If you are married, I want to ask a question: If you have a next life, will you still choose marriage?
My answer is: I will never, yes, it is I will never be sure. I believe most people will agree with my answer, especially women.
Marriage is tantamount to a woman to detract from her personal value. There is no need to elaborate on the truth. If you think about it, you will know that women’s personal value sacrifices in marriage. Many women spend their time and energy in their lives for their families and children, busy all their lives, without self-deprecating, but end up with a result that their husbands and sons do not understand. This is the main reason why many women regret marriage.
Modern society With the improvement of the social status of women, women's chances of participating in social work have greatly improved compared to the past. Women no longer need to live by relying on men. Therefore, many women have begun to reject marriage. They pay more attention to the realization of their self-worth, do not want to become a fertility machine, and do not want to spend their short life on marriage.
In order to better realize personal value, many women have begun to redefine their lives and also began to redefine the value of marriage. Under such trends of thinking, non-marriageism has begun to prevail. However, for the parents of elders, their understanding of marriage is deeply rooted. In their perception, only marriage can give people the greatest sense of security. The inherent idea of raising children to prevent old age has been rooted in their hearts. Without marriage, it means no children, and without children means ending alone in their old age.
When faced with children who chose not to marry and infertile, parents began to panic. They tried their best to persuade their children to get married and advise their children to have children, so that there are people to take care of and support their children when they get old, but they ignore the children's personal feelings. In their opinion, the main meaning of life is to have a happy family. One can pass on the family line, and the other can raise children to prevent old age. Third, they believe that marriage and family can bring people the most important happy experience. Even if they have not managed a happy family well in their lives, they believe that as long as they have their experience and financial ability as auxiliary, their children can be happier than their families after starting a family, because there are their financial and experience bonuses.
This is the fundamental reason why many parents force their children to get married even if their marriage is not happy.
In the eyes of parents, the unhappiness in marriage is not that scary than the loneliness of children. In their cognition, the lonely life is more scary than the noisy in marriage.
And in the eyes of children, the realization of personal value is far greater than the benefits brought by marriage. They don’t want their short and precious life to be spent in a life that can be upset because of trivial matters. They just want to focus all their energy on improving their self-worth, and they don’t want anyone to separate their energy, nor do they want to spend a lot of time and energy on accommodating others. This is the biggest difference between young people and their parents in life values, in other words, the generation gap.
The young people in the current era are not only unwilling to get married, but more and more men are not willing to enter the traditional lifestyle of marriage. Whether it is men or women, they have formed such an understanding of marriage: marriage is too tired.
More men want to find a woman who can share the joys and sorrows with them and be considerate of each other as their life partner. However, what disappoints them is that with the imbalance of the ratio of men and women, many women have a sense of superiority. They want to gain benefits through marriage, and even many women want to earn half of their lives through marriage (male thinking angle), which makes marriage more and more materialistic.
With the rapid development of social economy, many originally simple emotions have been materialized. The prevalence of consumerism has made marriages based on love become material as the core. People no longer regard love as the foundation for measuring marriage, but regard material as a standard for whether a marriage can last and whether it is worth entering.
Once upon a time, the first condition for people to measure whether a person is suitable for marriage is whether the two parties have feelings and what the other party’s character is. These are the first priority, and whether there is a house or a car is the second option. However, in modern marriages, the latter has become the primary consideration, while the former has been placed second. When facing feelings and marriage, both men and women calculate gains and losses, and each makes small plans. No one is willing to make too many sacrifices. No one is afraid that they will lose more than they gain. In such a serious objectified mind, marriage has become unrecognizable. Marriage lacks the emotional warmth it deserves, and it has become a kind of transaction and a kind of cooperation.
In the cognition of parents, marriage is the result of love, and in the cognition of young people, marriage is a kind of cooperation. The essence of marriage is the optimized combination of resources between the two parties, and its essence is interests. If marriage cannot maximize the interests of both parties and cannot achieve the optimized combination, then marriage has no meaning of existence.
Different era backgrounds will give birth to different life patterns. The times are progressing, and life patterns will inevitably change accordingly. Marriage, a tradition that has been passed down for thousands of years, is likely to disappear in the future era. This is not a sensational saying, any life pattern or social system. It must be based on whether it is suitable for the development of productivity.
In the current era, women have more means of production in their hands. When they no longer obtain daily necessities by relying on men, they will definitely not need to bind to men through marriage, and they do not need to rely on their children to live in their old age. They can completely rely on their work ability to get rewards to obtain more material foundations and realize their meaning in their lives. When they are old, they can spend their old age through a more perfect pension system in society.
And people of their parents' generation still stay in the era they live in. In their cognition, only through their children can they ensure that they will not live alone in their old age. The value and happiness of life can only be perfected through the family. They do not think that personal value is very important. Their focus on the evaluation of life value is family as the core. On this point, they cannot form a unity with their children, which has created irreconcilable contradictions. This is also one of the reasons why their own marriage is unhappy but still forces their children to get married. The fundamental reason why
is that the difference in values and values between the two generations have different understandings of the meaning of life, and therefore their understanding of marriage has also changed. This is also the reason why many children cannot convince their parents to accept that they do not marry.
History is always surprisingly similar. Free love is popular when parents were young. At that time, parents of parents also opposed free love as they now oppose their children not to marry. The times are progressing, but the ideas of the older generation cannot follow the times, and there will definitely be a gap between the two generations, which is an inevitable contradiction.
will eventually end up with the compromise of the previous generation.
When every new life pattern appears, it will always go through the process of being denied, suppressed, questioned, and accepted. This is an innovation, no matter any life pattern.
From the abolition of polygamy, to the prevalence of monogamy, to the extinction of the marriage system, every life model is based on the development of the times. As long as it is a model suitable for the development of productivity, it will definitely become the mainstream life model. This model is the most basic production relationship .
Any life model is based on whether it adapts to the development of productivity. The times are developing, and the wheel of history is rolling forward, which cannot be stopped by anyone or any force. Therefore, whether marriage disappears is not determined by whether the previous generation agrees, but by whether it adapts to the development of this era.
My child has quarreled with his parents several times because he was not married. His parents strongly opposed her not marrying. She was very distressed and talked to me many times. I told her: You must become stronger, so strong that your parents think that you will still have a support even if you leave the marriage. At this time, they will no longer object to your not getting married. The main reason they oppose that you will not get married is that they are afraid that you will leave the marriage and have no children, they are helpless in their old age and are afraid that you will suffer without anyone to take care of you.
Women who are too excellent are generally single. When the idea of inheriting the family line is weakened, men are also unwilling to get married, and marriage will surely die.
