When you meet your ideal lover, many people will become emotional. After they are confused, they will try to give their love to exchange for the heart of their favorite partner.
But if we look at love rationally, we will understand that when we fall in love with someone, the other party will not necessarily like us. For a person who does not like us, no matter how much we give for it, it cannot move the other party.
This unnecessary effort for love not only fails to make us get the ideal love, but will instead make us feel a sense of pain of spiritual internal friction after we give but cannot get rewards.
Psychologists call a person's unnecessary effort to something "sinking cost". The so-called "sinking cost" refers to:
A person's time and energy to something will have an important impact on his future life decisions.
Applying " sunk cost effect " to love relationships, we can get the inspiration: In love, don't give too much for those who don't love you.
The process of a person giving for love is actually the process of him making himself addicted to love. The more he gives for love, the harder it will be to get himself out of this wrong love relationship.
Why is love that goes one-way but cannot get a response is wrong? Because positive love should be a matter between two people, a good love relationship is in two directions. The love that one person persists in will not only bring trouble to the person he likes, but also makes oneself fall into the quagmire of pain and cannot extricate himself.
1. Too much to those who don’t love you will make you fall into pain.
There are two ways to give for love, one is emotional and energy, and the other is material.
If the person you like also likes you, then your efforts to all of them will make sense and you will get the other party’s response to love.
But if the object you give for love does not like you, then all the energy and material you put in for it has no value. Not only can it not increase the distance between love between two people, it will also have a reverse effect on the development of the relationship between two people.
A person pays too much for a person who doesn’t love him, which will make him deeply in pain.
2. If you give too much to someone who doesn’t love you, it will make the other person feel pain.
Accepting the contribution of a person you love, which is a very happy thing. It is a very painful thing to accept the contribution of a person you don’t love.
In the eyes of many people, the efforts of the people they don’t love are not only unable to make him feel happy, but instead makes him think it is a kind of pressure.
The more the other party pays for him, the more he will develop a psychological defense mechanism . Under the question of "Why do you want to please me", he will develop a sense of alertness to those who give for him.
Accepting someone you don’t love and giving for your own efforts is actually a very painful thing. It will make a person become very disgusted with his suitor and make this love relationship go to the brink of collapse.
3, don’t pay too much "sunken costs" for those who don’t love you.
A person's behavior to someone who doesn't love him will invisibly increase the "sinking cost" he paid for this love, which will make it more difficult for him to do it in time and break away from this wrong love.
If a person thinks about the person he loves every day and always finds ways to surprise the other person, then he will devote a lot of time and energy to this love relationship.
Missing someone for a long time will cause an emotional dependence on that person. The accumulation of this dependence on emotions will make it more difficult for him to let go of this relationship.
If a person gives too much for the person he loves, he will be like a person who bets on love. If he does not get any reward, it will be difficult for him to let go.
The more you pay in a wrong love relationship, the more "sinking costs" you pay in this love, the more difficult it is for him to withdraw from this relationship.
psychology "sunken cost effect" tells us that in love relationships, don't pay too much for people who don't love you. This not only has no meaning, but will also make your love relationship develop in the opposite direction you expect.
Too much to those who don’t love you will make you fall into this love relationship and unable to extricate yourself. This behavior will not only make you feel pain, but also make your favorite person feel disgusted with us.
The love relationship that is about to be thought of should be the efforts of both parties to each other, not the wishful thinking of one-way giving. You cannot move someone who doesn’t love you, just like you cannot wake up a person who pretends to be asleep.
When facing someone who doesn’t love you, only by stopping the loss in time and stopping meaningless efforts can we meet the right love.
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