Introduction
After their daughter gets married, parents are most worried about their daughter being bullied by her husband’s family. In order to let their daughter live a good life, parents will treat their son-in-law twice as much, hoping that their daughter will receive the same treatment in her husband's family. Even if the parents-in-law cannot treat their daughter-in-law as their own, respect each other, and do not suppress their daughter-in-law as elders, the parents will be satisfied.
This is also the reason why the son-in-law follows his wife back to his parents' home, and the parents-in-law care more about the son-in-law than their own daughter.
57-year-old Aunt Wu has two daughters. She is well aware of the difficulties a woman faces in her husband's family after getting married. Therefore, when her eldest daughter got married, Aunt Wu not only did not ask for a bride price, but also took the initiative to pay for the renovation of her daughter and her son-in-law's wedding room and help her son-in-law take care of their children.
It is said that a son-in-law is half a son. Aunt Wu thought that she could be kind to her son-in-law in exchange for caring, so Xiao Cheng also tried his best to play the role of son-in-law. Unexpectedly, something happened not long ago, and Aunt Wu finally realized that her son-in-law was her son-in-law, and he would not be a son, nor would he be half a son. Aunt Wu and her son-in-law have always gotten along well, so why do they express such emotion?
Narration from Aunt Wu
I am Aunt Wu, I am 57 years old this year. I have two daughters. The younger daughter is 12 years younger than the older daughter. When our eldest daughter was one year old, my husband and I borrowed some money to start a business in the town. In order to make money, we worked early and late and had no time to take care of our daughter.
My daughter plays alone most of the time. I can’t remember how many times she has been by my side silently, hoping that I can spend more time with her in my free time. As a result, when I finished my work, I found her curled up in a corner and already asleep.
By the time our career gradually got on track, our daughter had reached elementary school age. She lacked our care and companionship, and she later became ill and her body was out of shape, and her personality became quite introverted and low self-esteem.
I owe my eldest daughter a lot, so after the business is on track, I try to spend as much time with her as possible. It's a pity that I have missed the best time to accompany her. She doesn't talk much when we are together, which makes me sad.
When my eldest daughter was 11 years old, I got pregnant. I originally didn't want this child, but my eldest daughter persuaded me to have it and said she wanted a younger sister. For my daughter, I gave birth to a second child. The second child is also a girl. Fortunately, since the second daughter was born, the eldest daughter has often helped me take care of the child, and her personality is much more cheerful than before.
The eldest daughter did not do well in school and went out to work after graduating from high school. She has a low self-esteem, has few friends around her while working outside, and has never been in love. During the Chinese New Year, I asked my relatives to introduce her to someone, but either the other person didn't like her, or she didn't like him.
After several kisses, my daughter no longer had any expectations for relationships and never mentioned falling in love or getting married. My husband comforted me not to think too much. Even if our eldest daughter never fell in love and remained single, we could still afford to support her.
I thought that my eldest daughter would not think about falling in love before she was thirty years old. Who would have thought that before she turned thirty, she not only fell in love, but also brought a boy to her home. The son-in-law's name is Xiao Cheng, who is one year older than the eldest daughter. Although he looks average, he has a cheerful personality and is very good to the eldest daughter.
As long as his eldest daughter wants to eat or likes anything, he will be willing to buy it no matter how expensive it is. Xiao Cheng fell in love several times, but they all ended in vain. I asked him what he liked about his eldest daughter. Was he going to get married?
He said that his eldest daughter is very tolerant of him, has a kind personality, and is very suitable for living at home. Ever since he met his eldest daughter, he felt that he should get married.
Xiao Cheng's family is also from a rural area, but his family background is not good. His father passed away due to illness when he was 22 years old. Over the years, he and his mother have been working outside all year round to make ends meet.
Xiao Cheng has a sweet mouth. After living at my house for about a week, his title changed from uncle and aunt to mom and dad. He told my husband and me that although he has no money now, he will work hard to let his eldest daughter live a good life. Even if he were not rich and powerful, he would not let his eldest daughter suffer injustice with him.
The eldest daughter likes him very much. Although my husband and I are a little dissatisfied with Xiao Cheng's family, the eldest daughter told me that she will never marry anyone except Xiao Cheng in this life.We couldn't win over her, so we reluctantly agreed to the marriage.
Before we got married, we had agreed that the groom’s family would provide the down payment for the house, and we would not need the three gold or betrothal gifts.
Xiaocheng’s mother also agreed, but when the house was approved and it was time to pay, Xiaocheng cried and knelt in front of me, saying that his family could not afford 200,000 yuan at once. He hoped that we could contribute 150,000 yuan and his mother could contribute 50,000 yuan. He knows this is unfair, but his mother has indeed had a hard time these years, and he hopes we can be considerate of his family. He promised that he would remember the kindness of my husband and me and treat us better than his mother in the future.
