Many women with poor childhood experiences are always prone to deviations when choosing a partner when they grow up. Then today we will talk about why you, , lack love, are unhappy in your marriage? Women like are often prone to reach two extremes in the process of choosing a partner.
The first extreme is that you can't resist the care of men for your life
In other words, you are particularly prone to be confused by the good things men treat you, and you will regard this as the only criterion for choosing a partner.
In fact, we look at it objectively, many men in pay low-cost when pursuing women.
For example, this chat with you all night, often gives you orders of takeout, and gives you milk tea. Take leave this weekday to come and play with you all day, etc.
Because these things are something you have never experienced in your original family when you were young. The kind of particularly considerate care you will feel that this is love.
. If two people can live together for a long time, they actually need to look at many other standard . For example, is his emotions stable enough? Does he have the ability to survive? To put it bluntly, how is his ability to make money?
There is another very important thing. If you encounter pressure in your life, can he withstand the situation? That is what we often talk about sense of responsibility .
This kind of woman who lacks love often ignores these details and only sees a little bit. Are you good to me? Then when you get married, you will find that you will be very worried about in your marriage.
You have to make money and worry about the housework at home. What does this man often do? The lazy and unmotivated ones, and the good things that were used to you at the beginning were gradually wiped out with the pressure of life.
What is the second extreme? It means you are used to the feeling of being treated indifferently in the past
To put it bluntly, you don’t believe that others will treat you well for no reason, so what will you subconsciously choose when choosing a partner? The kind of man who is very cool to you.
There is even an extreme situation, is that even though this man was good at the beginning, you will constantly induce him to become the person who is not good to you in the process of getting along with you .
Here I want to tell a case of my student, She was quite unhappy in childhood because her father had a violent tendency and often domestic violence against her mother. And if she did something wrong, what would her father often treat her? Punch and kick.
The first husband she met later was actually a man who respected women very much, but every time they quarreled and clashed, my student would be emotionally excited and blurted out what was it: "What do you mean now? Do you want to hit me?"
often had such language inducement, because she believed in one thing in her bones. Men would only use violence to solve problems . After several quarrels, one time her husband really slapped her with this constant verbal hint.
Later when she came to consult me, she came up to express her pain. Why is my fate so miserable? My father beats people, and now my husband beats people. Then when I gave her an in-depth analysis, she realized that it was actually because she didn't believe in her heart that others would really love her .
This analysis today also helps many sisters figure out one thing, that is, as an adult, in the process of choosing a spouse, sometimes you have to throw away the unpleasant experiences of your childhood, and the impact you have on you. You have to learn to make decisions for yourself, and at the same time, you have to keep learning how to manage the relationship between two people well.
