Dear child:
I’m very happy to know that you have a girlfriend, and I’m also happy to tell us now, so let us have the opportunity to guide you more. Research on the experience of love and literature and art, the deeds of joys and sorrows among friends for decades and their daily observations and reflections, so that we can have more conditions for participation in the lifelong affairs of our children than other parents, and help you pass this life hurdle.
First of all, be as calm as possible for both attitude and mood, otherwise the observation will not be accurate. In the early stage of interaction, it is easy to be emotionally impulsive. Just based on your impression, you can only see the other person's strengths and not see the shortcomings. Even if you interact with friends of the same sex, it is even more common for the opposite sex. During emotional excitement, not only will you be unaware of your ears, eyesight, and unable to see the other person clearly; you will also unconsciously perform only one aspect and hide your shortcomings. Another advantage of staying calm is that it will not waste your job in order to fall in love, or affect your homework, waste time, damage your health, or disturb your mood when encountering big or small twists and turns.
The so-called calmness is not only superficial actions, but also in the heart and in thought. It is difficult. People are always people, and it is difficult to control their feelings. It is even more difficult for young people to maintain a balance between body and mind without love. It is also related to each person's temperament. I can't be calm and excited in my life. This is my biggest shortcoming. Fortunately, we can still analyze objectively and think carefully afterwards so that the intention on the spot will continue to develop and make trouble. I will tell you this to let you know that if you cannot restrain yourself temporarily, reason must be used to control the overall situation later; correct what should be corrected, apologize to others, and collect the bulbs when it should be collected. In short, the above two points can be summarized as follows: feelings must be controlled by reason. To do this, we must work hard and exercise for a long time in real life.
I have never had the view that "love is first". "Truth first", "moral first", and "justice first", all these should be the principle of establishing one's own life. No matter how enthusiastic orgasm is, love cannot violate these principles. Whether it is a friend or a lover, you must not give in to issues related to truth, morality, justice, etc. when encountering a major juncture.
Secondly, humans are the most complex animals, and observation must never be simplified, but must be patient, meticulous and in-depth, after a considerable time and various accidents and occasions. We must combine objective spirit with compassion and compassion everywhere. To identify the other party’s strengths, whether they are real and reliable, whether they are imagined by yourself, or exaggerated. The other party’s shortcomings must be distinguished whether they are related to the essence. Disadvantages related to nature cannot be ignored because of the many other secondary advantages. Secondary shortcomings must also be distinguished whether they can be changed, and whether they continue to develop will affect their character or daily life. Everyone has shortcomings, both men and women in love are like this. The problem is not to find a partner who has no shortcomings, but to find a partner who can recognize each other's shortcomings, admit each other, be willing to gradually change, and tolerate each other (this point is very important. Some shortcomings can be tolerated by both parties; some cannot be tolerated, and cracks will be caused over time.) It is best for both parties to try to be natural and not artificial. Each person will show their true faces and let each other see their strengths and weaknesses. We must see each other's advantages and disadvantages, and feel that we can tolerate each other and give in and will not affect the overall situation before we can further understand; otherwise we can only be an ordinary friend. However, it takes a lot of time to fully see each other's strengths and weaknesses, and it also requires various accidents of all sizes to test; it is absolutely impossible to be impatient! You can't draw conclusions easily! (Whether it is a good conclusion or a bad conclusion) Only by being very honest can you expose yourself; and the sooner you expose your shortcomings, the better, and the later you become worse! It is actually stupid to hide your shortcomings in order to succeed in love. Of course, in love, unconsciously expressing one's own bright side and unknowingly hiding one's own shortcomings is not the case. Because this is human instinct, and it also proves that love can promote us to progress and develop in the direction of goodness and beauty. It is the greatness of love and the main reason why poets from ancient times to the present praise love...
Subjectively, we still need to be mentally prepared if we fail. In order to avoid the pain of breaking up and other love, I think this "wise" should be fully grasped at the beginning...
You can’t be anxious. The more important it is, the more you should be calm and peaceful, consider it for a long time, observe carefully, and strive to be objective! It is easy to reach the peak of love, but the peak (or climax) of anything can only last for a short period of time. It is difficult to maintain a long-term friendship over time...
In addition to the advantages and disadvantages, whether the two have similar personalities and tempers is also an important factor. The differences between hardness, softness, softness and urgency must be adapted and adjusted to each other. There are also many small habits that are manifested in actions, attitudes, laughter, voices... and cannot be described or counted. They also play a great role between men and women. To understand these, you have to watch and slowly savor them. ...The poet often says that love is blind, but not blind love is more sound and more reliable after all. People’s elegance and vulgarity and their broad mind should also be very careful. ...You have been used to the style of your family since childhood, and you will definitely not tolerate a narrow-minded personality.
above talks about all the principles of cage...
Although appearance and figure are not the main consideration, a person who loves beauty should not ignore it too much.
During the dating period, try to give less gifts and spend less money: on the one hand, it shows that your concept of love is rarely involved in material relationships; on the other hand, it also tests the other person.
Fu Lei
(quoted from "Fu Lei's Family Letter")
Subjectively, we still need to be mentally prepared if we fail. In order to avoid the pain of breaking up and other love, I think this "wise" should be fully grasped at the beginning...
You can’t be anxious. The more important it is, the more you should be calm and peaceful, consider it for a long time, observe carefully, and strive to be objective! It is easy to reach the peak of love, but the peak (or climax) of anything can only last for a short period of time. It is difficult to maintain a long-term friendship over time...
In addition to the advantages and disadvantages, whether the two have similar personalities and tempers is also an important factor. The differences between hardness, softness, softness and urgency must be adapted and adjusted to each other. There are also many small habits that are manifested in actions, attitudes, laughter, voices... and cannot be described or counted. They also play a great role between men and women. To understand these, you have to watch and slowly savor them. ...The poet often says that love is blind, but not blind love is more sound and more reliable after all. People’s elegance and vulgarity and their broad mind should also be very careful. ...You have been used to the style of your family since childhood, and you will definitely not tolerate a narrow-minded personality.
above talks about all the principles of cage...
Although appearance and figure are not the main consideration, a person who loves beauty should not ignore it too much.
During the dating period, try to give less gifts and spend less money: on the one hand, it shows that your concept of love is rarely involved in material relationships; on the other hand, it also tests the other person.
Fu Lei
(quoted from "Fu Lei's Family Letter")
