text: Wang Xiaojia Photo: Sister Zhang, a neighbor from the Internet
, has been suffering from Alzheimer's disease for many years, and finally passed away the day before yesterday.
During my work, my wife and I were colleagues for several years, and we worked in the kindergarten in the unit. My wife is the principal of the kindergarten and she is a full-time medical staff. Coupled with years of neighbor relationship, the two families get along well.
For example, no matter who has a headache or fever in our family, no matter day or night, as long as we go to Sister Zhang, she will immediately bring stethoscope and thermometer to my house. After some consultation, she prescribed a prescription and told us where to buy medicine, and we don’t even drink tea.
Once, Sister Zhang was sick. After her wife found out, she gave her several hundred yuan and asked her to buy some fruits and other nutritional supplements to replenish her body. After knowing the wedding and wedding events of the two families, they actively participated in each other.
After learning about the death of Sister Zhang, my wife went to pay her condolences on behalf of our whole family, and asked her family if she had anything to do that she needed help? For example, help tear filial cloth or something.
When my wife went to the mourning shed to pay her respects after the funeral money, there was no one in the mourning shed. So she found Sister Zhang's daughter and said, "Why is there no one in your mother's mom's mourning shed?"
Unexpectedly, Sister Zhang's daughter looked unhappy and looked at my wife with a dark cloud on her face, and then she hit her head-on: "You are trembling, don't you see we are all busy? Meddle in other people's business!" The sentence of
that I can make a pit when I landed, really made my wife stunned, silently, and avoided it boringly.
With this lesson, you should be cautious in speaking. If you can say less, say less. If you can say nothing, don’t say nothing. Silence is gold.
However, my wife did not accept the lesson she had just been hit. After three minutes, she made an old problem.
When she came out of the mourning shed, she heard that Sister Zhang's son was discussing with several people about who would throw the labor basin at that time. My wife said quickly, "Is it necessary to say that our grandson is throwing a labor pot here. This is a rule inherited by the older generation. Who can make your son fall?
Sister Zhang's only son works in another place. She has long been an expert in a hospital in a big city. Her son has a successful academic career and has also gone abroad for many years to study. Although we have almost never seen Sister Zhang’s son, we are even less aware of her son’s situation.
"My son is in the United States, so I can't let him fly from the United States to throw a labor basin for my grandma, right?" Sister Zhang's son complained again at my wife. She seemed particularly boring and came back unhappily.
After I came back, I asked her about some of the situation when she went to pay her condolences. She sighed and said, "Don't mention it, it makes me angry!" Then, she told me the above two things that embarrassed and embarrassed her.
After analysis, I said the following words to my wife to comfort her, which prompted her to quickly get out of her depression.
I said, maybe Sister Zhang’s son and daughter are physically and mentally exhausted and in a low spirit to deal with her mother’s funeral, so she is anxious and disrespectful to you. They are juniors, they watch them grow up, and call us aunts and uncles. They just think that they are our children. For Sister Zhang and our families have a good relationship, don’t worry, don’t take it too seriously.
Then I said that when faced with all the people who came to mourn their mother, even relatives and friends who usually had conflicts, they should treat each other with courtesy. Even if they were unhappy, they should not be treated in the face.
Besides, you are too thoughtful and you can speak without any discernment. You can just come out. In such occasions, we go to burn paper, give gifts of money, burn paper, bow, and comfort the family of the deceased. If you say too much, it is like the relationship between the country, and you have interfered in the "internal affairs" of other countries.
A few words made my wife smile on her face and said repeatedly, "Yes, yes, you're saying it makes sense."
This day happens to be the National Day. She went to cook paper for Sister Zhang, so I arranged lunch at home. My wife didn’t drink wine. During the meal, I poured a small glass of white wine for her and said to her, come on, I’ll give you a shit, cheers!
In fact, I still want to let her forget the unpleasant thing in the morning as soon as possible. I advise her to avoid meddling in other people's business in the future, live our own life wholeheartedly, live every day happily, be as good as possible, and prolong life.
Always care about few things, especially the affairs of others, which is what we elderly people should follow.
