1
On holidays, Zhang Han's husband asked her if she would take her daughter to see her grandparents. Zhang Han refuses every time. My husband said to her, "Many women complain that my husband will not go back to her parents' home. I begged you to go back to you. It's really strange."
Zhang Han did not explain and did his own thing. There are too many reasons why she doesn't want to go home. It doesn't seem like a big deal to say it, but she is frustrated when pretending nothing happened.
Zhang Han's parents-in-law died early and there was no one to take care of her during the confinement period. She asked her mother whether she could come to take care of her during the confinement period. My mother hesitated and said, "I'm fine, but I don't know if your sister-in-law agrees. She just changed to a new job, so I'm afraid she's busy."
Zhang Han said, "If you want to come, I'll go and communicate with my sister-in-law." However, my mother always has a vague attitude, not saying it well or not saying it well.
dragged it back and forth and about to give birth, Zhang Han could only hire an -month nanny at a salary of 4,500 yuan per month. In a life where you already need to be careful, squeeze out the salary of a nanny like milk.
Two years later, Zhang Han got pregnant unexpectedly, but he had to undergo surgery because of problems with prenatal examination. Zhang Han was heartbroken. My mother often calls, but she doesn't come to take care of her. Instead, he said that he would let his relatives come over to take care of him for a few days.
Zhang Han did not agree. His mother had nothing to do at home. She didn’t come to take care of herself, but instead invited others. Isn’t this a joke?
Zhang Han did not agree, and rested at home for 3 days, and then picked up his daughter to school and did laundry and cook after school as usual. Because of poor rest, Zhang Han's health recovered for a long time.
In Zhang Han's opinion, this is just the tip of the iceberg of mother's bias. It was also a birthday, and on Zhang Han’s birthday, my mother called at most and asked, “Today is your birthday. Have you bought a cake? What delicious food did you eat?” There was nothing else.
Zhang Han got married and started a family. He was not a child, so naturally he did not expect a birthday gift from his mother. But when my sister-in-law celebrated her birthday, her mother gave her a necklace worth 6,000 yuan.
If my sister-in-law hadn't said it accidentally, she would have been kept in the dark. Zhang Han hoped that she would not know, and she would be sad after knowing it.
Have she bought less for her mother? Clothes, shoes, mobile phones, etc. Was she not good to her mother before? During the operation, she was alone in the hospital to take care of her. When she was sick, she was by her side and was wronged and stood up for her mother. Only she listened carefully and responded to the words her mother was nagging.
Then the mother favors one and treats her daughter and daughter-in-law differently.
What made Zhang Han even more worried was that his mother took good care of her niece. The niece can almost be said to have grown up on her mother's back, and she can take care of her niece any good thing. Once, my niece accidentally hit my mother's toe with a dumbbell, and it was bleeding and swelling very badly. But my mother didn't even shout, she gasped and comforted her niece.
But my mother has almost never held Zhang Han’s daughter. She has biscuits and grapes that her daughter likes to eat at home, and she never takes the initiative to drive her out for her to eat. The red envelope for my daughter during the Spring Festival is 200 yuan. But I will give my niece a red envelope of 1,000 yuan.
There are countless pieces of things like this. Zhang Han sneered at himself. When he was almost hit by a motorcycle, his mother let go of his hand and avoided it. She couldn't overcome that hurdle and comforted herself. It turned out that her mother really didn't love her.
2
Motorcycle incident has always been Zhang Han’s heart disease.
That wasn't until she graduated from college. One night, she and her mother went shopping. The mother and daughter happily held hands and chatted while walking.
Suddenly an out-of-control motorcycle rushed towards them, and the middle-aged man driving yelled and said to get out of the way.
At that moment, Zhang Han was confused and could not receive information and provide feedback even if his brain was short-circuited. At that critical moment, my mother let go of her hand and quickly flashed across the side.
Just as the mother let go of her hand, Zhang Han realized and hurriedly avoided the motorcycle, but was still hit by the car.
Fortunately, the man driving controlled the car behind him. Although he was hit, the force was not strong. Zhang Han just swollen his thigh and wiped his hand when he fell.
The man apologized repeatedly and said he would take him to the hospital for examination. Zhang Han's tears suddenly fell. It’s not because of the pain, but because of the fear, but also because of the fear of being let go. It’s so clear that it can’t be erased.
But my mother did not explain this to her afterwards, as if nothing had happened. Zhang Han comforted himself, a human instinct, if she became a mother in the future, she might not be better than her mother. Zhang Han deliberately forgot about
, but he thought of it from time to time.
and this incident eventually became the fuse for the conflict between Zhang Han and his mother.
For a long time, I haven't taken the initiative to see Zhang Han's mother suddenly came to her home with a large bag of small bags of specialties in her hometown. Zhang Han was also puzzled why his mother suddenly changed her sex.
But soon Zhang Han knew that it was a place where he would not enter the Three Treasure Hall without any trouble.
