Have a set of data online:
In recent years, the divorce rate of couples aged 40-50 accounts for more than 40%.
That is to say, among the 100 divorced couples, there are more than 40 middle-aged couples.
When we are talking about marriage, many people subconsciously weaken the proportion of love in marriage.
It seems that everyone subconsciously defaults: "After marriage is long, love no longer exists."
In fact, love has not disappeared, but has just turned into another emotion.
Relatively speaking, men have more choices in divorce, and women, especially "full-time housewives", have less choices.
share a case with you:
This wife is 45 years old, married her husband for 20 years, and her child has just been in college.
Her marriage is really unfortunate.
After getting married, she took on the role of a full-time housewife at home. At the beginning, her husband would pay her salary.
Later, the child grew up and went to school slowly. Her husband only gave her 3,000 living expenses a month.
These money also includes children's expenses, family shopping, and daily necessities expenses.
The child is in middle school, and she goes to accompany her to study and rents a house outside to live.
It was also at that time that my husband had an extramarital affair.
She once thought about giving up marriage, but when she thought of her children's studies, she gave up the idea of divorce.
Unexpectedly, her silence brought her husband's "intensity" hurt.
She rented a house near the school to accompany her study, but the third party "occupied the nest" and lived with her husband for a while.
During the consultation process, I asked this wife:
"Do you still love him?"
She said: "I have long since stopped loving you. Before I learned that he betrayed the marriage, we had no feelings for us; he is macho, disrespectful to me and my children, and has no sense of responsibility for the family."
html l0 I asked her, "Then why aren't you braver, divorce him, and then start your own life again?"She said, "I have been a full-time housewife for nearly 20 years. If you say I start my life again, I will not be able to work anymore; what can I do? Can the money I earn support myself? What should I do if the child?"
In fact, through this case, it is not difficult for us to analyze the reasons why middle-aged women still dare not divorce when they experience marital crisis.
1. Full-time housewife, without the courage and ability to divorce
Where does the full-time housewife suffer?
The child was born, and she gave up her career and took care of her husband and children at home.
If the husband has a sense of responsibility, loves her and cares about the family, then her life will not be too bad.
But if a man is unreliable, irresponsible, and machismo, then the life of a full-time housewife is a tragedy.
has not worked for a long time, has no income, and is no longer suitable for the current workplace environment.
Not only that, she doesn’t even have the ability to work independently and work hard for her career.
When a person stays at home for a long time, he will feel "unfamiliar and fear" about the outside world.
Not confident, lack of money, and lack of courage to start a new life is the main reason why full-time housewives dare not divorce.
2. Don’t worry about your child
In fact, mothers care more about their children, which is based on the basis of this.
10 months pregnant, and he raised the child with one handful of shit and one handful of urine.
In this process, the husband's sense of participation can be said to be very low.
Every child is the mother's heart.
Therefore, the reason why many middle-aged women do not divorce is that they "can't bear to leave their children."
They will hesitate:
"If I really divorced, the child is so young, what should he do next?"
"What if the child has a stepmother and is not good for the child?"
"After divorce, I may not be able to get the custody of the child. Without children, how should I live alone?"
Every woman's weakness is actually a child.
Think of a sentence written by Wang Shuo :
"However you choose a marriage is wrong, a happy marriage is wrong just because it is wrong."
What do middle-aged women need to seize their marriage and start their own life again?
First: You must have your own job and income
"It is better to rely on yourself than anyone else", this sentence is an eternal truth.
How did women get the confidence?
depends on men? Men are simply unreliable.
depends on parents? Parents also get old one day.
can only rely on yourself, have a stable job and have enough income; isn’t a woman’s confidence just given by money?
Mobile phones have electricity, money in their pockets, and oil in their cars, so women can have more say in their marriage.
2: Only when praise and a sense of crisis coexist, can men pay more attention to you
There is a concept in psychology called " Pigmarion effect ", also called " Rosenthal effect ".
means:
Compared with criticism, praising a person is more likely to be accepted by the other party.
Only by letting the other party have expectations can he be motivated; only by letting the other party feel praised and supported can he be more convinced to you.
When you get along with a man, you must learn to praise rather than "sarcasticly and belittle";
Occasionally support and worship him, so that he will be grateful to you.
Of course, this does not mean that you always give.
While praising you, you must also learn to create a sense of crisis for men.
made him realize:
"I am willing to be nice to you because I love you; if you don't care about me, I have the courage to leave you at any time."
To put it bluntly, love or marriage is a "game game" between two people.
Whoever seizes the initiative will win.
Today's topic:
Do you think, why do some people don't leave if they can't go on?
(Article pictures are from the Internet)
