01
Is blood relationship important? Sometimes it is important, sometimes it is not very important. For the elderly, the most important thing is who should be kind to him and who should do his best to support him. If your biological children are not good to the elderly or even abuse them, they are not as good as those outsiders who are not related by blood!
But some elderly people are unable to think about it and always think that blood relationship is the most important, so no matter how their children abuse them, they always put their children first. Perhaps it is precisely because of his thoughts that his children will be lawless, disrespect the elderly, and become arrogant because of their favor.
If conditions permit, the elderly should take the money in their own hands as much as possible and not give all their savings to their children too early. If the children are filial, of course there is no problem; but if the children are not filial and the elderly give all their savings to their children, what should they do when they have something to do? What should I do if I have retirement?
02
After my father-in-law passed away, my mother-in-law was in poor health and her son worked outside the city and could not take care of her. The daughter-in-law took on the responsibility of taking care of her mother-in-law. Eight years later, the son passed away unexpectedly, and the mother-in-law gave all her savings to her daughter's house, hoping that her daughter and son-in-law would support her in her old age.
This happened at Xu Cuihong's house. Her mother-in-law felt that blood relationship was the most important, so she gave her savings to her daughter and son-in-law, and didn't give her a penny to her daughter-in-law. But she regretted it after her daughter and son-in-law took the money and was unwilling to give her pension to her for retirement. Let’s listen to their family’s stories.
Self-reporter: Xu Cuihong
Age: 45 years old
Occupation: Female worker
City: Lianyungang
03
After my husband and I got married, in order to make more money, we went to work in other places. My parents-in-law live in my hometown, and my elder sister-in-law's house is not far from my parents-in-law's house. My husband and I think if my parents-in-law have something to do, my elder sister-in-law's house will definitely take care of them, so we are quite at ease.
But in fact, my aunt and sister-in-law's family does not take care of my parents-in-law at all. Because their parents-in-law have always favored boys over girls, and they think that their son is their own and their daughter is someone else's family, they are really not very good to their elder sister-in-law. My eldest sister-in-law was very hurt since childhood. She rarely went back to her parents' home after getting married. Her relationship with her parents was very weak.
Later I gave birth to a daughter. My husband and I wanted my mother-in-law to take care of me during confinement and take care of my children, but my parents-in-law were very unhappy when they learned that they were granddaughters. When my mother-in-law arrived in the hospital, her first thing she said was to give birth to a second child, and her father-in-law also stretched her face.
The father-in-law went back that day because of disappointment. Although the mother-in-law stayed, she sighed as if it was so unlucky to have a girl. When I was discharged from the hospital, my mother-in-law was unwilling to take care of me, and I didn't want her to take care of me. She showed me her face every day, and I would be angry to death by her.
My husband was afraid that our mother-in-law would quarrel, so he didn't want his mother-in-law to take care of him, so he went back to his hometown. After my mother-in-law left, no one took care of the children, so I could only be a full-time mother. It was not until my child went to school that I found a odd job in my hometown, taking care of the children and doing odd jobs.
04
Children need to register for school. Our household registration is all in our hometown, so when the child is in school, I took her back to my hometown. My husband continues to stay in other places to work, and our family of three will be reunited during winter and summer vacations or short holidays.
More than ten years have passed in a blink of an eye. At this time, my father-in-law died of illness, and my mother-in-law was very sad. When handling the funeral, my aunt and sister-in-law's family came to help, just like other relatives' families, and did not bear the funeral expenses. They think that it is their son's business to support their parents in the end, and their daughters don't have to bear it. This is true according to the old rules.
My husband and I didn't say anything, silently paid for our father-in-law to do the funeral. In fact, the mother-in-law has some savings, but her husband said don’t ask her if she wants it. The elderly have some money on hand and will feel safe. The mother-in-law has only one son, and she doesn’t spend money randomly. In the future, her money will be passed to her son and daughter-in-law.
After my father-in-law passed away, my mother-in-law was depressed every day and fell ill within half a year. My husband works in another place and can't take care of her. My elder sister-in-law doesn't care about it, so I can only take care of her.When I remembered the incident during my confinement period, I didn’t want to take care of her, but for the sake of my husband, I couldn’t ignore her.
In order to facilitate taking care of my mother-in-law, my husband took my mother-in-law to our house, and I took care of her every day. Although my mother-in-law is not as strong as before, she still prefers boys over girls, so she is very cold to my daughter. Because I don’t want to have a second child, she has an objection to me, but there is nothing she can do about it.
