01
As the old saying goes: Brothers settle accounts. This is the experience gained by the ancients when dealing with the relationship between brothers and sisters. It is very reasonable, otherwise it would not be passed down. Only in this way can we maintain long-term friendly relations and deep brotherhood.
Before brothers and sisters got married, they were really a family, eating from the same pot, regardless of you and me. But if they have already married and started a business, then they have established their own families, and they have become relatives and are no longer a family.
When parents deal with the relationship between their children, it is best to set their stance, treat each child fairly, and do things aboveboard. If a parent likes to use the things of one child to supplement that child, it may be okay a few times, but if the number of times is high, there will definitely be conflicts.
02
When my daughter-in-law was in confinement, her parents gave her four hooves to nourish her body. The mother-in-law took matters into her own hands and quietly gave everything to her eldest aunt. When her daughter-in-law found out, she quarreled with her mother-in-law.
This is what happened at Yan Xiao's house. Because of this incident, after confinement, Yan Xiao and her husband moved out with their children and lived alone. Let’s hear their family’s story below.
Narrator: Yan Xiao
Age: 29 years old
Occupation: Full-time mother
City: Xingcheng
03
When my husband and I got married, we wanted to be single, but my mother-in-law insisted that we live with them and talked about a lot of benefits of living together. In order to live with us, my mother-in-law refused to buy us a wedding house because she had no money.
My husband advised me to live with my parents-in-law first. After we save enough for the down payment, we can take out a loan to buy a house. My husband said that there are indeed many benefits to us living with my parents-in-law. First of all, I can stop doing the housework and let my mother-in-law do all the housework. She doesn’t go to work anyway.
After we have children, we can let our mother-in-law take care of the children, so we don’t have to worry about taking care of the children. My husband also mentioned many other benefits, which was similar to what my mother-in-law said. I think what they said makes sense. Besides, my husband and I don’t have money to buy a wedding house, so let’s live with my parents-in-law!
But after I got married, I discovered that living with my parents-in-law was a lot of trouble. First of all, my husband and I have no freedom at all. My mother-in-law always seems to be supervising us. Secondly, the housework is not done by my mother-in-law alone. My mother-in-law and eldest sister always ask me to do this or that, and they are particularly picky about me.
My eldest sister is married, but she comes back to her parents’ house almost every day. She has no job and is a full-time mother at home. Her husband's house and her mother's house are in the same village, and it's only a few minutes' walk back to her mother's house, so it's very easy to go back to her mother's house.
04
I heard from my husband that when my eldest aunt was in high school, her academic performance was quite good. But she got close to her current husband in her senior year of high school. By then, her husband was already working as a driver in a factory.
After my eldest aunt fell in love early, her academic performance plummeted. No matter how hard my parents-in-law scolded her, it was no use. She was like a man possessed and insisted on being with her boyfriend. Later, she reluctantly graduated from high school, and her parents-in-law asked someone to find a job for her and asked her to work hard and stop hanging out with her boyfriend.
Because of the poor conditions in her boyfriend's family, her parents-in-law opposed the marriage, but the eldest aunt didn't listen at all. Not long after, the eldest aunt became pregnant before marriage, and the parents-in-law had no choice but to let them get married.
My eldest aunt's husband's family was not in good condition, but she quit her job immediately after giving birth to her child and became a full-time mother. The family's expenses all depend on her husband's salary, but her husband is just an ordinary delivery driver in the factory and his salary is not high.
With such economic conditions, my eldest aunt still insisted on having a second child, and she has been raising two children ever since. Because my eldest aunt's family was not in good condition, my parents-in-law felt sorry for her and always supported her. When the eldest sister comes back to her mother's house, she is empty-handed, but she always wants to get something when she comes back, even a few vegetables or fruits.
05
My mother-in-law gave the old couple’s things to my eldest sister. Of course I have no objection, and I’m not qualified to take care of it. But my mother-in-law always likes to give my things to my eldest aunt, and my eldest aunt always takes them away without any courtesy, which makes me feel very unhappy.
For example, once I bought a new bag, my eldest sister came back to her parents’ house and saw it, so she took it away. After I found out that the bag was missing, I looked everywhere for it, and then my mother-in-law said that my eldest aunt had taken it away. Because the eldest aunt is going to a relative's house for a wedding banquet, so she has to carry a new bag to save face.
For example, my aunt also comes and takes away the clothes and skin care products I buy. Sometimes her mother-in-law gave it to her, sometimes she took it herself, and they never asked for my opinion. After I expressed my dissatisfaction, my mother-in-law scolded me for being stingy, saying that my eldest aunt is one of my own, how could I be so fussy about it?
