The principles of the ancients are not outdated, but they are not useful in many families.
For example, the saying "breaking bones and connecting tendons" teaches people to cherish blood and is very inspiring.
Think seriously, if you are tortured by your relatives many times, do you still have to believe it? It is wise to put a question mark in your heart, then find a way to walk alone, and no longer be hurt by your original family.
There are exceptions in everything. Don’t use your own ruler to measure other people’s lives.
Today, I want to tell you that the following characteristics of relatives show that they are torturing you.
01
Your grades have never been confirmed.
There is a child who got 90 points in Chinese and 91 points in mathematics. He thought that when he returned home, he would be praised and might even be able to eat big chicken legs.
When entering the door, the child raised the test paper and spoke proudly.
The father said, "I didn't get one hundred points in the exam, so I'm embarrassed to show off? Look at the bright light next door, and the other person has a double percentage, that's awesome."
The child wants to participate in the Olympic Mathematics Competition. The father said, "Just your grades, don't embarrass people."
Finally, the child knew that no matter how hard he worked, his parents would not look up to him, so he simply gave up.
As the saying goes, "People compare themselves to others will make people angry."
No matter how outstanding a person is, he cannot surpass everyone, nor will he satisfy everyone.
learning scores and work results will be particularly uncomfortable once they are denied. If you live in such a family atmosphere for a long time, you will be disappointed and depressed.
Social Master Carnegie said: "Once a person is denied by others, hedgehogs, erect the spikes all over his body and will not accept it."
Only those who affirm you will make you feel like spring breeze and be positive. Those who deny you have found your gap on the surface, but in fact they have brought ridicule. Only by going farther or staying silent and having no verbal communication between each other will you feel better.
02
The person you like is very annoying.
"Children are their own good", this sentence reflects the human nature of loving the house and the blue. If your relatives turn "humanity" backwards, you should be alert and don't trust them too much.
sees a video on a certain platform.
A thirty-four-year-old female doctor, had a blind date of more than fifty times, but none of them succeeded.
Everything has its source. The reason why a female doctorate has never been married is not formed in one or two days, but since junior high school, her mother has very strict requirements on her, she is not allowed to wear skirts, and she is not allowed to have a good impression of any boy.
Once, my mother used a flowery skirt to cut off her female doctor's longing for love; my mother peeked at the female doctor's diary and found that she liked the cultural and sports committee member, so she went to school for a fight.
The mother pays great attention to her daughter’s love affair and has to do it according to her mother’s wishes.
Obviously, the mother has a strong desire for control, and the control standards have not reached an agreement with her daughter. What the daughter likes, the mother refuses; what the mother likes, the daughter doesn't like.
When we were young, we often encountered this situation: we wanted to play with mud, but our parents felt it was dirty and threw it away; we wanted to go to a classmate's house to see it, but our parents immediately stopped it, thinking that the relationship was abnormal.
This is not possible, and that is not possible. What else can people do while they are alive? Everyone has different cognitions. You really don’t have to regard the cognition of your loved ones as the “standard of life”, they will harm you.
If you want to be a sheep, don’t stay with the wolf; if you want to be a wolf, don’t stay with the dog every day. You need to establish your own values and be brave enough to achieve them.
03
You are ignored.
In front of outsiders, you have no way to complain. You are also worried about being laughed at by outsiders.
Finally got home, and said all the troubles in his heart, feeling that he would be understood. Maybe you just cried as you talk. There are too many grievances in life.
Surprised that you said a lot, but your relatives don’t take it seriously.
My friend Xiao Zhao was heartbroken and returned home and complained to his mother.The mother said, "A big man lost a girlfriend. What's the matter? Could it be that there are no women in the world?"
The mother's words surprised Xiao Zhang, and then he walked away silently and found that there was a gap between him and his mother.
The most annoying thing is that you tell your family about sad things. When your family turns around, they tell outsiders, and they don’t think they are exposing the family scandal.
For example, the mother told her neighbors about Xiao Zhao’s love breakup. On the surface, it is "please introduce your girlfriend", but in fact it is to let the neighbors point fingers behind their backs.
Since you go home and talk, it will make you sadder, so it is better to stay silent. There is nothing wrong with having a distance between the mind and even building a high wall.
04
You are clear about your income.
In the movie "The Two of Us", the girl Xiaoma rented a very small bungalow in a courtyard house in Beijing.
There was a lot of garbage in the room, and it took her half a day to clean it up. Some things that can be recycled were sold by the girl and got two yuan.
Just as the girl was counting money, the old landlord knocked on the table with a fierce look: "What good thing did you do? I want the things you sold."
In desperation, the girl gave the two dollars to the old lady.
As a stranger, it is not surprising that it costs one or two yuan. But if your family is together, it will be heartbreaking to worry about it because of one or two dollars.
As the saying goes, "Brother, settle the accounts clearly." Money must be calculated clearly, but when the money is in their own hands, they should be kept by each person and don't calculate anymore.
When you have income, your relatives will try their best to ask clearly and get it quietly, which will definitely disrupt your life.
For example, when the writer Zhu Ziqing was teaching in Yangzhou , his father took away his salary through the principal. This led to the unfriendly relationship between father and son and was rigid for a long time.
openly wants it, and it is really not the same as taking it secretly.
05
05
When you meet a relative who tortures you, you cannot break off diplomacy, and it is even more impossible to take revenge. Only by keeping a distance can the other party be out of reach.
The harm caused to you by your native family takes a long time to recuperate, but you have to take this step.
Once the love between relatives changes, it becomes internal friction among family. But the people in it were unaware of it and thought that "I'm all for your own good."
The reason why a person can do it is because no one can rely on it, and it will be easier to understand it thoroughly.
Author: Common people eat coarse food.
Follow my text and enter your heart.
The pictures in the article are from the Internet.
