the surface, he will pretend to be calm and say that he has not betrayed. If you continue to stalk me and ask for the truth, he may even say to you in a mean way: "Where is the evidence? Do you have any evidence that I betrayed you?"
Doesn't this sound very infuriating? Yes, most wives will be furious: is good, you want evidence, right? Then I will find it out and show it to you. Then we will see how you can still quibble about .
So he frantically searched for evidence, followed, secretly monitored, and even spent a lot of money to find someone to investigate the man and the three.
After spending a lot of time and energy on his own, the evidence was found, but when he threw the evidence in front of the man, the man put on a "dead pig is not afraid of boiling water" attitude.
Either the attitude is bad and the relationship is broken and the two of them are completely at odds with each other; or the other is just showing off, not defending or denying, avoiding communication, leaving the wife to perform a one-man show, sad but helpless.
This is the way most wives will respond directly at the beginning in the cases that the teacher has taken over over the years. So at this point, I believe that I don’t need to say that everyone knows that this approach is wrong.
In fact, when a man first discovers his betrayal, it is the best time to resolve his extramarital relationship , but 80% of wives miss this opportunity, causing the man to enter the second stage of darkness after betrayal and start a threesome.
Therefore, the teacher hopes that if you encounter a man's betrayal, you must be more sensible, because your ultimate goal is to resolve the man's extramarital affair, not to entangle with him and consume each other.
The reason why you are obsessed with finding evidence of a man's betrayal is nothing more than the following three reasons:
You think that if you get the man's solid evidence, the man will admit it, and you will have a bargaining chip with him. But you have to know that after you solidify the evidence, the man will have no way out. He can only break up with you, or directly destroy it, leaving you with nothing to do.
You think that after you have evidence, your negotiation with a man will be easier, but in fact, the reason why your previous negotiations failed is just because you did not master the correct strategies and methods. It is said to be a negotiation, but in fact it is more like a crusade, so it failed.
You think you will give up completely after seeing this evidence. If you are sure that he really betrayed you, then divorce.
But you will find that when these evidences really appear in front of you, you will become more painful and fall into more serious internal friction. Don't leave, you are not willing to leave, but you will not live well after leaving.
So, after discovering a man's betrayal, you must first find out his routine and don't get entangled with him. Men are all very smart, and only in this way can you get rid of this extramarital affair efficiently and quickly.
So what tricks do men use after betrayal? I have summarized 3 points about , I hope it will be helpful to everyone.
1. Denying the facts
means refusing to admit your betrayal. Even if you take out all the photos of him sleeping with that woman, he will still deny it and continue to mess around with you.
Wife: Since there was no betrayal, why did that woman send you some sexy and explicit photos every day and still have an affair with you?
Man: We are friends. It was just a joke. Besides, if she wants to post it herself, I can’t tie her hands, right? I didn't ask her to post it.
Wife: You said you have nothing to do with her, then why are you checking into a room with her on Valentine's Day?
Man: I told you, we are talking about work, do you have to take care of this too? Do we need to allocate time to talk about work?
Wife: Then why did you buy this and that for her?
Man: What did I buy her? Tell me what I bought her? Where is the evidence?
Wife: I heard the recording of you making love to me in the car. If you weren’t betraying me, what was it? Would ordinary friends make that kind of joke? Will you hug me?
Man: What did we do? Which of your eyes saw my betrayal? I've said they are friends, aren't you tired of tossing me like this all the time?
In short, I just mess around with you and tell lies with my eyes open.
This trick of a man is more effective for the kind of reasonable wives. Such wives will think that as long as they get a real hammer, the man will bow his head and admit his mistake. In fact, even if you have solid evidence and even if you catch him at the scene, he will not admit the fact of betrayal.
So, don’t dwell on the facts in , interests are the most important thing in .
What really makes a man bow his head is not your iron-clad evidence, but the punishment he faces after the iron-clad evidence, which makes him fearful.
In fact, to deal with such a man, one sentence is enough: It doesn't matter whether you admit it or not, but if you don't do what I say, then I won't be polite to you.
