Author丨Tongyu
In the past, I always heard others say this: Love is a matter for two people, but marriage is a matter for two families.
When I have not entered a mature marriage relationship, or when no one around me has entered a marriage relationship, I don’t agree with this statement. I think as long as two people fall in love, they don’t have to care too much about each other’s families.
But later, more and more people around me will tell me with their real experience: Many times, the truths that people who have experienced it are often correct. It’s just that people who truly experience it have experienced the ups and downs of life, and things in the past cannot be repeated.
Some time ago, I had a married friend who solemnly told me: If your parents think it is unreliable in a marriage and insist on disagreeing, then you must think twice. Parents will not harm you, they just stand at a height you have never reached and give you the kindest reminder.
is just, whether you listen or not, it is definitely up to you.
After all, in life, there are many people who do not hit the wall and do not look back. If they do not suffer any losses, they will never learn their lessons.
Parents are really far-sighted and will not make friends with three types of people. This is not snobbish, but taking the overall situation into consideration.
01. Parents are particularly lazy and have not set up any family business for their children;
Parents love their children, so they have far-reaching plans.
The meaning of this sentence is that if parents love their children, they will subconsciously plan their future for them. As any ordinary person, the good or bad of the future must be closely related to the personal financial ability.
. Economic ability, to a certain extent, not only refers to the individual's ability to make money, but also includes the industry left by parents for you.
Although I often see people complaining about getting on my parents . But in real life, if you can look at the world from the shoulders of your parents, you will be willing to do it as a parent or a child.
Especially at the age of marriage, it is common for parents to consider the financial ability of the other party. After all, no one wants their children to face more hardships and obstacles after getting married.
Just two months ago, a girl confided in me that after my boyfriend met her parents, the love between the two came to an end. She is the only daughter in the family, but her parents left her nothing, had no retirement salary, and she had to rely entirely on her daughter when she got old.
This is her parents’ concept: There is no pressure to have a daughter, so you don’t have to work hard, save money, buy a car and a house, and have a daughter to support you when you are old.
So her parents, as soon as she graduated from college, have been constantly emphasizing the need for her repayment with the grace of raising her. Recently, her father also said that she wanted to buy a car and let her pay for it, and she felt very stressed.
And her boyfriend is also the only child in the family, but her parents left three houses with full payment. The retirement wages of the two are totally enough for their lives in old age.
So, after her boyfriend had been to her house, her boyfriend's mother gave her advice, hoping that her son could find an only daughter with a good match, and the family conditions were similar, so that they could live a relaxed life after marriage.
Her boyfriend finally retreated.
And she has reached this age and understands her boyfriend's approach. After all, everyone hopes that her future life will be easier - although love is important, it will never be the whole of life. The food and food of life may crush people. Only marriages based on certain financial capabilities can gain more happiness.
02. Bad temper;
Bad temper is the most intuitive personality of a person. This kind of family will generally give people a bad impression, especially if you need to get in-laws, you will be more cautious.
After getting married, the two families must have to interact with each other. They have a reasonable personality and an unreasonable personality. It is clear which one has the advantage. I think no matter who it is, they hope to deal with the former more.
Especially this time involved is a lifelong marriage event.
Two years ago, I had a childhood friend on a blind date. The boy she originally fell in love with was eventually broken up by her parents at home.
My childhood friend recognized the boy's personality, but my childhood parents found out that the boy's original family was unhappy, and my father had a tendency to abuse and had a bad temper, so he firmly opposed it.
The reason is very simple. If a family gets married, parents will definitely worry that their daughter will suffer losses in the future, and it will be too late to regret it when they come.
In fact, not only my childhood parents, but my married friends around me have conducted some investigations on their original families. Parents with bad tempers and irritable personalities are easily rejected.
03. Emotional confusion;
Parents' views on feelings will greatly affect their children's ideas. Even if they are not reflected for the time being, in the days to come, children may still subconsciously copy what their parents did in the specific details of getting along.
Therefore, if the parents have a confusing relationship history of one or both parties, it is definitely a huge deduction.
Any visionary parent will definitely hope that the family their children are looking for is a state where their marriage life is relatively harmonious and the family atmosphere is relatively happy.
There is no doubt that people who grow up in this kind of family will be more positive and optimistic, whether in terms of their mentality or their views on love itself.
Usually, some parents do not want their children to find a partner from a single-parent family. This is essentially the reason, preventing problems before they happen.
Only at a certain stage in your life will you understand: how far two people can go together? In addition to the fact that you love each other itself is very important, each other's family is also very important. If you understand this principle, you will avoid many detours.
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