Xiao Cheng’s words touched my weakness. I have no sons, only two daughters. My husband and I often think about what we will do if our daughters marry far away and we have no sons to care for us when we grow old. Relatives and friends around me will also advise me to be more open-minded. When my daughter gets married in the future, I should treat my son-in-law better. One son-in-law is half a son. I have two sons-in-law, so I don’t have to worry about it in my old age.
Although we are not a wealthy family, it is not a big deal to spend 150,000 yuan. Seeing Xiaocheng's sincere attitude, I felt that if I could use 150,000 yuan in exchange for his kindness to my husband and me, it would be worth it, so after discussing with my husband, we agreed to pay this part of the money.
After the wedding house was purchased, my eldest daughter acted coquettishly in front of me, saying that she had no money to decorate the house and hoped that I could help. Xiaocheng's mother was very kind to her. She didn't want to embarrass her mother-in-law, so she could only ask me for help. I already felt indebted to her, and she said a few soft words, so I naturally agreed.
I paid 150,000 yuan for my son-in-law to buy a wedding house. I also paid for the house decoration, furniture and appliances, totaling 80,000 yuan. Xiaocheng was embarrassed to ask me to pay all the money, and he paid another 40,000.
Xiao Cheng knew that I had helped him a lot since he got married. He also knows how to be grateful. Every time he comes to visit my husband and me during holidays, he always brings many gifts. My husband and I were busy with business and had no time to cook, so he bought the groceries himself and cooked a table of delicious meals for us.
Xiao Cheng is very good to my husband and me, and also very good to my eldest daughter. I think spending money can buy Xiaocheng's gratitude to us, and it is well spent. Relatives and neighbors around me often praised Xiao Cheng when they saw that he was kind, good at cooking and doing housework, which made me feel proud and even more satisfied with Xiao Cheng as my son-in-law.
After the eldest daughter became pregnant and gave birth, her mother-in-law should have taken care of her during the confinement period. But Xiaocheng's mother was in love and was not focused on taking care of her eldest daughter. I was very angry. Xiaocheng also had several quarrels with his mother about this, but his mother left early every day and came home late every day, and sometimes stayed up all night.
In order to let my eldest daughter and grandson have a good rest, I can only let them live at home, and I will take care of them myself.
A few days after the eldest daughter and grandson moved in, Xiao Cheng also moved in. I have resentment in my heart, and I occasionally show off to him, or give him a few words of criticism, but he doesn't refute and just keeps his head down and does things every time. Seeing that Xiao Cheng is still sensible, the dissatisfaction in my heart gradually dissipated.
When his grandson was six months old, Xiao Cheng said that it was too stressful to raise a child. He hoped that his eldest daughter would go out to work with him to earn money, and the child would be left to me to take care of. But the eldest daughter is reluctant to leave the child. I am also worried that the eldest daughter is in poor health. If she gets sick in other places, there will be no one around to take care of her, so I don’t want her to go out.
The eldest daughter discussed with Xiao Cheng that she would go out to make money when the child is older. Xiao Cheng agreed, and he went to work in a factory in Zhejiang alone. He could earn more than 5,000 yuan a month. After excluding the expenses of 1,000 yuan, the remaining money was given to his eldest daughter.
I think Xiao Cheng is quite reliable, but during the Chinese New Year, Xiao Cheng and her mother met. The mother and son didn't know what they said. After the Chinese New Year, Xiao Cheng said she was unwilling to go out to work. He said that my eldest daughter only needs to enjoy herself at home and does not need to earn money. Why should he earn money to support the family by himself? To make money, two people should work together instead of putting all the pressure on him.
I angrily accused Xiao Cheng of not having a sense of responsibility. My eldest daughter was taking care of her children at home, and her life was not easy.How could he say such irresponsible things? But Xiao Cheng said he was wrong, but was very perfunctory in his actions. As long as he was asked to go out to work, he would pretend to be asleep and not listen, and would neither refute nor obey my words.
My husband and I were angry and helpless. In order to make the life of our eldest daughter and grandson better, we paid for Xiao Cheng to rent a shop on the street for business. Xiao Cheng is young and a bit rigid in business. My husband and I occasionally give him a few words of advice, but he can't change it.
Therefore, the business in the store is not good, and the money earned can barely cover his own expenses. The child needs milk powder, and the eldest daughter needs to buy clothes and cosmetics. The eldest daughter had no money to spend, so she quarreled with Xiao Cheng. My husband and I were very anxious when we saw that they were not in good terms with each other.
I told Xiao Cheng that I know it’s not easy to make money. I will pay for their family’s living expenses in the future, but Xiao Cheng can’t always quarrel with my daughter. You have to be patient when dealing with others, pay attention to reputation, and be diligent in doing business. Only by being diligent and kind can you make money.
