I am Miaomiao, a post-90s generation who focuses on writing and self-improvement. I love life and hope that the rest of my life will be what I like, and that is coming true.
There is something that cannot be seen or grasped. The person who vents is released, and the person who bears it becomes more and more painful. This thing is other people's emotions.
It is like the virus that is spreading now, it is around you and in your heart all the time. If you can't throw away
, you will fall into endless internal friction.
A few days ago, because I was urged to get married, I fell into my mother's emotions and couldn't get out, which delayed a lot of time and things.
Feel the same and fall into other people’s negative emotions
My mother is 58 years old and has a more impatient personality. A few years ago, she took her to see a Chinese medicine doctor. The doctor said that my mother had severe menopause and asked us to be more understanding in life.
After I came back this year, I felt that the situation was particularly serious.
My mother will get angry over trivial things at home; my mother will get angry when her children don’t eat; and hearing the slightest disturbance will arouse many emotions in my mother.
Especially when it comes to my finding a partner, my mother has a bad temper whenever she mentions it and cries easily, which makes me dare not communicate with her normally about this matter.
At the beginning, I was very careful not to irritate her or let her have any emotional fluctuations. I accepted all her sadness and sadness and listened silently.
Every time she called her uncles and aunts and said what she said, although I was sad to hear it, I kept silent because I felt that the root cause of the matter was indeed me.
I think if I don’t speak or refute, this will make her feel better. She can just say a few words.
But in the past month, I have been dealing with such negative emotions for half a month, which made me not in the mood to shoot videos and write articles every day.
made a phone call after a while, which disrupted the rhythm.
Especially last week, my mother told me to find a partner this time, stop talking about it, and get married soon, so I completely exploded.
In this case, it is as if I am an emotionless animal. After turning this page, I will immediately go to the next page.
In order to let them feel no pressure and fulfill their responsibilities as parents, I have to compromise and live according to their ideas.
And what such emotions bring me is boundless anxiety, disappointment, and sadness.
So, from that day on, I returned to the small house and went to my mother less often.
No matter what your feelings are, when you feel tired, stay away.
I don’t want to bear this kind of pressure anymore, nor do I want to face a gloomy face every day.
I began to understand that my mother’s emotions were her life, and how she digested them was her way of life.
And I have my own way of life.
We sometimes live very tiredly because we care too much about other people's feelings and always have to take care of and relieve other people's emotions, leaving very little time for ourselves.
Yang Mi said: "Whose life is not hard? How can you empathize with others? Why should you let others understand your hard work?"
We can comfort others for their hard work, but everyone's joys and sorrows are not the same.
While comforting others, we must first ensure our own emotional value and emotional life.
Do what you should do and don’t pay for other people’s emotions
A few days ago, a friend who works in self-media with me called me and said that she was violently abused by the Internet and scolded badly, which lasted for several days.
Some people said that she was occupying public resources. I teased her: "You are so powerful in the eyes of others now that you can influence public resources, hahaha."
We laughed for a long time over the phone.
In fact, the moment we see bad comments, we all feel depressed.
I shared my experience with everyone for free, but was scolded badly. This kind of thing happens a lot in the self-media creation process.
The consensus between us is that no matter whether it is good or bad remarks, as creators, what we share must be positive and positive things, but different people will understand it differently.
There is a Zen saying: "What you think in your heart is what you see."
I think it can explain this phenomenon very well.
has been on the self-media creation platform for such a long time, and we also understand that different people have different opinions, and we cannot meet everyone's requirements, so freedom of speech is allowed.
What we have to do is to organize our thoughts. Next article, why bother to affect your own creation for the sake of other people's emotions?
Don’t be a trash can for other people’s emotions
In life, sometimes we are talkers and sometimes we are listeners.
When a friend around him is in a bad mood, he always wants to do something to help him prevent the bad mood from arising.
In this case, we will transfer his bad mood to ourselves, and we will invisibly be responsible for his mood.
However, no matter how hard we tried, his mood did not ease, but made us anxious.
The day before yesterday, a comrade called and said that her husband was in a very bad mood when he came back from get off work. He didn't say a word, didn't eat, and was very depressed.
She was not in the mood to eat and didn't know what to do or say to comfort her.
She just watched quietly for a long time.
In the evening, her husband began to complain that his job was not good and he was under great pressure. He talked a lot.
She couldn't bear it all of a sudden, and said to her husband: "I know you are very tired and tired from work, so please take leave and stop working for the time being.
I am also very tired, but I don't know how to comfort you when you are in such a mood. It has been so low that I have no time to eat or take care of the children..."
It may be that her emotions are stronger, and her husband also feels that it is not right for him to be like this all the time. Everyone calmed down for a while and went to spend time with the children.
In fact, communication between people is the exchange of energy.
Some people habitually push their bad emotions to others. At this time, we need to build our own emotional barriers. We have to choose ourselves whether to accept it or not.
We must understand that whether others are in good or bad moods is not caused by us.
And we ourselves must learn not to control other people's emotions, but to allow others to have free emotions.
We are not the saviors of other people's emotions, we are just bystanders.
No matter when, put your own feelings first, life is your own.
In this world, the only thing you have to do is to be responsible for yourself.
Author introduction: [Meow Meow’s Nest]
A post-90s generation who focuses on self-media operations and personal improvement. In the future, he hopes to live the way he likes. He is changing himself through writing. I hope to meet you who have the same passion for writing.