05
After I took care of my mother-in-law for 8 years, one day, my husband passed away in an accident. This bolt from the blue shocked us! At this time, my daughter had just gone to college and was the only one at home. Neither mother-in-law nor my daughter-in-law could accept this.
No matter how unwilling we are to accept it, the fact is that my husband left us, and later I could only cheer up. My mother-in-law was very sad every day, holding the photos of her son and the old man. After watching for a long time, she vented her anger on me and said that it was all my fault that I didn’t have a second child, which made them lose a man.
In the past 8 years I have taken care of my mother-in-law, I have always tolerated my mother-in-law for the sake of my husband and never take her words to heart. My mother-in-law has a retirement salary, but she never pays a penny for food. She said that raising a child to prevent old age, and her son must support her.
Two months after my husband passed away, my mother-in-law suddenly packed up her things and moved to her daughter's house. In her concept, the son is more reliable than the daughter, but now that the son has left, she thinks of her daughter because her daughter is more reliable than the daughter-in-law. She felt that she had blood relationship with her daughter, but she had no blood relationship with me, her daughter-in-law, and blood relationship was very important.
Since my mother-in-law wants to do this, I don’t have to take care of her anymore, so I went to work in the city where my daughter went to college. I rented a one-bedroom apartment, and my daughter would come back on weekends and we were reunited. In fact, if it weren't for taking care of my mother-in-law, I would have reunited with my husband after my daughter went to college.
06
Half a year later, my mother-in-law called me and asked me to pick her up. She wanted to go back to our house to live. Before my daughter went to college, I didn’t want to go back to my hometown to live for a long time. I only had one daughter, so of course I had to follow her. But if I don’t care about my mother-in-law, I feel sorry for my dead husband, so I went back to my hometown.
When I arrived at my aunt's house, my aunt and wife wanted me to pick up my mother-in-law immediately. My mother-in-law cried at me, saying that in order to please my daughter and son-in-law and to let them support her in the elderly and see off, she gave all her savings - a total of 300,000 yuan, but now her son-in-law wants to drive her away.
The son-in-law said that he had no obligation to raise his mother-in-law. The mother-in-law was willing to give them the money, and that was the mother-in-law's business, but he was unwilling to take care of his mother-in-law. My daughter listens to her son-in-law because her relationship with her parents is very weak. Now, in order to maintain her marriage, she stands on her husband's side.
I was surprised when I heard this. Since my husband took my mother-in-law to our house, we have all the expenses for her food and consumption, and she has never paid a penny. But now, she generously gave all her savings to her daughter and son-in-law, but asked me to support her, and I was very angry.
Later I told my mother-in-law that the son-in-law has no obligation to support her mother-in-law, and the daughter-in-law has no obligation to support her mother-in-law. Our house was bought by my husband and I after marriage, so I would not let my mother-in-law live there, but I will not take care of my mother-in-law. Whoever my mother-in-law’s pension money will be responsible for it! After saying that, I left without looking back.
Conclusion:
Xu Cuihong did not care about confinement with her mother-in-law during confinement for her husband's sake, and took care of her mother-in-law for a full 8 years. Later, her husband passed away, and the mother-in-law thought of her daughter. In order to please her son-in-law, she gave all her 300,000 savings to her daughter and son-in-law.
The mother-in-law thinks that the daughter-in-law is unreliable and her daughter is reliable because she and her daughter are related to her. But when she gave the money to her daughter's house, her son-in-law wanted to drive her away, and her daughter didn't stand up to protect her, and she thought of her daughter-in-law again.
In fact, my mother-in-law is also very good at calculating, but her calculating failed. She felt that her son was gone, so she gave the deposit to her daughter-in-law, which was to give it to outsiders. She gave her savings to her daughter, but she didn't expect that her son-in-law could not tolerate her, so she regretted it.
Legally speaking, Xu Cuihong's elder sister-in-law is obliged to support her mother. People should not only talk about feelings, but also about obligations and responsibilities. My elder sister-in-law cannot accept my mother's pension money, but she will not give her mother a pension to her. No one can only talk about getting what you want or not giving. Rights and obligations are equal.
Author: A creator in the emotional field, focusing on various issues in the emotional field, welcome to follow. Life is warmth because of love and love. Let us grow in love and spend every day in true love.
