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Nowadays, times have changed.
In the past, we thought that raising children could prevent old age, and that more children would bring more blessings. But now we find that if the education is not good, if the children are not filial or even have a conscience, no matter how many children you have, you may not be guaranteed in your later years.
Uncle Chen from my hometown once chatted with me when I went home and talked about the elderly’s retirement. He said:
"When people get old, they realize that something is true. When you stay at your children’s house for a week, you will understand everything, especially the following three things, which are cruel and realistic."
I combined his story and summarized these three points, hoping to give people who are about to enter their old age a reminder and reference.
1: Children have their own pressure, and may not be able to do everything in retirement
Uncle Chen is in his seventies and has two sons and a daughter. He originally lived alone in his hometown in the countryside. For a period of time, he was not feeling well, so his children took him home to live.
But he regretted it after just one week of his eldest son's house.
In the past, he rarely knew the lives of young people and had never lived with them. He just felt that they were under great pressure and it was not easy. I really lived together and realized that it was not realistic to raise children to prevent old age.
This does not mean that the son is unfilial, but that the son is really unable to do so.
He works early and late every day, earning up to 10,000 yuan a month. Her wife is a clerk in a cosmetics store, only a few thousand a month. The couple has to pay off their mortgage, car loan, take care of the elderly, support their families, and raise their children. It can be said that they are not able to make ends meet. They can't imagine what to do if they are unemployed...
They are under such great pressure, how can they bear to implicate them as parents? So Uncle Chen said: It is already rare for them to not rely on their parents. I really can’t bear to let them support me.
2: Family affection is also realistic. If you have money or no money, useful or useless, you may be treated differently
Some children's reality and selfishness are unimaginable.
For them, there are conditions for their parents to support their elderly care. When they have something to do and need help, their parents either pay or work hard, otherwise why should they support you for nothing?
Doesn't think so, after all, they have the obligation to support their parents' old age, but their daughter-in-law and son-in-law do not. If you spend too much time, energy and money to support your parents' old age, they will inevitably have opinions.
The family conditions are good, but fortunately, if the family conditions are not good, and even their own small family can't take care of it, it will become a problem to survive. It will cost so much effort and money to support their parents' old age. Can they accept it?
So when people are old, rich or useless, useful or useless, they may be treated differently, which is extremely realistic.
3: Don’t expect to raise children to prevent old age. People will only learn to rely on themselves. This is really guaranteed.
Compared with most people, Uncle Chen should be considered lucky because he has a pension of several thousand yuan a month, which has basically been saved in these years and has not spent much.
children also know this, so they have no objection to taking care of him. Although their conditions are average, Uncle Chen is already very pleased to be dedicated to himself.
But what about the elderly who have no pension or deposits? You may be relatively passive because you have no confidence and it is inevitable that you will have to look at your children's expressions.
This reminds us that when people get old, don’t expect to raise children to prevent them. Only by learning to rely on yourself can we have more guarantees in our future life.
There are some things that you don’t have to wait until you get old before you understand. Making some preparations in advance can give you more guarantees and a way out.
If we had not placed all our lives in our children early in the morning, we would not have felt disappointed later because the other party did not match our feelings.
You must know that when children get married, everything cannot be controlled by us anymore. Living more for yourself, planning more for yourself, and learning to rely on yourself are often a smarter choice.
END