Xiao Cheng agreed. In those years, he and his eldest daughter quarreled much less. Although I paid for the household expenses and took care of the children with my eldest daughter, it was Xiao Cheng who repaid the mortgage. Later, he wanted to use the money he earned to buy a car, so I helped him add another 20,000 yuan and bought a car worth 100,000 yuan.
Since the business improved, Xiao Chen's circle of friends has expanded. He often drives back to his hometown and ignores the business in the store. There are also more dinner parties, and I go out drinking almost two or three days a week.
My mother-in-law felt that Xiao Cheng had made money and straightened up her waist. She often said in front of her son-in-law that her eldest daughter was lazy and only knew how to take care of the children and could not help him. If the eldest daughter hadn't held him back, maybe Xiao Cheng would have been more successful.
Xiao Cheng also began to dislike his eldest daughter for not paying attention to maintenance, not dressing in a fashionable manner, and not raising children well. I advise Xiao Cheng not to waste money just because he has some money, otherwise the money will come and go quickly. If he has no money, who will pay attention to him and be willing to be friends with him?
But Xiao Cheng couldn't listen to my advice at all. He felt that what I said was not good for him. He has made money in business, and I want to pick on him, so I always criticize him for his faults. He and I quarreled several times, and once he broke the glass of my house.
I am very disappointed with Xiao Cheng. I think Xiao Cheng has changed. My eldest daughter has also had several quarrels with Xiao Cheng, but they already have children, so they can't divorce, right?
I called my mother-in-law, hoping that she would come forward to persuade me. My mother-in-law felt that Xiao Cheng was a child after all, and as an elder I should be more tolerant. It's not easy for her to live alone. Since Xiao Cheng lives with me, I should take care of her. She couldn't control it, and there was nothing she could do about it.
I couldn’t stand what Xiao Cheng was doing. Xiao Cheng didn’t want to live under the same roof as us, so he moved out. The eldest daughter takes the children to my house during the day and goes back after dinner in the evening.
Later, the business in the store became worse and worse. Xiao Chen had no money to pay the rent, so he asked me to borrow money. I didn't want to borrow it, but my eldest daughter cried and said she didn't want a divorce. Xiao Cheng also said that he knew he was wrong. For the sake of my eldest daughter, I could only lend him 30,000 yuan for emergency purposes.
Not long ago, I fell and injured my leg while taking care of my grandson. I asked Xiao Cheng to drive me to the hospital, but Xiao Cheng asked me for gas money, saying that he bought the car. I used to say that he wasted gas money by driving back to his hometown. This time I took the car to the hospital and had to pay him.
The money I brought with me was not enough for the hospitalization fee, so I asked Xiao Cheng to help pay for it first, and I would give it to him later. But he said dissatisfiedly that it was not easy for him to make money. What if I didn't pay him back?
During my hospitalization, Xiao Cheng only came twice. Every time I come, I stay for a few minutes and then leave. I asked Xiao Cheng, and at first he kept saying that he would respect my husband and me as his biological parents. Now that I am in hospital and need someone to take care of me, is this how he treats me?
Xiao Cheng said, I was really good to him before, but I was better to my eldest daughter. When the business in the store was not good, I always criticized him, but not my eldest daughter. I also said that his mother was selfish and it was me who contributed money and effort. His mother only used lip service to express concern.
I felt quite disappointed when I heard Xiao Cheng talking about these things.I helped him so many times, not only with money but also with my efforts, but just a few times when I was not considerate, he held a grudge and erased all the good things I had done to him. Since he is so heartless, why should I continue to give unconditionally?
Xiaocheng's attitude towards me also made me understand a truth:
A son-in-law is a son-in-law, and a son is a son. Don't imagine that a son-in-law is just a half-son, who will provide for us until we die in the future.
A daughter-in-law has no obligation to support her parents-in-law, and a son-in-law has no obligation to support his parents-in-law. Instead of having the idea of letting our son-in-law take care of us in our old age, it is better to save more money and take good care of our own health. It will be more reliable to live in a nursing home or hire a nanny to take care of us when we get old in the future.
Mother-in-law treats her son-in-law well because she hopes that her daughter will live well in her husband's family. But mother-in-law and son-in-law should also keep a distance when getting along, and don't get too close. The mother-in-law treats her son-in-law as her own son, and it is inevitable that she will speak and act out of proportion. If the son-in-law is dissatisfied but does not say anything, conflicts will accumulate until they break out.
At the same time, the mother-in-law is good to her son-in-law, but not too nice and helps in everything. If you help him ten times, you will become a bad guy if you don't help him once.
Mother-in-law and son-in-law are both independent individuals. They should have a sense of propriety when getting along with each other. They should pay less attention to each other's housework and dictate less to each other's family. They should only contact each other occasionally to know that the other party cares about them.
At the same time, mother-in-law should not have too high expectations for her son-in-law. The higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment. Only by keeping a normal mind will you not feel dissatisfied.
