Whether in life or work, we often encounter stunts, which makes ourselves at a loss but cannot find effective communication methods.
When encountering this situation, communication genius Mark Gowston usually says, "Stop fighting head-on, find a loose brick." Yes, finding that loose brick, the other party's real weakness, can push down the indestructible iron wall and communicate with people in a way that has never been seen before.
Author of "The Power of Listening", Mark Gowston, a coach of business psychology, a cross-border communication expert, marketing master, FBI and a police department crisis negotiation expert, was elected as "Outstanding Psychiatrist of the Year" by the American Consumer Research Association for four times.
He condensed these mysteries into 9 core rules, 12 quick communication tools, and 7 types of difficult problem solutions, covering daily work communication scenarios and allowing you to easily find the corresponding method.
01 Nine core rules
Rule 1: From "Oh, hell" to "Okay, no problem".
Aware of the stage you are in, you can control your emotional reactions in the corresponding stage, quickly adjust the situation, and come up with solutions as much as possible.
Rule 2: Rewire and listen to others.
open your heart, find the reasons behind the behavior, break the communication barrier 's first step, so that you can start communicating with someone who is impossible to communicate.
Rule 3: Let the other party feel "you understand me".
makes the other party feel understood and it is easier to transform from a stranger or even from an enemy to a friend or an ally. There will be fewer obstacles when encountering, and there will be more support when encountering.
Rule 4: Be interested in others, rather than show off yourself interesting.
If you want to become interesting, you must first forget to become interesting. On the contrary, be interested first.
Rule 5: Make people feel valuable.
recognizes the other party and makes them feel that they are important, and they will also allow you to pay.
Rule 6: Help others express emotions and relieve stress.
is ready to accept the other party’s emotional reaction, do not interrupt, and do not take a defensive attitude to let the other party vent and breathe. Positive emotions fill the gap left by emotions.
Rule 7: Eliminate misaligned communication. In
communication, we reach a consensus that we do not harm each other, face and solve problems together, say goodbye to the dissonance of each other's cognition, and replace it with mutual respect.
Rule 8: When you are confused and helpless, please take the initiative to show weakness.
Exposure of weakness does not mean weakness or incompetence, on the contrary, this will give you strength.
Law 9: Stay away from the five "toxic" people
Stay away from the five "toxic" people, the poor, the local snake, the seeker, the narcissist, and the mentally ill. These people will take away people's self-esteem and decency, and at the same time poison people's soul. Make yourself a positive person, not a garbage person.
02 Twelve quick communication tools
Tool 1: Turning impossible to possible
Tool 2: Introduction to magic
Tool 3: Transfer communication method
Tool 4: Reverse game: Easily converting positions
Tool 5: Do you really think so?
Tools 6: The power of "hmm"
Tools 7: First reveal your shortcomings
Tools 8: From transaction to communication
Tools 9: Communicate shoulder to shoulder
Tools 10: Fill in the blanks
Tools 11: Until the other party says "no"
Tools 12: Heavyweight thanks and apology
03 How to deal with people who are out of control
If a person feels unacceptable, humiliated or unfairly treated, and cannot solve it himself, this kind of powerless anger will arise and violent emotions will appear.
When dealing with this situation, we need to concentrate on catering to the other party's own interests. If he can’t or is unwilling to listen to us, let him listen to himself first. You can use the method from "Oh, hell" to "Okay, no problem" to communicate effectively.
04 How to talk to yourself
Remember not to only pick right or wrong, find a way to solve it.When you find that your impulsive behavior deviates from your original intention, you can use the "Six-Step Pause Rule" to restore yourself from a crawling brain to a rational brain.
Train physical consciousness, exercise emotional consciousness, restrain impulse consciousness, cultivate consequences consciousness, cultivate solution consciousness, and practice effectiveness consciousness. By completing these six steps, you will know what you need to do to restore yourself to normal, avoid the consequences of disasters, and be able to listen to your suggestions calmly.
also lists solutions to difficult problems such as how to deal with nightmarish teammates, how to promote smoothly, how to deal with narcissism, how to expand your network, and how to get to know big people. It is very practical.
If you want to know more about the communication secrets in "The Power of Listening", you might as well read this book.
km0km0km will hear your thoughts, and others will listen to you!
Communication is not about talking to oneself, it is about talking to the other person's heart, but also about continuously changing the other person's behavior.
The premise for doing all this is: listen.
Train physical consciousness, exercise emotional consciousness, restrain impulse consciousness, cultivate consequences consciousness, cultivate solution consciousness, and practice effectiveness consciousness. By completing these six steps, you will know what you need to do to restore yourself to normal, avoid the consequences of disasters, and be able to listen to your suggestions calmly.
also lists solutions to difficult problems such as how to deal with nightmarish teammates, how to promote smoothly, how to deal with narcissism, how to expand your network, and how to get to know big people. It is very practical.
If you want to know more about the communication secrets in "The Power of Listening", you might as well read this book.
km0km0km will hear your thoughts, and others will listen to you!
Communication is not about talking to oneself, it is about talking to the other person's heart, but also about continuously changing the other person's behavior.
The premise for doing all this is: listen.
