Keywords: A man is generous, a man is stingy
Q: 6 years after graduation, I haven't been at work in the past two years, and I have been cheated of a lot of money. My mother saved 500,000 and 600,000 and said she would give it to me in the future, but my mother always thought I had a job.
Boyfriend A met online. In 1992, 166cm130 kilograms, the number one 985 graduated from university in his province, with a monthly salary of 200,000 yuan, and I saved 200,000 yuan in five years of working, twice his.
mortgage is 900,000 yuan, and the house has not been paid yet. The family has a heavy burden, the mother has no pension deposit, the sister and sister-in-law have no job, and the brother-in-law has no money, so she asks him for money every day.
He said he wanted to live together, and I said he had to meet his parents. I begged him dozens of times before seeing him. My mother felt very satisfied when she saw him. There may be very few people with high education and monthly salary of 20,000 yuan.
Once I told him that he didn't want to live anymore, so he scolded me all night and said that I was disappointed when he was watching variety shows. It was so annoying that it caused great mental harm and torture to him.
He asked me to find another man, and that person was ruined.
was unwilling to go to his house to pause again with him. He kept saying that I was disappointed and said it hundreds of times, but finally deleted me.
He said he was very busy at work, so it was best to go to his house. He also had to live in his house in the past two days on Saturdays and Sundays, otherwise the relationship would not last.
The relationship can be stable and it will ensure that I don’t have to worry about food and clothing.
He talked for half a year and gave six or seven thousand yuan. Now he said that because I don’t like spending money, I can only reimburse my dressing expenses in the future and will not transfer money to me again.
There was no physical contact when I met. I deleted me more than a dozen times after I met online for half a year.
Boyfriend B is also in 1992, 166cm, graduated from college for six years, worked for four years, earning 5,000 or 6,000 yuan a month, without RV , and has seven children in the family.
I received this year and took the initiative to transfer more than 60,000 yuan to me, spending 10,000 or 20,000 yuan. I will respond to my requests, and will be available at any time to provide emotional value.
He knew that I didn’t like him at first and kept pursuing me hard.
July took him to see my mother, and my mother strongly opposed it. I explained to him that the reason was too poor. He said he could find a better job, but there was no big problem.
985 The boy from college just deleted me, and if this person doesn’t delete it, I urge you to get married every day.
I don’t like it very much, what should I do? I have no shame to reject such a generous person, and I don’t want to win back someone so stingy.
Answer: The heroine of the above story has not been at work in the past two years and has been cheated of a lot of money. I believe she has not had a good life in the past two years.
The relationship between the heroine and her boyfriend A is at a low position. The man has deleted the heroine more than ten times after he met him for half a year. She is currently in a high position in the relationship between the heroine and her boyfriend B.
But the heroine doesn’t like these two people, and the heroine is now in a typical state of being high or low.
Next, I will respond to this story from the following three relationships.
1, the relationship between the heroine and her boyfriend A.
The female protagonist and her boyfriend A have very different needs. Boyfriend A's appeal is to establish a stable, pleasant and sexual relationship.
The heroine feels insecure inside and is very worried that the man is not sincere to him.
The heroine’s appeal is that the man provides him with a lot of emotional value and financial investment.
In addition, boyfriend A does not respect the heroine's will and wants to have sex early, which is very despicable.
When the heroine is unwilling to have sex with him again, the man keeps saying that the heroine is disappointed, which is also very despicable and disrespectful to the heroine.
He has to bear the consequences of his actions, just as he said in his chat record, "I blame myself for being impatient. I will be at the stage of having sex in a few months. I deserve to suffer and suffer."
Moreover, the man and the heroine deleted the heroine more than ten times after they met half a year. This is also inappropriate, which means that the man’s emotions are unstable and he also wants to ask for emotional value.
In a relationship, only when the needs of both parties are matched can they be long-term and stable.
It is obvious that the needs of the heroine and her boyfriend A do not match.
2, the relationship between the heroine and her boyfriend B.
Boyfriend B, monthly salary is only 5,000 or 6,000 yuan, and he took the initiative to transfer more than 60,000 yuan to the heroine in a year, spending 10,000 or 20,000 yuan. Almost all his income in a year was spent on the heroine.
He responds to the heroine's request, and is available at any time to provide emotional value. This is actually a kind of kneeling licking.
I have seen many such cases. At the beginning, a boy is with a girl by kneeling and licking, and when the girl is weak later, such as after pregnancy or having a child, the man is likely to take revenge and then there will be a reversal of power.
In addition, it is also recommended that everyone: If you don’t like someone so much, don’t charge others a lot of money.
is like the saying goes, "I will pay it back sooner or later."
3, the relationship between the heroine and herself.
All the problems behind love are actually self-related problems.
The heroine has not been at work for two years and has been cheated of a lot of money. She also said that she doesn't want to live anymore. This shows that the heroine's self-management actually has a big problem. I feel very sympathetic to the heroine.
When a person is deceived, if he does not make timely psychological adjustments, it is easy to cause self-attack, such as feeling stupid.
When a person says he doesn't want to live, it is actually a serious self-attack. A person’s biggest attack on himself is his biggest attack on himself.
These self-attacks will consume yourself and make your kernel unstable.
When a person consumes himself a lot, he may think about grabbing from the outside world.
For example, the heroine told her boyfriend A that she didn't want to live anymore, but in fact she was like trying to grab support from him.
But boyfriend A said she was disappointed and asked the heroine to find another man, which made the person feel disappointed.
Boyfriend A's answer is very inhumane and cannot support the heroine. I object to his response.
At the same time, we must also know that our boyfriend has no obligation to heal himself.
Only you are the person in charge of your life and have the obligation to heal yourself.
One of the causes of a relationship not being able to go on for a long time and steadily is that its own kernel is unstable.
When a person's kernel is unstable, there is no way to establish a long-term, stable, and mutually nourishing relationship.
Boyfriend B's kneeling licking of the heroine has filled a part of the emptiness in the heroine's heart, but this is not sustainable.
Because no one can kneel down and lick another person for a long time.
The heroine said at the end of the question, "I don't like it very much, what should I do? I have no shame to reject a person who is so generous, and I don't want to win back someone who is so stingy?"
When we feel that neither option A nor option B likes, the best choice is option C.
. Option C requires us to first adjust our state and make our kernel stable before we can encounter it.
So, how to make your kernel stable?
The heroine can accept finding a reliable and professional psychological counselor to do a medium- and long-term consultation.
In daily life, stop self-attack first, accept and appreciate yourself more, and record your acceptance and appreciation of yourself, so as to reduce internal consumption.
You can also do some meditation and meditation exercises to allow yourself to restrain your mind.
The problems in love are like a mirror that can reflect ourselves. All emotional confusion is a good opportunity for us to know ourselves.
Women mainly make their kernel stable first before they can meet someone they like and like.
Creative Team | Lengai Fang Shang Qianqian Ke Hui