Because of these things, I am not happy at all living in my husband's house, so I want to move out and live alone. But I am pregnant, and my husband said it is not good to move out at this time. He is busy at work and is afraid that he cannot take care of me.
I complained to him about the behavior of my eldest aunt and my mother-in-law, and he went to complain to my eldest aunt and my aunt, but they didn't listen at all and even scolded my husband. My husband was very angry and quarreled with them, causing wars at home every day. I saw that my husband was caught in the middle and was being offended, so I could only endure it as much as possible without saying anything.
06
I was pregnant in ten months and gave birth to a big fat boy. Naturally, my family was very happy. Only the eldest aunt spoke in an eccentric manner, saying what a great thing it was to have a child, even if any woman could do so. She has given birth to two children, a son and a daughter, but no se?
I was very unhappy after hearing this. My husband and I were first-time mothers and fathers, so of course we were very excited, but she called us and . Later, I was discharged from the hospital and started confinement at home. My mother-in-law was responsible for buying groceries and cooking, and my husband and I paid for the groceries.
Since the day I was discharged from the hospital, my eldest sister’s family of four has been eating at my parents’ house every day. As a result, the food expenses have naturally increased. At first, my husband and I were embarrassed to say it, thinking that they would only come here to eat for a few days. Who knew they had been eating here all the time.
Later, after my husband and I had a private discussion, my husband went to tell his mother-in-law. As a result, my mother-in-law scolded her husband and said he was too stingy. When my eldest sister found out about this, she yelled at me and said that I must have instigated it, otherwise her brother would not be so stingy.
My mother-in-law also thought it was my fault, so she and my eldest sister scolded me, saying that it was unfortunate for our family to have a daughter-in-law like me. She also said that the eldest aunt would go back to her parents’ house for a few meals, but my sister-in-law was not allowed to do so. She said that I only had money in my eyes and did not recognize brotherly love...
07
After hearing this, I felt angry and sad. In order to comfort me, my husband had another quarrel with my mother-in-law and eldest aunt. Later, the father-in-law came out to seek justice and drove the eldest aunt's family back to his home.
My eldest sister’s family has been eating and drinking freely at her parents’ house for more than 20 days. If the father-in-law hadn’t spoken out, they would have continued eating. Later, although I stopped coming to eat, I came back every day to get food, and continued to eat at my parents' house in a different way. My husband wanted to give his mother-in-law less food money, so her mother-in-law quarreled with him and forced him to take out the money.
When I was about to leave my confinement, my mother-in-law sent me four hooves for my health. Unexpectedly, my mother-in-law gave them all to my eldest aunt's family. In the past, my mother-in-law would give a lot of things sent by my parents' family to my eldest sister's house, but she would not give them all, but this time I gave them all, so I was very angry and quarreled with my mother-in-law.
After the quarrel, three days passed and I finally gave birth, so I insisted on moving out with my husband and living alone. My husband said that it’s not a problem to argue every day. He’s tired of being caught between three women, so he should move out and live alone!
When my mother-in-law heard that we were moving out, she cried and made a fuss. She did not agree with our move. When we got married, she couldn't let go of her son, and now she can't let go of her grandson. But my husband and I were very determined. We insisted on moving out and renting a house. We didn't want our children to grow up in a noisy environment.
Conclusion:
Everything thrives in a harmonious family. If a family wants to prosper, it must be harmonious. Those noisy families will bring disaster. For family harmony, every family member must work hard, learn to think from others' perspective, and be more tolerant and understanding.
When the eldest sister gets married, she should stay less involved in her parents’ family affairs and just take care of her own small family’s affairs. Everyone has to live on their own, and you can't cheat others just because your own financial conditions are not good.
For ordinary small families, it is not easy to make money, and they have to live on a budget. If the eldest aunt brings her husband and children back to her parents' house to stay at her brother's house, of course her sister-in-law will have objections. The younger brother is not alone. He also has his own small family and has to support the family. The older sister must also be considerate and understanding of the younger brother.
When a mother-in-law is dealing with the affairs of her son's family and her daughter's family, she cannot take it upon herself to use the goods of one family to subsidize that family just because that family is in financial difficulty. This will definitely create conflicts. Everyone has their own destiny, different children have different lives, and everyone is responsible for their own lives.
Author: A creator in the emotional field, focusing on various issues in the emotional field, welcome to pay attention. Life is warm because of affection and love. Let us grow in love and spend every day in true love.
