What is love? I think everyone wants to find the answer. Love, like happiness, is something that is everywhere in life and can be felt by everyone, but it is difficult to define clearly in one sentence. Some people say that love is innate, so it can be considered a trait of human nature. In other words, love is one of the essential qualities that a human being must possess.
Although the cultural differences among the various ethnic groups in the world make it difficult to define a universal love, it is not impossible to establish it. Love can include soul or spiritual love, love for country, love for oneself, love for food, love for money, love for learning, love for power, love for reputation, love for others, there are countless others. Different people place different values on the love they receive. Love is essentially an abstract concept that can be experienced but difficult to put into words.
So what I want to share with you today is not to discuss what love is, but to discuss the different realms of love. From the perspective of family education , I divided love into four realms, hoping to inspire everyone.
The first type, hell love → demanding love
For example, children versus parents, when we were babies, we wanted something and our parents didn’t give it to us. If our parents didn’t give it to us, they would get angry and make trouble, or they would hurt others as a means to achieve their own goals. This kind of love will directly lead people to destruction!
We often say that to educate children, they must learn four words called delayed gratification . A child can be satisfied six times out of ten or eight times out of ten. You can't ask for ten times to satisfy ten times. If a child can be satisfied every time he wants something, when the child grows up, he will become a habit of asking for something. So be sure not to let your children develop the habit of asking. As I often share, cultivates children to be generous and generous from an early age. must be cultivated from an early age. This thing cannot be learned, and the school does not have this major.
After talking about children, let’s talk about women. You see, many women nowadays have problematic values. As the saying goes, they have "three incorrect views". They want to get everything after giving a little. Of course, many men are like this too. Without high academic qualifications, abilities and values, they always want to obtain high income, position and results.
Many women themselves have no ability and always want to rely on short-term external appearance to obtain long-term happiness. These are all manifestations of low self-esteem and weak soul. I always feel that if a man loves me, he should buy me cosmetics, bags, clothes, cars and houses. When I get married, a man should pamper me and love me because I am a woman. If you think like this, how can you be happy? Because you keep asking.
There was news some time ago. The verdict on the wife-murder case in Thailand has been made. I believe everyone has heard of this news. While in Thailand, a man pushed his pregnant wife off a cliff, right? The husband of this pregnant woman was sentenced to life imprisonment, life imprisonment . Let’s talk about this man first. This man must be hateful. Needless to say, he is completely unconscionable and deliberately planned this murder. In order to pay off his gambling debts, he purposely met his wife and had a flash marriage, and when his wife became pregnant after the marriage, he pushed her off a cliff. We will not go into the specific process of the incident. You can watch the news.
According to reports, this man had a criminal record before. It can be said that he is a man with very unhealthy views. The reason why this man has such a result must have a lot to do with the values he grew up with and the education his parents gave him. Let’s talk about the woman in this incident again. Looking at the comments on the Internet, they all say how pitiful this pregnant woman is. They all sympathize with this pregnant woman. She was pushed away by her husband even though she was pregnant, and they all scold the man.
But my point of view is a little different. First of all, I also sympathize with this woman, but let's consider another issue. If this woman had not chosen such a man, would the outcome have been completely different? I often say that choosing a person is choosing a lifestyle. People will only attract people like themselves to come to them.They got married two months after knowing each other. Flash marriages are largely undesirable, and does this woman also have a problem with her choice of men? You can leave a message in the comment area about this matter, and we will discuss it together.
The second kind, human love → exchanged love
For example, whatever you do for me, I will do for you; I give it to you, and you have to give it to me too. This is the case for most couples in the world. This kind of love is consuming each other!
Exchange love is ubiquitous in the world, and most couples fall into the category of exchange love. Since when? It starts from the moment of marriage, before marriage: dowry. No matter how much dowry you give me, how much gift I will give you, if it is not equal, both parents will not agree to the marriage, as if their sons and daughters are being exchanged like commodities. I have seen a lot of news that the marriage was not completed because the man gave the woman a gift of 500,000 yuan, and the woman just gave the man a dowry of 200,000 yuan.
Isn’t this a naked exchange? If this is the case, both parties will continue to communicate after entering the marriage. But the marriage of is a cooperation of . Once exchanged, many problems will arise. Therefore, many women often feel unhappy after entering into marriage. Why? Because I feel that I have given so much and received so little love.
Men also feel that they are not very happy. They work very hard outside every day, and when they come home, they are subject to complaints, wise men, and suspicion. Both parties think they are victims. In fact, this means that both parties have a desire to exchange. I have shared before that the core of happiness is that I love you no matter what you are, so that the other person's heart will remain unchanged, and the other person's heart of happiness will never change. Only with such a heart can both parties remain happy.
The third type, angel love → unconditional giving
It is amazing that ordinary couples can achieve unconditional love, which is rare in the world. As I just mentioned, I love you no matter what you are. This is a manifestation of a man or woman's compassion. Not many couples can be unconditional. If a man has no looks, no ability, no car, no house, no savings, can this woman still be with him? If nothing else, I will just say one thing: anything that is conditional is not love.
We have seen that most parents love their children, just like most animals in nature, without any conditions, sometimes even at any cost. Of course, in order to cultivate a sound, happy and harmoniously developed personality in children, it is important for parents to learn to love their children unconditionally and selflessly.
Such love helps maintain the relationship between parents and children in life and avoids conflicts. Of course, people are complicated. In real life, we see that many parents sometimes have conditions for raising children, such as raising children to provide for old age. Of course this is not the topic we discuss in this section. Those unconditional giving and angelic love based on family affection are great, beautiful, and worthy of everyone's praise and pursuit.
The fourth kind, Pudu love → Still loving after being hurt
Then the fourth kind of love is reached, which is the highest state. I named it Pudu Ai, which means I still love after being hurt. Just like those religious leaders, we won’t mention their specific names, their love for all living beings. This is a kind of love without discrimination. To be able to do this is simply amazing and rare in the world. As I just mentioned, only the greatest masters and leaders in the world can do it. Just like how many people hurt the great leader Chairman Mao. Anyone who becomes a great person has experienced a lot of hurt and torture, but his love for all sentient beings will never change, and he can become a leader.
Just like the founder of Christianity Jesus , who was crucified on the cross, he still wanted to say, forgive them, they don't know what they are doing. This kind of love has surpassed the consciousness of ordinary people. In fact, parents have done this to a certain extent. They still love their children even if they are hurt by them. But the Pudu love I’m talking about here is 1,000 times, 10,000 times greater than this. This is also a state that couples should cultivate to throughout their lives. As I often share in my articles, achieves the result of fellow practitioners going through the same journey through cultivation.
But here I must solemnly state that there is a bottom line for loving after being hurt. Didn’t you read what I shared today and say that my husband has been hurting me and I want to insist on loving him. If you say this, you have misunderstood what I meant. If the other person is deliberately hurting you, they regard hurting you as a habit and pleasure, and they don't take it seriously. Then you should stay away from such a person, and you can no longer love him. If you continue to love, it is not wisdom, it is ignorance. If the other person doesn't know that he is hurting you, your love can influence him, and he can be influenced by you, then you have to persist until the other person wakes up.
So, it is very important to listen to my sharing with a correct mentality. I wonder if today’s sharing will be helpful to you? What are your views on the realm of love? Which of these 4 types of love do you think you are? Welcome to chat with me in the comment area below! I will reply to every message you leave.