In the final analysis, evidence is not your wife’s weapon, your real weapon is the man’s interests.
You must make the man "cost conscious" , This matter has touched your bottom line. If he continues to play rogue, he will only lose more than the gain. You will make him pay the price, and he will naturally not dare to play tricks.
2, Emotional Scam
He will use various extreme emotions to force you away, such as rage, cold violence, or missing out, leaving you at a loss.
This kind of man generally has a characteristic, that is, as long as you don't take the initiative to mention this matter, he will act like he is fine, but as soon as you mention it, he will immediately lose control of his emotions and explode on the spot.
There are many wives who have a docile "little sheep" character. They have lived in the small world of the family all their lives and have never experienced ups and downs. As long as the man speaks a little harder, gets angry at himself, and glares, she will be frightened by this aura and lose the confidence to speak.
Some men will resort to verbal violence . Some men will have physical conflicts with you, and some will smash things, or simply disappear and never return home.
In short, as long as he gets emotional, the conversation between his wife and him will not be able to continue at all.
To deal with this kind of man, the most important thing is to judge whether he is a real gangster or just pretending to be .
If he is polite to others outside, has a high emotional intelligence, and is quite graceful, but as soon as he comes home, he immediately changes to a different person, yells at you, and frowns at you, then he is a typical performative personality who is soft and shy.
And if he has the same "aggressive" personality whether at home or outside, and he is willing to accept soft things rather than hard things, then you should pay more attention, do not challenge him easily, and have enough safety awareness before confronting him.
In fact, 90% of men are "fake hooligans", just acting on occasion, and their emotions are all staged .
Therefore, when facing this kind of man, the more anxious he is, the more you have to stay calm and don't be led astray by his emotions. You can try saying these 3 sentences to him:
You are too emotional now, let's talk about it later.
I know you are not like this outside. Basically only I can see your bad temper. The reason why you treat me like this is because you think I am easy to bully, right? You just lose your temper and think this matter can be overcome. But I tell you now, I am not going to let you go anymore.
If you are not willing to talk to me, then I can only take some actions. As for the consequences, you will bear them yourself.
Then turn around and leave directly, letting him know that you are not someone to be bullied, and that all his performances have no effect. Then you can adopt the "sausage-cutting" tactic, step by step, and let him return to normal step by step.
3, action control
After a man's betrayal is discovered, he may have 3 kinds of action control towards you.
Pretending to give in
For example, he will promise you to break off from the outside world, but he will break it off in his own way, asking you not to keep forcing him, but to give him time.
But he said so, but in reality he didn't take any action, and he didn't change at all. He wouldn't show you his cell phone, his attitude was hot and cold, and he sometimes ignored you.
In fact, he just wants you to accept the status quo. He has no idea at all and is too lazy to coax you.
false return
If you make a big fuss, in order to make your life easier, he may give you some small favors to calm you down for a while.
For example, I take the initiative to do some housework, go home early from get off work, and buy you some small gifts, but ultimately, it is just perfunctory.
Fake divorce
If you still argue with him and don't accept the status quo, he will use divorce to test your bottom line. Once you file for divorce because of him and you give in and continue to endure it, then his purpose will be achieved.
After that, he will return to his previous state, being indifferent to you or occasionally giving you a little sweetener, so that you can continue to be his wife and maintain the marriage.
If a man uses these actions to control you and prevents you from sticking to the bottom line, then you must pay attention: You must not let a man feel that you are being controlled by him, thinking that you dare not divorce him or start a direct war with him, otherwise he will become even more aggressive.
Once he feels that you have been taken over by him, it will be difficult for you to turn around and end his extramarital affair, and what awaits you will only be deeper pain and torture.
Therefore, you must take the initiative from the beginning and let the man know that all his tricks are useless to you. There is no room for compromise in front of the bottom line of right and wrong, and you will fight him to the end.
And if you made a mistake in the previous step, and the man has taken control of the marriage, and there is no solid evidence, but you still want to solve his extramarital affair, you can come to the teacher for help, or directly send a private message to the teacher on the homepage. I will help you analyze and give you suggestions based on your specific situation.
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