"Don't you have a friend who is a teacher at No. 3 Middle School? You see, your eldest nephew graduated from elementary school. You can learn about it with your friend and ask her to give me some advice and see how to find a school. Of course, if there is a way to go to No. 3 Middle School, that's best." Mom smiled and a sincere flower bloomed on her face.
"It's OK to ask, but now the study scores, school districts, etc. are clearly stipulated."
"I don't understand this, but you must do your best to help your sister-in-law, okay?"
Zhang Han looked at his mother's face as if he was saddled, and remembered the motorcycle incident and the mother's all her life towards him. The long-standing grievances surged up.
"You went there personally for your sister-in-law, and you did everything for her. You helped her raise two children. You haven't seen my daughter many times. You gave her all good things to her. You carefully prepared birthday gifts. I respect you as a part of the money for buying birthday gifts, right? It's okay to do this to me, but I'm the same for my daughter. As expected, my granddaughter is not as good as my granddaughter's kiss."
Mom's face was choked by this, and she opened her mouth but said nothing.
"I knew it long ago. When the motorcycle rushed over, you avoided it without hesitation, leaving me alone to face the danger. I have seen through it." Zhang Han held back her tears. She also hated her like this, as if she was getting angry and eating candy with her mother.
"What do you really think?" Mom looked at Zhang Han seriously and turned her head aside.
"I was also instinctive about motorcycles back then. When I realized it, I felt it was safer to let go of your hands and avoid them on both sides. I don't know what you think."
Zhang Han was unmoved. How pale and powerless this explanation was, it was simply a hindsight, and he was a forced remark.
"Besides, I am indeed more concerned about your sister-in-law, but I think you can understand me." Mom glanced at Zhang Han deeply again.
"What do you understand you, do you understand the water splashed by your married daughter? Do you understand how thoroughly you have practiced it?" If you don't say it, Zhang Han is even more excited when he says it.
"The relationship between sister-in-law and sister-in-law is not that simple. Some daughter-in-law always feels that mother-in-law cares about her daughter, so she goes against her sister-in-law everywhere, quarrels, quarrels, fights, and messes. I am good to your sister-in-law because of your goodness. I am good to her and she will not care about you in everything, and will not make things difficult for you."
mother saw that Zhang Han didn't say anything, and continued, "You see, your sister-in-law and you have had conflicts over the years?"
Zhang Han thought about it. Indeed, although she has not had a close relationship with her sister-in-law for so many years, at least she is harmonious on the surface and has never quarreled. Sometimes she will help each other a little. Could it be that this is all due to the balance of my mother?
"You are just partial." Zhang Han was dissatisfied.
"Silly girl, you came out of your mother's belly when you were pregnant for ten months. Why don't I care about you? I don't know how many tears you shed when you have surgery, but at that time our area happened to be blocked. You said I don't care about my granddaughter. When I was young, she said that her skull was not closed. I ran many places in a day and begged my grandpa to seek medicine everywhere."
Mom said a lot of things again, with true feelings. Zhang Han is not a sarcastic heart, and he is also touched in his heart, but it is impossible to smile by smiling.
Maybe it can only be handed over to time. If it is really a misunderstanding, time can naturally prove everything. If it is really a preference, the facts will also speak.
3
Whether it is a girl or a woman, no matter how she grows older, she will always care, "Does mom love me? ”
From the story of Zhang Han and her mother, we can understand two truths:
Correct attitude and correctly understand. Women should try not to compete for favor with their sister-in-law and sister-in-law after getting married. The formation of every new relationship means that everyone must assume their own role responsibilities. For example, in the story, Zhang Han’s mother is not only the mother of her daughter, but also the mother-in-law of her daughter-in-law.
As a mother-in-law, she must take care of her Grandchildren, we must unite and be harmonious in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and balance the relationship between family members. Sometimes what we see is not true, we must also see the essence through phenomena. If a mother has always loved her daughter, it is unlikely that she will have a daughter-in-law and ignore her daughter.
Women get married, and hope that her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a good relationship, a good relationship between sister-in-law and sister-in-law and sister-in-law. Think from the perspective of others, isn’t everything her mother does for everyone’s good? If the original intention is good and the behavior is inappropriate, then you can understand and communicate.
Misunderstanding is an inevitable side in relationships. One of the functions of long mouths is to eliminate misunderstandings in time. life is not a TV series. Misunderstandings occur in TV series, because of misunderstandings, emotional life is full of twists and turns. However, misunderstandings in real life will only consume emotions and torture both parties, and as the misunderstanding deepens, it is difficult to reverse, and may even cause tragedy.
Many misunderstandings occur when they are impulsive and fail to understand the other party. First determine the other party’s fault and think about the problem. When things go, you will fall into pain. Before you get involved in self-disease, you might as well think about it first. Is this possible a "misunderstanding"?
When there is unhappiness among relatives, you need to communicate in time. First, eliminate the emotions of self-wrenching, objectively look at the root of things, and find the right time to communicate. If it is really a misunderstanding, eliminate it. If it is really a fact, face what you should face, and you can also avoid the pain of entanglement and doubt.
未分类, I hope you are good and I am good and everyone is good.
