In " Walden ", there is a sentence:
"Most of the time, being alone is beneficial to physical and mental health."
agrees deeply.
Before being alone, this person's heart is "lonely".
Loneliness is the predecessor of being alone. Only after being alone for a long time can one take the initiative or passively choose to accept being alone and "enjoy being alone".
So, what exactly causes loneliness?
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3 reasons for loneliness
First: Emotional loneliness
Home at different stages, people will experience different emotional loneliness.
For example:
The feeling of loneliness in love.
Common loneliness is "ignored": even if you two live together every day, you still feel lonely; he doesn't understand you, doesn't understand you, has no mood, is not romantic, is different from your three views.
Every minute and every second you are with each other makes you feel very distressed.
and the loneliness of "unrequited love".
Love the other person is your own business and has nothing to do with the other person; from beginning to end, you are giving alone, and the other person is indifferent to your efforts.
Like someone, but always feels cold and lonely. There is also a sense of loneliness in the friendship between
.
There are too few friends who understand you. The older you are, the fewer and fewer friends around you who can speak intimate words.
And, the number of friends will continue to decrease as you age and the environment you live in will change.
Life is a process of constantly filtering and filtering friends. In the end, there are only three or two friends who can stay by your side.
fewer and fewer friends, and fewer people can come out to have a meal and chat, which is also a kind of loneliness.
"Being a stranger in a foreign land alone", this is the loneliness of missing homesickness and missing relatives.
These are all called "emotional loneliness".
2: The loneliness brought by growth
People at different ages will experience different things and become mature and steady in their hearts.
When you were young, you would have strong emotional fluctuations because of a sentence;
But now, you can control your emotions well. The price of growth of
is "lostness".
Leaving your parents and going to another place to study in college alone. This is a kind of loneliness;
parted with friends, and while I was drinking, I vaguely saw each other's future and understood that your friendship might end here.
These are all the loneliness on our growth path.
Third: Actively get out of meaningless and complex circles
This kind of loneliness is spontaneous, active, and has little to do with the outside world.
For example:
When you realize that you are out of place with the circle around you and have no common topics with the people around you.
At the dinner party, everyone was drinking and bragging and showing off. You hid in the corner early and watched all this coldly.
is not that you cannot integrate, but that you actively choose to marginalize yourself. What is
like?
You like reading books very much. When you have nothing to do, you will find a quiet corner to read and write;
The circle around you basically don’t read books very much.
Every time you study, everyone will mock you. Circles like
will make you feel disgusted. Since
cannot be integrated, please stay away.
Reading is like life and cannot be fully shared with others.
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Why is it a great thing to "enjoy loneliness"?
People who like loneliness and can live a lonely life seriously are not simple.
When we have the ability to enjoy loneliness and learn to be lonely, you will find that loneliness can bring you many benefits.
First: loneliness can let you understand your true self
When there are many people, your attention will not be focused on yourself at all; only when you are free and alone can you recognize yourself: "Who am I, what I need, what I have, and what I can do."
Alone is like "meditation".
When we are meditating, we can clearly perceive many changes in our body and many fluctuations in our emotions.
This process is the process of our feeling our own mental power.
Enjoying loneliness can give you enough insight and a rational mind.
2: It will give us a "sense of boundaries"
What is a sense of boundaries?
sense of boundary is a sense of measure in any relationship.
There is a concept in psychology called " hedgehog effect ".
It was cold in the morning, and two little hedgehogs approached each other to keep warm. The closer the hedgehog is to be, the easier it is to stab the other person; the two hedgehogs constantly adjust their positions and finally find a place where they can keep warm with each other.
But this position has a sense of distance.
isn't this even more true for social relationships and intimacy?
Getting too close to others and walking too frequently is not conducive to maintaining your friendship.
On the contrary, only by maintaining a certain sense of proportion and distance can one "create beauty".
3 Third: Loneliness is the best "value-added period" for a person
Why do you say that?
people are a machine that keeps learning and working.
When you use the machine, you must also provide regular maintenance and repairs to extend the machine's service cycle and limit. The same is true for
people.
people have to work, live, and deal with all kinds of things every day; the time alone that has finally been idle belongs to him completely.
Someone said: "What opens up the gap between people is that you can't see what the other party did in the time when you can't see the other party."
is indeed the case.
The harder you work, the more others will not be able to catch up with you.
Enjoy being alone and constantly hone your emotions, abilities and skills while being alone.
You will find that when you accept loneliness and enjoy loneliness, your life will become better and better.
Today’s topic:
Do you like loneliness?
(Article pictures are from the Internet)
