Author | Xiaozhi
When a close relationship has reached the point of mutual dislike, I have to say that both people have failed.
But back to real life, such relationships are actually not rare - although some people continue to be together temporarily due to various reasons and maintain the beauty on the surface, changes in their hearts are still happening.
In this world, not all relationships are the same as they appear.
Especially when it comes to marriage, as time goes by, the proportion of the word love in it may become smaller and smaller. Whether two people can reach the end will test more of each other's sense of responsibility, the involvement of all parties with interests, and even a certain amount of luck.
To be honest, a man will "pretend to be dumb" in two places if he dislikes his wife from the bottom of his heart.
01. When there are conflicts between each other;
Two days ago, a married woman told me about her husband’s various indifferent attitudes toward her in their current marriage.
What stage has their marriage relationship reached now? Four words that make us hate each other.
She said that she was upset when she saw her husband, and just wanted to stay away from him. It was okay not to see each other, but once they met, there would definitely be a lot of quarrels.
In fact, she was not like this at the beginning.
She also wants to communicate well with her husband and tell him what is in her heart. She hopes that they can sit down and have a good talk, just like when they had conflicts before marriage, they talked to each other, apologized to each other, and the matter was over.
But since they got married, especially when she gave birth to a child, everything started to change from here.
Her husband dislikes her slovenliness, saying that she has gained weight and is unsightly. He also says that she looks like an aunt now. He says that celebrities can still maintain a good figure after giving birth to children, and asks her to learn more about other people's self-discipline and so on.
It can be said that she was stunned by her husband's remarks at that time. She said, do you know how much they spent? If you had money to take care of me and hire a nanny to take care of my children so that I don’t have to stay up late, I would definitely be able to do this.
Her husband was silent.
Later, silence completely became synonymous with her husband.
When there was any conflict between the two of them, her husband would not speak and would treat it coldly anyway. She originally wanted to solve the problem at first, but seeing the other party's attitude, she gradually became hysterical, so her husband insisted that she had changed. She was now unreasonable. He blamed all the mistakes on her, but never reflected on himself.
She could clearly feel that her current husband had a very disgusting attitude towards her.
Because when they were in love, her husband would never pretend not to see any conflicts he had, but would resolve them quickly. He also said that he was most afraid of her crying, but now even if she cried her eyes out, her husband would not have any pity.
Only when he cares about you can your emotions affect him and your joys, sorrows and joys can be seen.
If he doesn't care about you, then no matter what you do or what you become, you won't be able to find the care and love you want from him.
The true reflection of whether a person has you in his heart depends on whether he is willing to take the trouble to deal with conflicts when he encounters them.
Because compared to dealing with conflicts, escaping is an easier way for the time being, but everyone understands that it is impossible to escape forever. Anyone who runs away for a lifetime will not watch this relationship get worse and worse.
On the contrary, if this person faces conflicts and the collapse of the relationship but remains indifferent, it can only be said that he is either determined that you will not leave, or he does not care at all whether you will leave. No matter which one it is, it is a sign of not loving him.
02. When the wife needs him;
Two days ago, I came across a video on the Internet. The video was about a mother pushing an electric car forward on a rainy day in the middle of the night. It was obvious that the battery was out and she could only push it. There was a child sitting in the car.
commented in the comment area: Why don’t you call the child’s father?
Then a netizen replied: If the child's father is reliable, or has shown caring behavior at moments like this before, how could she not call her husband? I've been through moments where I never got any of the answers I wanted when I needed him, so now I don't rely on him for anything anymore.
As a man, he must have a certain protectiveness and sense of responsibility in front of the person he loves. If he does not have any of these two, then the relationship is actually in name only.
Although in the eyes of outsiders, you are still a couple, whether you are living well or not and whether you really have each other in your heart should only be understood by you.
Marriage has always been like this, like a person knowing whether the water is warm or cold.
I know a sister who has been married for 9 years. They also dislike each other now. If it were not for the sake of their children, they would have divorced.
Once, her mother came to the city and wanted her husband to help her drive to pick her up. For such a small thing, her husband was obviously sleeping at home, but he just didn't want to go. He said it was cold and didn't want to move, so he asked her to pick him up by herself.
As a wife, when she needs help from her husband but is repeatedly disappointed, once her heart becomes cold, it will never get better.
The most basic thing for a man who has a wife in his heart is to be able to love his wife as much as possible. Because he loves his wife, he will also be kind to his wife’s natal family.
If he can pretend to be deaf and dumb when you need him most, then you should know better than anyone else how false this love is.
Marriage is not easy, I hope everyone can cherish it. This kind of cherishing is not only about asking the other party what to do, but also about your own responsibilities. You must always reflect and clarify. Only when each other has this relationship, this family, and good thoughts in their hearts, can they finally achieve a good result.
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